[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I'm not a Christain, I am a Pagan. My cats are happy with me.

Oh, but I doubt that, dear. Those cats are wishing you would give them over for a True Christian™ baptism. For every day they are with you, they are assaulted by demons that possess them every time you wish them to do your nefarious bidding.
You are being most cruel to those poor innocent kitties, Ixi. How could you be cruel to wonderful innocent kitties?

When I make rotisserie Spotted Owl I never save the feathers. They make such a mess!

Perhaps I should send them to you Crazy Cat Lady and you can make kitty toys with them.

Helpful, Sister Thumper

Why thankyou Sister Thumper, that be a wonderful idea! My kitties would love some new toys! Bless you dear, AMEN!

[Ixi]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I'm not being creul to any of them. I think its pretty creul to dunk them in baptismal water...cats are not to fond of water.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I'm not being creul to any of them. I think its pretty creul to dunk them in baptismal water...cats are not to fond of water.

We don't 'dunk' them. We drown them. There is a subtle difference.

[Ixi]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

How dare you kill a WOLF PUP! And thier mother! Only to make a parka and mittens. Sweet thing never got a chance to live! What a watse, a pelt on YOU.

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

We don't 'dunk' them. We drown them. There is a subtle difference.

But Pastor, Mrs Glendora assured me the cats would not be harmed. I can't send my kitties to danger, will they or won't they be harmed?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

But Pastor, Mrs Glendora assured me the cats would not be harmed. I can't send my kitties to danger, will they or won't they be harmed?

No, they won''t be harmed. Just send the pelts, OK?

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Pastor, sir, Mrs Glendora assured me that for a kitty tithe of $300 per kitty they would not be harmed! I don't want my precious kitties becoming a pelt, sir.

[Ixi]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Pistle, show some respect! Don't harm any of her poor cats! Or Cat Lady, you could move away from Landover and forget about th- 300 dollars a cat?!? My goodness, where will you get the money?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Pastor, sir, Mrs Glendora assured me that for a kitty tithe of $300 per kitty they would not be harmed! I don't want my precious kitties becoming a pelt, sir.

Mother Glendora must have forgotten to tell me about the tithe. I'll speak with her. Yes, we GUARANTEE that for $300 each, you will NEVER hear a complaint from even ONE kitten.

Shut Up, Icky!

[Ixi]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Mother Glendora must have forgotten to tell me about the tithe. I'll speak with her. Yes, we GUARANTEE that for $300 each, you will NEVER hear a complaint from even ONE kitten.

Shut Up, Icky!

Cat Lady should know the truth! Be careful, first they take 300 dollars each, then they'll demand more, and more, and more!

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Ixi dear, I'm quite well off. My dear deceased parents left me a fair bit of money when they passed on to Jesus. They would be happy to know that I'm living in a big house where all my precious kitties have room to play, and large grounds outside.

Pastor sir, do you mean to say the kitties won't complain because they'll be so well treated, or that they won't complain because they won't be breathing .
Where is dear Sister Petal? She seemed quite the expert in kitty baptism, maybe she could help!

[Ixi]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

*Groans* Cats don't have to be baptised, Landover will kill them anyway. And why is everyone on here rich?

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Pastor Pistle, Ixi's words are quite alarming. My kitty tithe would total $69000. For this amount can you assure me that my kitties will stay alive and not become your winter outfit?

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

*Groans* Cats don't have to be baptised, Landover will kill them anyway. And why is everyone on here rich?

Because Jesus has blessed them for being such devout followers.

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Just what is wrong with that?

Acts 10:9-16: On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter went up upon the housetop to pray about the sixth hour: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice [spake] unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

God said it; you have to believe it; that settles it.

That is the funniest thing I have read all day. Thank you.