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  • #1

    I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

    Hi everyone! My name is Thaddeus Allerton and I found this site when I googled "Why do blacks look like apes?". I truly believe God sent me here to hone my Christian virtues and make me a better man. My goal in life is to rid the planet of gays, blacks and Jews. And Arabs. And Muslims, Islam, bath houses and the Gay Pride Parade which gives my town a black eye every summer with their parade full of gay men with their chiseled bodies and sweaty muscles and short shorts with their behinds hanging out. Glad to be here!!!
    Deuteronomy 23:1
    Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

    ADDENDUM: I currently go to the Triple Rock Baptist Church in Calumet City, Illinois. My favorite biblical verse is
    10. 2 Kings 2:23-24
    NKJV

    Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

    I found Jesus a little standoffish but he came around...
    Deuteronomy 23:1
    Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

      Welcome to our friendly forums, Mr. Allerton!

      Chicago is home to Obama's church program, the "Down Low" in which "it’s OK to go ahead and have sex with men, just as long as you ‘get with the program’ and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”
      Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2012/10/trinity-c...A7UA2AJmsTo.99

      How does your church rebuke them?
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

        A cautious welcome to you, Thaddeus.

        Chicago, hmm? You're not one of Obummer's jackbooted ACORN thugs, are you?

        Yours in Christ,

        Z. Smyth
        sigpic

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

          Welcome Mr. Thaddeus. Though I am glad you are here I am saddened that it took your infatuation with a lesser race to get you to come.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

            Welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope you're not a joo.

            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
              A cautious welcome to you, Thaddeus.

              Chicago, hmm? You're not one of Obummer's jackbooted ACORN thugs, are you?

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              No, I'm white.
              Deuteronomy 23:1
              Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                Welcome to our friendly forums, Mr. Allerton!

                Chicago is home to Obama's church program, the "Down Low" in which "it’s OK to go ahead and have sex with men, just as long as you ‘get with the program’ and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”
                Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2012/10/trinity-c...A7UA2AJmsTo.99

                How does your church rebuke them?
                It's not easy. Today's gay man has gone to great lengths to conceal his gayness. Our church has a strict set of rules such as boy/girl/boy seating and services scheduled during peak gay oriented activities such as when "Dancing with the Stars" or "Keeping up with the Kardashians" is on TV. We keep track of male members who are absent during those times and those visibly uncomfortable sitting next to a female member and when a pattern develops we outcast them from the church.
                Deuteronomy 23:1
                Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                  Welcome to the forum, Thaddeus. I see you quoted your favorite Bible passage from the Not King James Version. We use only the 1611 KJV on this site. The NKJV is a perversion. While it claims that the New Testament is based on the Textus Receptus, it is in fact at variance with it in 1200 places. And in what way was Jesus standoffish? I'm curious what you mean by that.
                  sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

                  Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                    Originally posted by Thaddeus Allerton View Post
                    No, I'm white.
                    Are you sure?
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                      Originally posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
                      Welcome to the forum, Thaddeus. I see you quoted your favorite Bible passage from the Not King James Version. We use only the 1611 KJV on this site. The NKJV is a perversion. While it claims that the New Testament is based on the Textus Receptus, it is in fact at variance with it in 1200 places. And in what way was Jesus standoffish? I'm curious what you mean by that.
                      Please forgive me, Brother Pendergast. My previous Christian teachers fall far, far short of Landover standards, which is why God led me to this site to begin with (that and I Googled "Why do blacks look like apes?"). I am learning everyday and I have corrected my favorite bible passage to the NKJ 1611 version. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. As far as Jesus being standoffish, well...clearly he saw the failings of inferior Christian teachings and that I needed to prove my worth to him, henceforth now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™, I feel Jesus has given me a break.
                      Deuteronomy 23:1
                      Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                        Originally posted by Thaddeus Allerton View Post
                        . . . now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™
                        Easy there Tonto, you've got a long way to go before you can even THINK of calling yourself a Saved(c) True Christian(tm).

                        And correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it accepted not excepted? I always screw that up too. I also get your and you're wrong alot of the time and whatnot.
                        sigpic


                        Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                        God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                        Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                          Originally posted by Capt. Aaron Portway View Post
                          Easy there Tonto, you've got a long way to go before you can even THINK of calling yourself a Saved© True Christian™.

                          And correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it accepted not excepted? I always screw that up too. I also get your and you're wrong alot of the time and whatnot.
                          Oh my! Yes, it is accepted. My achilles heel is their and there. As far as being a True Christian™, I know my aspirations are high but I refuse NOT to have a goal in life.
                          Deuteronomy 23:1
                          Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                            Originally posted by Thaddeus Allerton View Post
                            Please forgive me, Brother Pendergast. My previous Christian teachers fall far, far short of Landover standards, which is why God led me to this site to begin with (that and I Googled "Why do blacks look like apes?"). I am learning everyday and I have corrected my favorite bible passage to the NKJ 1611 version. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. As far as Jesus being standoffish, well...clearly he saw the failings of inferior Christian teachings and that I needed to prove my worth to him, henceforth now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™, I feel Jesus has given me a break.
                            I'm glad to hear you've decided to turn to the real Bible, the 1611 KJV. Are you married? If so, how many sons has your wife born you?
                            sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

                            Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

                              Originally posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
                              I'm glad to hear you've decided to turn to the real Bible, the 1611 KJV. Are you married? If so, how many sons has your wife born you?
                              Somehow, I have managed to stay single all these years. I am considering adopting a young boy or two...
                              Deuteronomy 23:1
                              Hee that is wounded in the stones, or hath his priuie member cut off, shall not enter into the Congregation of the Lord.

                              Comment

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