X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Crazy Cat Lady
    Unsaved Trash
     
    • Nov 2006
    • 51

    #31
    Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

    Originally posted by Ixi View Post
    I'm not a Christain, I am a Pagan. My cats are happy with me.
    Oh, but I doubt that, dear. Those cats are wishing you would give them over for a True Christian™ baptism. For every day they are with you, they are assaulted by demons that possess them every time you wish them to do your nefarious bidding.
    You are being most cruel to those poor innocent kitties, Ixi. How could you be cruel to wonderful innocent kitties?

    When I make rotisserie Spotted Owl I never save the feathers. They make such a mess!

    Perhaps I should send them to you Crazy Cat Lady and you can make kitty toys with them.

    Helpful, Sister Thumper
    Why thankyou Sister Thumper, that be a wonderful idea! My kitties would love some new toys! Bless you dear, AMEN!

    Comment

    • Ixi
      Wretched Unsaved Goth
      Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
      • Sep 2006
      • 844

      #32
      Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

      I'm not being creul to any of them. I think its pretty creul to dunk them in baptismal water...cats are not to fond of water.
      A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

      Comment

      • Pastor Al E Pistle
        Christ's Cōnsiliārius
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 9323

        #33
        Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

        Originally posted by Ixi View Post
        I'm not being creul to any of them. I think its pretty creul to dunk them in baptismal water...cats are not to fond of water.
        We don't 'dunk' them. We drown them. There is a subtle difference.
        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


        Comment

        • Ixi
          Wretched Unsaved Goth
          Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
          • Sep 2006
          • 844

          #34
          Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

          How dare you kill a WOLF PUP! And thier mother! Only to make a parka and mittens. Sweet thing never got a chance to live! What a watse, a pelt on YOU.
          A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

          Comment

          • Crazy Cat Lady
            Unsaved Trash
             
            • Nov 2006
            • 51

            #35
            Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
            We don't 'dunk' them. We drown them. There is a subtle difference.
            But Pastor, Mrs Glendora assured me the cats would not be harmed. I can't send my kitties to danger, will they or won't they be harmed?

            Comment

            • Pastor Al E Pistle
              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 9323

              #36
              Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

              Originally posted by Crazy Cat Lady View Post
              But Pastor, Mrs Glendora assured me the cats would not be harmed. I can't send my kitties to danger, will they or won't they be harmed?
              No, they won''t be harmed. Just send the pelts, OK?
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


              Comment

              • Crazy Cat Lady
                Unsaved Trash
                 
                • Nov 2006
                • 51

                #37
                Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                Pastor, sir, Mrs Glendora assured me that for a kitty tithe of $300 per kitty they would not be harmed! I don't want my precious kitties becoming a pelt, sir.

                Comment

                • Ixi
                  Wretched Unsaved Goth
                  Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 844

                  #38
                  Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                  Pistle, show some respect! Don't harm any of her poor cats! Or Cat Lady, you could move away from Landover and forget about th- 300 dollars a cat?!? My goodness, where will you get the money?
                  A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Al E Pistle
                    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 9323

                    #39
                    Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                    Originally posted by Crazy Cat Lady View Post
                    Pastor, sir, Mrs Glendora assured me that for a kitty tithe of $300 per kitty they would not be harmed! I don't want my precious kitties becoming a pelt, sir.
                    Mother Glendora must have forgotten to tell me about the tithe. I'll speak with her. Yes, we GUARANTEE that for $300 each, you will NEVER hear a complaint from even ONE kitten.

                    Shut Up, Icky!
                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                    Comment

                    • Ixi
                      Wretched Unsaved Goth
                      Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 844

                      #40
                      Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                      Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                      Mother Glendora must have forgotten to tell me about the tithe. I'll speak with her. Yes, we GUARANTEE that for $300 each, you will NEVER hear a complaint from even ONE kitten.

                      Shut Up, Icky!
                      Cat Lady should know the truth! Be careful, first they take 300 dollars each, then they'll demand more, and more, and more!
                      A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                      Comment

                      • Crazy Cat Lady
                        Unsaved Trash
                         
                        • Nov 2006
                        • 51

                        #41
                        Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                        Ixi dear, I'm quite well off. My dear deceased parents left me a fair bit of money when they passed on to Jesus. They would be happy to know that I'm living in a big house where all my precious kitties have room to play, and large grounds outside.

                        Pastor sir, do you mean to say the kitties won't complain because they'll be so well treated, or that they won't complain because they won't be breathing .
                        Where is dear Sister Petal? She seemed quite the expert in kitty baptism, maybe she could help!

                        Comment

                        • Ixi
                          Wretched Unsaved Goth
                          Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 844

                          #42
                          Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                          *Groans* Cats don't have to be baptised, Landover will kill them anyway. And why is everyone on here rich?
                          A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                          Comment

                          • Crazy Cat Lady
                            Unsaved Trash
                             
                            • Nov 2006
                            • 51

                            #43
                            Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                            Pastor Pistle, Ixi's words are quite alarming. My kitty tithe would total $69000. For this amount can you assure me that my kitties will stay alive and not become your winter outfit?

                            Comment

                            • Jesus is Lord
                              Devout seeker of the Truth™
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 639

                              #44
                              Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                              Originally posted by Ixi View Post
                              *Groans* Cats don't have to be baptised, Landover will kill them anyway. And why is everyone on here rich?
                              Because Jesus has blessed them for being such devout followers.
                              The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
                              Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
                              sigpic

                              Comment

                              • Arethusa
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Nov 2006
                                • 284

                                #45
                                Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

                                Originally posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
                                Just what is wrong with that?

                                Acts 10:9-16: On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter went up upon the housetop to pray about the sixth hour: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice [spake] unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

                                God said it; you have to believe it; that settles it.
                                That is the funniest thing I have read all day. Thank you.
                                Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                                I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                                Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                                Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                                Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
                                - Ovid

                                Comment

                                Working...