Greetings and salutations.

[Artofburning]

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to say hi and to let you guys know that I love you. Of course my love doesn't hold a candle to that for our Lord and Savior because I'm well aware of the repercussions of idolatry:

Leviticus 26:30
"And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you."

So, yeah!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to say hi and to let you guys know that I love you. Of course my love doesn't hold a candle to that for our Lord and Savior because I'm well aware of the repercussions of idolatry:

Leviticus 26:30
"And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you."

So, yeah!

You seem nice, but that post tells us nothing about you.

Church you attend?

Gender?

Married?

Children?

Testimony?

Please friend, let us really get to know you!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to say hi and to let you guys know that I love you. Of course my love doesn't hold a candle to that for our Lord and Savior because I'm well aware of the repercussions of idolatry:

Leviticus 26:30
"And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you."

So, yeah!

I'm glad you are as opposed to the Catholic cult as we are.

But how do you live for Jesus every day? What church do you go to? How did you find Jesus?

[Artofburning]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Oops! I apologize for leaving the details concerning "me" and about who, what, where, and why I am.

Who: I'm a single, male engineering student who attends a secular university and who believes wholeheartedly - without a morsel of doubt in his insignificant mind - that the Bible is the Truth.

What: Disgusting mortal trash that's deserved nothing more than to be burned from head to toe in an unquenchable fire for all of eternity - and then some.

Where: Orlando, FL.

Why: For the sole purpose of glorifying Jesus' name, of course.

I'm currently transitioning from what a True Christian would consider a secular church(contradictory, I know!). I mean, how can I take a church that allows women to speak seriously? Sorry, there is no such thing as gender equality in the Bible.

Anywho, I hope to better myself as a practicing Christian and to garner more insight as to the divinity and sheer perfection of our Lord and Savior by living -- as best as my fragile, good for nothing mortal corpse allows me -- as He did.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

I mean, how can I take a church that allows women to speak seriously? Sorry, there is no such thing as gender equality in the Bible.

An excellent point!

Of course, you realize that the forbidden speech is "in the church", correct?

[Artofburning]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Indeed, it is, hence the reason why I left. I cannot affiliate myself with people who blatantly disregard the teachings of the KJV Bible. It's as if they indulge in the idea of their writhing around in pure, unadulterated agony for the rest of eternity. To each his own, I suppose.

[Cursed]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome to our friendly forum, Artofburning! You won't find a more literal interpretation of the King James Bible anywhere else on the internet, I hope you enjoy your stay!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. You seem like our kind of people.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Artofburning]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. You seem like our kind of people.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Thank you, Pastor Ezekiel, as well as the rest of you for your kind words and blessings! I have no doubt God will reward ALL of you handsomely in the afterlife!

[John Creeser]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome friend,

Tell us - do you hunt with a rifle or bow?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

I have no doubt God will reward ALL of you handsomely in the afterlife!

Just we are clear that you are not some wolf in sheepskin togs can you define a fitting celestial reward for a True Christian(tm)?

Sometimes what we don't say is just as important to God as what we do say.

YIC

[Artofburning]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome friend,

Tell us - do you hunt with a rifle or bow?

Good question and the answer to that depends entirely on the type of prey. Be it witches, I would choose the rifle, preferably the M-14. Be it atheists, I would choose the bow mainly for its ruthlessness. However, if all else fails, the infallible word of God would be the end all, be all weapon of choice to combat Satan's minions.

Go in peace.

[Artofburning]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Just we are clear that you are not some wolf in sheepskin togs can you define a fitting celestial reward for a True Christian™?

Sometimes what we don't say is just as important to God as what we do say.

YIC

The sting of skepticism scolds my heart, friend, but I can understand. Jesus did speak of false prophets, did he not?

I would have to say a fitting reward for a True Christian™ would be a golden fleeced Egyptian cotton pillow on which you would be in eternal prayer -- the latter, of course, being the ultimate of rewards. What more can one ask for?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

Welcome Art! Seeing everyone seems to of asked you basic questions and confirmed you are not a crazed atheist whose sole purpose in life is to mock kind True Christians(tm), I'll go off the norm here and ask you about hunting.
Do you get a permit or do you believe your faith is the only license you need?
Do you hunt with a rifle, bow, knife or bare handed?
Who bleeds out your kill, you or your wife?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings and salutations.

The sting of skepticism scolds my heart, friend, but I can understand. Jesus did speak of false prophets, did he not?

I would have to say a fitting reward for a True Christian™ would be a golden fleeced Egyptian cotton pillow on which you would be in eternal prayer -- the latter, of course, being the ultimate of rewards. What more can one ask for?

Brother Faith Machine is an ex-Jew. He has some very bad feelings about Egypt. Pharaoh, plagues, exodus, all that.