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  • Broth. Fred Novaluck
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Oct 2012
    • 9
    #1

    Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

    Hello Brothers and Sisters in Christ, my name is Fred Novaluck and I am a 42-year-old white, Baptist male interested in becoming a True Christian ™.

    -I attend First Baptist Church in Ruckersville, Virginia.
    -I was baptized at that very church on April 17, 1995.
    -My favorite hobbies are studying Jesus' word and hunting deer/witches.
    Tags: None
    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22373
      #2
      Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

      Welcome to God's favorite forum! Did you attend the United Christian Academy?
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Broth. Fred Novaluck
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Oct 2012
          • 9
          #3
          Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

          Indeed, I did!

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996
              #4
              Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

              Hello, Broth. What is your favorite broth? I'm a fan of chicken, because it tastes good in so many different dishes.

              Also, what is your favorite Bible verse?
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Broth. Fred Novaluck
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 9
                  #5
                  Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                  My favorite Bible verse is easily John 8:7.

                  Broth. was an attempt to abbreviate brother, I can see how you may get the misconception that I was talking about soup. (My favorite is chicken as well! )

                    Comment

                    • Little Donkey
                      Forum Member
                      • Oct 2010
                      • 498
                      #6
                      Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                      You're not a "brother" are you? That would be awkward...

                        Comment

                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                          Honorary True Christian™
                          Forum Member
                          • May 2008
                          • 13996
                          #7
                          Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                          Originally posted by Broth. Fred Novaluck View Post
                          My favorite Bible verse is easily John 8:7.

                          Broth. was an attempt to abbreviate brother, I can see how you may get the misconception that I was talking about soup. (My favorite is chicken as well! )
                          I see. Whose brother are you?

                          You do know that only Catholics use "Brother" as a formal title, right?
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78556
                              #8
                              Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                              If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                              If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                              You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                              Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                Comment

                                • Broth. Fred Novaluck
                                  Unsaved trash
                                  Under Investigation
                                  • Oct 2012
                                  • 9
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                  Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                  You do know that only Catholics use "Brother" as a formal title, right?
                                  Really?!

                                  My church, though anti-Cat-a-lic, has been using the term for as long as I have been there. I shall start looking for a new church right away! Do you know of any True Christian churches around Virginia?

                                  As for a brother I had one when I was younger, but he tried to put AIDS in our fair house by becoming a homersexual. We couldn't allow that in our Godly house, so we threw him out on the streets. I, personally, was for stoning, but they thought that we could get convicted for child abuse and didn't want to get Jailed for Jesus, so they let him live. It was a choice that haunts me to this very day.

                                    Comment

                                    • Carl the wop
                                      Forum Member
                                      Forum Member
                                      • Oct 2012
                                      • 462
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                      Just lose the capital B and you should be ok.. brother Fred.
                                      Recovering Catholic.

                                      Helping restore the "bully" to the "bully pulpit"

                                      Aspiring to be God's Bouncer..

                                        Comment

                                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                                          Honorary True Christian™
                                          Forum Member
                                          • May 2008
                                          • 13996
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                          Originally posted by Broth. Fred Novaluck View Post


                                          Really?!

                                          My church, though anti-Cat-a-lic, has been using the term for as long as I have been there.
                                          True Christians™ are all brothers and sisters in Christ, but "Brother" as a title (like "Father Feelgood" or "Mother Menopause" or "Sister Blister") is a Catholic thing.

                                          Your very username is offensive.
                                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                            Comment

                                            • Mary Etheldreda
                                              Gushing for Jesus
                                               
                                              • Sep 2011
                                              • 23775
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                              Originally posted by Broth. Fred Novaluck View Post
                                              My favorite Bible verse is easily John 8:7.

                                              Broth. was an attempt to abbreviate brother, I can see how you may get the misconception that I was talking about soup. (My favorite is chicken as well! )
                                              A bit presumptuous, don't you think?

                                              I have no reason to assume you are a brother in Christ. For all I know, you could be some angry atheist trolling this forum. You wouldn't be the first.

                                              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                                Comment

                                                • Broth. Fred Novaluck
                                                  Unsaved trash
                                                  Under Investigation
                                                  • Oct 2012
                                                  • 9
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                                  Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                                  Your very username is offensive.
                                                  It must be changed! how about my full name, Fred Leary Novaluck?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Didymus Much
                                                      Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                                      • Jun 2010
                                                      • 14079
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                                      Originally posted by Broth. Fred Novaluck View Post
                                                      It must be changed! how about my full name, Fred Leary Novaluck?
                                                      Prayer (and a generous contribution to the Pastor's Vacation Fund) can work wonders around here, apparently.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Broth. Fred Novaluck
                                                          Unsaved trash
                                                          Under Investigation
                                                          • Oct 2012
                                                          • 9
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Hello, Fred Novaluck here...

                                                          Of course prayer works wonders here! Prayer works wonders everywhere!

                                                            Comment

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