Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Dear Landover Baptist Church Forum

It is with wondrous and fantastical joy that I have been guided to the electronickery typewriter screen by the graceful hand of God in my twilight years.

I would like to formally introduce myself to you lovely upright Christians (there had better not be any blaspheming and dirty Anglicans here, it would just not do!) on this fine day. From the other side of the pond, I am Dame Glynnis Elizabeth Victoria Margaret "Bunty" Grantley-Hilfox, of the Bedfordshire Grantleys and wife of his esteemed Sir William "Willikins" Hillfox, of Wiltshire Manor. Please call me Bunty, unless you are an Anglican. Or a Jewess. I have seen what you you Jewesses do to fruit at the market. There is no need to squeeze everything round in sight with your dairy selective hands what! Apricots are just not the same what!

My favourite bible verse stems from the pride I have of being the wife of the grandest most God-fearing gentleman in this funny little country of ours. Ours was an arranged marriage, and by the grace of God my husband has been devoted enough to stop me from ever being the harlot I was sure to become had he not claimed my loins when I was 14. Shaming my husband (which I have only done on one occasion in 1952, I cannot bear to digress for fear of interweb damnation) would be the most shockingly scornful act any modern woman who has any hope of salvation could knowingly perform.

Proverbs 12:4
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that causeth shame is rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:3-5 (in Context) Proverbs 12

I am blessed enough to have the qaintest chapel on my rolling estate. It was Anglican, but did I let it stay that way? No what! I am deliriously proud to say that through hard work and the will of our Lord Jesus we have the strongest Baptist congregation in West West Wiltshire. For a polulation of 64 people I think a congregation of 33 is very very smashing. The Anglican "church" on the other side of our fair dale has an ordained woman "priest". This will not do!!! Her congregation is quite small. Thirteen if I remember correctly. This is the number of a devil's coven!!! I might require your help in banishing this evil force. We have children here what!!!

As is good Christian custom, I should divulge how I came to find Jesus and have my life wonderfully changed ever since. Many years ago, on my honeymoon with Sir William, we had the good fortune of travelling on a faith mission to that darkest of places, Africa. The wonderful Christians I encountered on this journey in the poorest and dirtiest parts of the world, and the joy that they spread through the word showed me that having Jesus in my heart was the only way I would remain a strong virtuous moral woman for the rest of my days. All the nigras that had found Jesus were so happy in their lives, despite not having maids, butlers, horses, clothing, books, and young men holding large feathers to cool them down. The ones that kept on touching my exotic blonde locks were quite frightening. I was surprised that the nigras did not have scales as my mother has always told me.

I trust that we shall have much happy banter on this wonderful forum, and that Anglicans and Jewesses will not hope to mess with me. Us English always have a shotgun at hand what! I look forward fondly in learning more about your God-fearing customs and delightful ways.

Yours in heavenly love,
Bunty.

[Alterboy]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Greetings and welcome to our wonderful and friendly forums,
What is an "Anglican"? Is it a type of fishing instrument? Did you know that Jesus was a fisher of men?

Also, have you been baptised by a True Christian pastor.
YIC,
Jon

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Greetings and welcome to our wonderful and friendly forums,
What is an "Anglican"? Is it a type of fishing instrument? Did you know that Jesus was a fisher of men?

Also, have you been baptised by a True Christian pastor.
YIC,
Jon

It's what Henry the eighth did with the Catholic church.

Just like the catholics except they allow divorce in certain situations (i.e. when the King threatens to cut off the Archbishop of Cantebury's head).

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Dear Landover Baptist Church Forum

It is with wondrous and fantastical joy that I have been guided to the electronickery typewriter screen by the graceful hand of God in my twilight years.

I would like to formally introduce myself to you lovely upright Christians (there had better not be any blaspheming and dirty Anglicans here, it would just not do!) on this fine day. From the other side of the pond, I am Dame Glynnis Elizabeth Victoria Margaret "Bunty" Grantley-Hilfox, of the Bedfordshire Grantleys and wife of his esteemed Sir William "Willikins" Hillfox, of Wiltshire Manor. Please call me Bunty, unless you are an Anglican. Or a Jewess. I have seen what you you Jewesses do to fruit at the market. There is no need to squeeze everything round in sight with your dairy selective hands what! Apricots are just not the same what!

