Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

[YonderFool]

Hello everyone, YonderFork here, real name Yuan Monos, denomination Lutheran and proud. There seem to be a few misconseptions about me. I am not a "chinese anal sex fan," as you say, in fact, I'm actually a virgin. I hope you are aware of the Bible verse which states "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor." I would deeply appreciate it if you changed my username back to YonderFork, and remove the ill-informed parody of my profile which states I am "on my knees for some hairy stranger," and then maybe this forum and I could get back on the right track.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Friend, the fact that you may have limited yourself to only being penetrated anally, as opposed to vaginally, does not make you a virgin. The only people who believe that are Catholics.

Oh wait, you're a Lutheran, i.e., a Catholic.

Never mind.

[YonderFool]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

It seems I didn't quite get my message across. I wasn't saying I'm limiting myself to anal sex, I meant I was saving myself for marriage. And as for my actual like/dislike of anal, I don't think I'd enjoy it, haven't had it yet.

P.S. The Lutheran church is actually quite different than the Catholic church. In fact, it was formed as a rebellion against the Catholic church. I suggest you read up on Lutheranism, it's quite an interesting story.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Hello Yuan and welcome to most friendly forum in internet.
We do not have many ornamentals coming to this forum. Maybe it's because there are not many of them people that can speak proper American and most of them worship that naked fat-demon.
Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Hello, Young fool. What church do you attend in godly Amarillo, TX? How many times have you eaten a 72 oz steak?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Yonder, I don't need to read up on Lutheranism because I've lived it. She statue worship, the veneration of dead people, the rosary bead, the communions and confirmations, the "do it if it feels good and you don't get caught" morality, the altar boys bleeding from their rectums...

Yep, totally different from Catholicism.

[YonderFool]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

I attend Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Borger, TX.

I am not an oriental, I was born American.

Steak? I don't think I've had it that much, can't really recall when I last had it.

How I found Jesus? I was baptized when I was pretty young, brought up in a Christian household.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

I attend Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Borger, TX.

Yeah, we get it; you're a Lutheran. Friend, I don't care what you do behind closed doors, but I'd sure appreciate it if you wouldn't flaunt your sick lifestyle here were the children and womenfolk can see.

I was baptized when I was pretty young, brought up in a Christian household.

How young is "pretty young?" Did you have any idea what was going on or what it meant?


We really want to you to be in Heaven with us after you die, but I fear that won't happen if you don't really confront just how badly you've been led astray by false beliefs.

If you're ready to turn over a new leaf, we're here to help.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Friend, no real American is named Yuan. Only slopes, chinks, gooks or slants have names that sound like pennies in the 'Have a penny, take a penny' plate.
I want to thank you for your peoples effort in controling the feral cat situation. However, when I say light starch, I really mean light starch. My shirts are as stiff as a board!

[John North]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

And as for my actual like/dislike of anal, I don't think I'd enjoy it, haven't had it yet.

Yet?! At least your intentions are clear.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

I attend Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Borger, TX.

Do they teach all of Luther's teachings there, or only the ones that are politically correct?

Have you joined the Lutheran movement to expel the Jews?



Martin Luther - On the Jews and Their Lies (full translation)

Introduction:

I had made up my mind to write no more either about the Jews or against them. But since I learned that those miserable and accursed people do not cease to lure to themselves even us, that is, the Christians, I have published this little book, so that I might be found among those who opposed such poisonous activities of the Jews and who warned the Christians to be on their guard against them. I would not have believed that a Christian could be duped by the Jews into taking their exile and wretchedness upon himself. However, the devil is the god of the world, and wherever God's word is absent he has an easy task, not only with the weak but also with the strong. May God help us. Amen.

Follow the link above to read the rest!

[YonderFool]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Just because I'm Lutheran doesn't mean I agree with everything Martin Luther said ever. For instance, I disagree with the antisemitic teachings you just showed me.

Yet?! At least your intentions are clear.

I'm sorry; poor choice of words. I'm not going to try anal sex, because frankly, it just sounds painful for the woman involved.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Just because I'm Lutheran doesn't mean I agree with everything Martin Luther said ever.

So you make up your own rules instead?

Why not follow God's rules as they are in His Holy Bible?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

The Lutheran church is actually quite different than the Catholic church. In fact, it was formed as a rebellion against the Catholic church. I suggest you read up on Lutheranism, it's quite an interesting story.

We have.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi everyone, I'd like to set a few things straight.

Just because I'm Lutheran doesn't mean I agree with everything Martin Luther said ever. For instance, I disagree with the antisemitic teachings you just showed me.

Why call yourself a Lutheran if you don't follow Luther's teachings? Are you just showing up for the free lutefisk they serve at church functions?

I'm sorry; poor choice of words. I'm not going to try anal sex, because frankly, it just sounds painful for the woman involved.

So that's the only reason you're not going to try it? And I take it "the woman involved" might be any old floozy, as opposed to your lawfully wedded wife?


Forgive me for saying so, friend, but I'm getting the impression that with you, the only criteria for deciding what to do is whether it feels good.