Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

[Robbie]

It is with great joy that I join such a beautiful God-fearing community as this one. Rare is it in these days of liberal politics, homusaxuals and vegetarianism that we can find a true community of the Lord, where we uphold His holy values.
And now, myself. My name is Robbie, though I am investigating the possibility of a legal name change to Leviticus of the Great Revelation. I was converted to the Word after a life of sin that St. Augustin would despair of. Now I embrace God's love with all my heart, and have dedicated my life to the conversion of the heathens of Britain.
My favourite Biblical verses are:
1) God's revelation of the perfection awaiting us in Heaven (Matthew 22:27)

And last of all, the woman died also.

2) God's clear word in favour of such great American institutions as McDonald's (Leviticus 3:16)

All the fat is the Lord's.

I ask now for your welcome and your blessing.

May God bless you all.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

It is with great joy that I join such a beautiful God-fearing community as this one. Rare is it in these days of liberal politics, homusaxuals and vegetarianism that we can find a true community of the Lord, where we uphold His holy values.
And now, myself. My name is Robbie, though I am investigating the possibility of a legal name change to Leviticus of the Great Revelation. I was converted to the Word after a life of sin that St. Augustin would despair of. Now I embrace God's love with all my heart, and have dedicated my life to the conversion of the heathens of Britain.
My favourite Biblical verses are:
1) God's revelation of the perfection awaiting us in Heaven (Matthew 22:27)
2) God's clear word in favour of such great American institutions as McDonald's (Leviticus 3:16)
I ask now for your welcome and your blessing.

May God bless you all.

1. So, your favourite New Testament verse is one spoken by the Sadducees whilst trying to make Jesus look a fool.

2. You use God’s Word from The Old Testament verse, as if in support of McDonalds – that well known purveyor of homersexurality, kiddy piffling and Satanist clowns.

Son, you have a long journey before you ere you see the near-celestial grounds of Landover.

[Robbie]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

Can what you say be true? It appears that I have a long road of learning and prayer ahead of me indeed. But as the Word tell us, it is a long and difficult journey to salvation, but an easy slope to Hell. I pray for guidance to the Lord's arms.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

Praise Jesus, and welcome to God's favorite forum. You seem like a real fine fellow.

Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? How many soldiers for Christ have you and your wife produced? Which church do you attend?

We are glad to have you.

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

It is with great joy that I join such a beautiful God-fearing community as this one. Rare is it in these days of liberal politics, homusaxuals and vegetarianism that we can find a true community of the Lord, where we uphold His holy values.
And now, myself. My name is Robbie, though I am investigating the possibility of a legal name change to Leviticus of the Great Revelation. I was converted to the Word after a life of sin that St. Augustin would despair of. Now I embrace God's love with all my heart, and have dedicated my life to the conversion of the heathens of Britain.
My favourite Biblical verses are:
1) God's revelation of the perfection awaiting us in Heaven (Matthew 22:27)
2) God's clear word in favour of such great American institutions as McDonald's (Leviticus 3:16)
I ask now for your welcome and your blessing.

May God bless you all.

Are a toothless, drunk Brit - you spell favorite funny?? God bless and hope to see you around often.

[Robbie]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

Wow, I've had my choice in verses and spelling lambasted already! It truly seems as if the path to Jesus is harder than I ever perceived.

Pastor Ezekiel, I am 19, and as such have only sired one servant of God so far, yet Miriam and I are constantly praying to God for more blessings. Our church is The First Baptist Church of Contrition and Chastity in England.

As for these unfounded accusations of my dental records and alcoholic tendencies, might I defend myself with the Word.

"Drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God."

Galatians 5:21.

As of yet, I see no specific Biblical verse against a lack of teeth, or the British way of spelling.

Peace be with you all.

[Talitha]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

Welcome Robbie.
The path to Salvation can be a difficult and rocky one but you'll find that along the way there are kind and gentle folks like myself to help guide you

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

As of yet, I see no specific Biblical verse against a lack of teeth, or the British way of spelling.

Peace be with you all.

Not true - how can there be "gnashing of teeth" when there are no teeth, evidently Jesus only loves us if we have "teeth to gnash", bear that in mind the next time you consider not flossing your tooth.

And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 8:11-12).

And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 22:12-13).

The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of, And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 24:50-51).

For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 25:29-30).

But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out (Luke 13:27-28).

The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:41-42).

So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:49-50).

[Nobar King]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

What is it with people using pictures of Jesus in their avatars? Haven't they figured out that we don't do that here? Do you think you're Jesus? What's wrong with using your own photo? Oh, right, the teeth...

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

What is it with people using pictures of Jesus in their avatars? Haven't they figured out that we don't do that here? Do you think you're Jesus? What's wrong with using your own photo? Oh, right, the teeth...

I think you meant "tooth" did you not Brother Nobar? He is a ToothlessDrunkBrit. For some reason certain people just want to pretend they are Christ I suppose, except they want to LOVE everyone and not HATE certain people like Jesus did.

I agree with you - everyone should use their own photo - like most of us do.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Greetings my fellow brothers in Jesus

Rare is it in these days of liberal politics, homusaxuals and vegetarianism that we can find a true community of the Lord, where we uphold His holy values.

Yes, that is hard to find, but your persistence has paid off.

I was converted to the Word after a life of sin that St. Augustin would despair of.

The only thing about sin that Augustine despaired was his inability to commit them all in his lifetime. Get an Augustinian monk drunk some time, they've got stories in their chronicles about Augustine's lecheries that would make your hair curl.

I ask now for your welcome and your blessing.

On behalf of Landover Christian University and the hard-working, God-fearing shareholders of McDonalds scattered across America, welcome, and God bless you.