My favourite bible verse stems from the pride I have of being the wife of the grandest most God-fearing gentleman in this funny little country of ours. Ours was an arranged marriage, and by the grace of God my husband has been devoted enough to stop me from ever being the harlot I was sure to become had he not claimed my loins when I was 14. Shaming my husband (which I have only done on one occasion in 1952, I cannot bear to digress for fear of interweb damnation) would be the most shockingly scornful act any modern woman who has any hope of salvation could knowingly perform.

Proverbs 12:4
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that causeth shame is rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:3-5 (in Context) Proverbs 12

I am blessed enough to have the qaintest chapel on my rolling estate. It was Anglican, but did I let it stay that way? No what! I am deliriously proud to say that through hard work and the will of our Lord Jesus we have the strongest Baptist congregation in West West Wiltshire. For a polulation of 64 people I think a congregation of 33 is very very smashing. The Anglican "church" on the other side of our fair dale has an ordained woman "priest". This will not do!!! Her congregation is quite small. Thirteen if I remember correctly. This is the number of a devil's coven!!! I might require your help in banishing this evil force. We have children here what!!!

As is good Christian custom, I should divulge how I came to find Jesus and have my life wonderfully changed ever since. Many years ago, on my honeymoon with Sir William, we had the good fortune of travelling on a faith mission to that darkest of places, Africa. The wonderful Christians I encountered on this journey in the poorest and dirtiest parts of the world, and the joy that they spread through the word showed me that having Jesus in my heart was the only way I would remain a strong virtuous moral woman for the rest of my days. All the nigras that had found Jesus were so happy in their lives, despite not having maids, butlers, horses, clothing, books, and young men holding large feathers to cool them down. The ones that kept on touching my exotic blonde locks were quite frightening. I was surprised that the nigras did not have scales as my mother has always told me.

I trust that we shall have much happy banter on this wonderful forum, and that Anglicans and Jewesses will not hope to mess with me. Us English always have a shotgun at hand what! I look forward fondly in learning more about your God-fearing customs and delightful ways.

Yours in heavenly love,
Bunty.

Hi, Bunty.

Now that was an introduction!

How good it is to make your acquaintance. Your post caused me to reflect back to the days when I briefed ministered in the UK. It used to be just soccer-lovers with bad teeth who loved the bottle. Now, it is a place overrun with moose-slums!

YiC,

Pastor Ed

[Godfly]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Welcome Dame

I don't usually like women who talk so much but what you said is spot on!

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Greetings and welcome to our wonderful and friendly forums,
What is an "Anglican"? Is it a type of fishing instrument? Did you know that Jesus was a fisher of men?

Also, have you been baptised by a True Christian pastor.
YIC,
Jon

Good day to you Alterboy.

Thank you for your terse and important question! I apologise for not replying immediately, the electrickery typewriter was showing me ghastly images of young men swimming and I could not make it stop! Technology!!!

BelieverInGod is entirely correct. Henry the 8th took a cult and made it even more unholy by disrespecting the sacred oath that is marriage!!! This was mainly so he could spread his seed wherever possible, due to low self esteem. If he was as strong a man as my Willkins, there would be no need for all that dilly-dallying with guillotines and divorces. What a wicked wicked man!

And yes, Jesus was the grandest fisher of men. It warms my old heart, and sets my pacemaker at a nice comforting gallop.

I was baptised by a wonderful pastor from fair Iowa. He had the loveliest hands and a viciously lovely man beard, almost like Moses but not like a wizard.

Yours in loving goodness,
Bunty

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Hello, Bunty, what!!! what!!!

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

It's what Henry the eighth did with the Catholic church.

Just like the catholics except they allow divorce in certain situations (i.e. when the King threatens to cut off the Archbishop of Cantebury's head).

Thank you BelieverInGod for helping Alterboy learn of the atrocities that define the Anglican church.

I trust you are well and admire how knowledgable you are.

In spirited fondness,
Bunty

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Hi, Bunty.

Now that was an introduction!

How good it is to make your acquaintance. Your post caused me to reflect back to the days when I briefed ministered in the UK. It used to be just soccer-lovers with bad teeth who loved the bottle. Now, it is a place overrun with moose-slums!

YiC,

Pastor Ed

Good day to you Pastor Edward

It is wonderful to know that there are still true gentlemen in this terrifying world. You are correct about the bad teeth! This is why I live in the country. Bad teeth make my stomach turn and I am terrified of any balls that might fly by my face.

I wish you well and hope that we may banter further what!

In holy scrumminess
Bunty

[Alterboy]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

It's what Henry the eighth did with the Catholic church.

Just like the catholics except they allow divorce in certain situations (i.e. when the King threatens to cut off the Archbishop of Cantebury's head).

Dear BelieverInGod,
As always, your wisdom in history is outstanding, I commend your husband.
YIC,
Jon

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

I am Dame Glynnis Elizabeth Victoria Margaret "Bunty" Grantley-Hilfox, of the Bedfordshire Grantleys and wife of his esteemed Sir William "Willikins" Hillfox, of Wiltshire Manor.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. How do you spell the name your husband bestowed upon you? One "l" or two?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Welcome Dame

I don't usually like women who talk so much but what you said is spot on!

Good day sir

I have considered your dislike and will refrain from talking too much in the future. The excitement of the interweb got the better of me. Thank you for your candour and for the fair compliment.

With glowing warmth
Bunty

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. How do you spell the name your husband bestowed upon you? One "l" or two?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

A wonderful day to you Pastor!

The incredible name of my husband's family does only contain one "l". It is with great embarrassment that I admit that this is the only the second time my dear Willikins has allowed me to use the manor electrickery typewriter screen device, and my fingers slip on these shiny small buttons.

I shall go forth and inform of this grievous error, and accept whatever atonement he feels is fair. If it's a night without supper I shall accept it gladly, though I would prefer the cane as cook has prepared a suckling pig for dinner.

Please let me add I am rambunctiously happy to make your acquaintance. I shall heed your advice and study the forums carefully so as to make the best contribution possible to this fine establishment of a forum, and if you are ever in Wiltshire, please note I have 42 bedrooms and countless God-fearing maids who will be at your beck and call. Pop in for tea or some beef.

In unfailing sincerity
Bunty

[Alterboy]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Good day to you Alterboy.

Thank you for your terse and important question! I apologise for not replying immediately, the electrickery typewriter was showing me ghastly images of young men swimming and I could not make it stop! Technology!!!

BelieverInGod is entirely correct. Henry the 8th took a cult and made it even more unholy by disrespecting the sacred oath that is marriage!!! This was mainly so he could spread his seed wherever possible, due to low self esteem. If he was as strong a man as my Willkins, there would be no need for all that dilly-dallying with guillotines and divorces. What a wicked wicked man!

And yes, Jesus was the grandest fisher of men. It warms my old heart, and sets my pacemaker at a nice comforting gallop.

I was baptised by a wonderful pastor from fair Iowa. He had the loveliest hands and a viciously lovely man beard, almost like Moses but not like a wizard.

Yours in loving goodness,
Bunty

Salutations once more dear Bunty,
The internets is a dangerous breeding ground of sin. Everytime I log in I am solicited by homersodomites in sinful and demeaning manners that I shall not recount on such a devote a forum as this one.
So, your situation of scantily clad images of men appearing on your computer comes as no surprise. It is Satan trying to sell toned, lithe images of attractive men our way to attempt to lead us astray.

We must not fall into his trap of sexuality!

PS, we have a wonderful pastor from Iowa on this very forum: Ezekiel. He is a godly man who performs the most amazing baptismals! He has made many a woman and man wet with the divine fluids of His salvation.

[Dame Glynnis Hillfox]

Re: Hello greetings from a virtuous Dame!

Salutations once more dear Bunty,
The internets is a dangerous breeding ground of sin. Everytime I log in I am solicited by homersodomites in sinful and demeaning manners that I shall not recount on such a devote a forum as this one.
So, your situation of scantily clad images of men appearing on your computer comes as no surprise. It is Satan trying to sell toned, lithe images of attractive men our way to attempt to lead us astray.

We must not fall into his trap of sexuality!

PS, we have a wonderful pastor from Iowa on this very forum: Ezekiel. He is a godly man who performs the most amazing baptismals! He has made many a woman and man wet with the divine fluids of His salvation.

Greetings again Alterboy!

Amos, my man, has informed me that this device is actually a computer. It all makes sense now. I thought only Nasa had computers.

I do not understand why these scornful yet hard-to-look-away-from images of now completely naked men are appearing. All I do is select "History" on Willy's screen, as I like history, and would like to learn more about long long ago, but these men still appear! If you know of a good Christian computer man in Wiltshire please tell him to come to the biggest house and help me.

Is this Ezekiel the same Pastor Ezekiel above? He seems a fine man blessed with lovely teeth and good well co-ordinated fingers, as his typing is exemplary.

In fluttery warmness,
Bunty