Inspired to thwart lesser people

[Sank Timoaneus]

How nice to be among friends who understand me. I've recently been not only inspired, but inflamed by American conservatives having their way with women who want medical and reproductive rights, men who want do the hokey pokey with other men, and women who try to kiss women and not let people like me watch.

I totally understand that God, clearly a graduate of a good Midwestern college and probably on his neighborhood covenants board, is standing behind me as I kick some sissy liberal ass and take their heathen names.

My problem is, I'm too sexy for my meme. I'm looking for something beyond asses and jawbones, giants and crushed genitals, names I can't pronounce and stories I can't make it through. I need a Bible bit that deserves me. Any suggestions?

I currently don't have a church that will let me return to, but I do spend a lot of time in my car praying for instant retribution against those in front of me.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people


I think you should read our syllabus for new posters as written by Pastor Billy-Reuben. It really explains all you need to know as far as our beliefs. It also outlines what is expected as far as your behavior on these forums.

Here are your rights as articulated by Dr. Enobarbus.

New members are requested to make an introduction for themselves.

We always encourage everyone to back up all claims with scripture from the Holy Bible.

Chances are the question you want to have answered has been asked before. I would be sure to use the search function before diving head first into people who are tired of hearing the same question over and over.




First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

How nice to be among friends who understand me. I've recently been not only inspired, but inflamed by American conservatives having their way with women who want medical and reproductive rights, men who want do the hokey pokey with other men, and women who try to kiss women and not let people like me watch.

I totally understand that God, clearly a graduate of a good Midwestern college and probably on his neighborhood covenants board, is standing behind me as I kick some sissy liberal ass and take their heathen names.

My problem is, I'm too sexy for my meme. I'm looking for something beyond asses and jawbones, giants and crushed genitals, names I can't pronounce and stories I can't make it through. I need a Bible bit that deserves me. Any suggestions?

I currently don't have a church that will let me return to, but I do spend a lot of time in my car praying for instant retribution against those in front of me.

My suspicions are somewhat electrified, but I greet you with enthusiasm, in the hope that you may be saved and avoid the awful tribulations of Hell. What church has run you off and why?

Tell us of your walk with Jesus.

God Bless!

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

How nice to be among friends who understand me. I've recently been not only inspired, but inflamed by American conservatives having their way with women who want medical and reproductive rights, men who want do the hokey pokey with other men, and women who try to kiss women and not let people like me watch.

I totally understand that God, clearly a graduate of a good Midwestern college and probably on his neighborhood covenants board, is standing behind me as I kick some sissy liberal ass and take their heathen names.

My problem is, I'm too sexy for my meme. I'm looking for something beyond asses and jawbones, giants and crushed genitals, names I can't pronounce and stories I can't make it through. I need a Bible bit that deserves me. Any suggestions?

I currently don't have a church that will let me return to, but I do spend a lot of time in my car praying for instant retribution against those in front of me.

Hello Sank Timoaneus.

I do not believe you are telling the truth. I think you are trying to make fun of Landover Baptist Church and if I can figure that out anyone can figure it out I used to be smart but bad things happened it was my fault.

Please start telling the truth and stop trying to be a funny person I am not trying to be mean they will catch you.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. There is a Bible verse I wanted to post where the Devil goes around like a lion but that Post-It note must have fallen out it is very humid in Florida.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

P.S. There is a Bible verse I wanted to post where the Devil goes around like a lion but that Post-It note must have fallen out it is very humid in Florida.

A truly lovely verse, Brother Rusty:

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

A truly lovely verse, Brother Rusty:

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

Hello Attila's Wife.

That is the one I was looking for. I marked it with another Post-It note but then I also stapled it and then I put some Shoe Goo around the edges it looks better than it sounds.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Sank Timoaneus]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

I was asked to not return to my Catechism classes as a young boy when I insisted that most of the Bible stories were violent, nonsensical, contradictory bastardizations of other myths.

KINGS 6:29 says: "So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son."

Since Sister Michael Mary Manning insisted that it was stupid for me to ask if the Bible provided recipes or illustrations, I was forced to say a whole helluva lot of Hail Mary's.

I pretty much fell away from Catholicism after that, and became very interested in a Baptist youth group at school because there were some seriously hot girls in the club. I was asked to leave when during a prayer ring before a school mission I asked God to make sure my car insurance didn't go up after I almost hit a cop, and I prayed out loud that God would make Mary Rohdey go out with me that Friday because no one else will, and she has awesome hair.

I pointed out to them that God likes a little public groveling:
Romans 5:6 "For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."

I got nowhwere. Most recently, I've been stalking Tebow and doing that thing each time I get in the car. I've been praying really hard for liberals in the U.S. to drop dead, but I don't think I've been praying hard enough for that.

Just looking for answers now, and maybe some kind of insurance that I'm going to get into Heaven, and that there's French food there.

Mark 14:25: I tell you the truth, I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new in the Kingdom of God.”

I figure if there's wine, there has to be French food.

[Sank Timoaneus]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

Hello Sank Timoaneus.

I do not believe you are telling the truth. I think you are trying to make fun of Landover Baptist Church and if I can figure that out anyone can figure it out I used to be smart but bad things happened it was my fault.

Please start telling the truth and stop trying to be a funny person I am not trying to be mean they will catch you.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. There is a Bible verse I wanted to post where the Devil goes around like a lion but that Post-It note must have fallen out it is very humid in Florida.

Sorry, Brother Rusty. I don't mean to appear insincere. In reality, I really like the idea of getting even with those who don't agree with me, and vengeance turns my crank. If God and Jesus are going to be kicking some heathen butt, I want in.


Ezekiel 25:17 — “I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them.”

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

I was asked to not return to my Catechism classes as a young boy when I insisted that most of the Bible stories were violent, nonsensical, contradictory bastardizations of other myths.

KINGS 6:29 says: "So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son."

Since Sister Michael Mary Manning insisted that it was stupid for me to ask if the Bible provided recipes or illustrations, I was forced to say a whole helluva lot of Hail Mary's.

I pretty much fell away from Catholicism after that, and became very interested in a Baptist youth group at school because there were some seriously hot girls in the club. I was asked to leave when during a prayer ring before a school mission I asked God to make sure my car insurance didn't go up after I almost hit a cop, and I prayed out loud that God would make Mary Rohdey go out with me that Friday because no one else will, and she has awesome hair.

I pointed out to them that God likes a little public groveling:
Romans 5:6 "For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."

I got nowhwere. Most recently, I've been stalking Tebow and doing that thing each time I get in the car. I've been praying really hard for liberals in the U.S. to drop dead, but I don't think I've been praying hard enough for that.

Just looking for answers now, and maybe some kind of insurance that I'm going to get into Heaven, and that there's French food there.

Mark 14:25: I tell you the truth, I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new in the Kingdom of God.”

I figure if there's wine, there has to be French food.

My friend, based on what you have contributed thus far, there is hope for you yet. All of that pint-up rage and resenting anger...that can one day mean something if only you can give away your life to Christ, sacrificing your beliefs and even your identity for Him (see Colossians 3:3; Philippians 1:29; I Corinthians 7:23).

I will be praying for you.

In the meantime, here are a couple of Bible verses for you...

Psalm 21:9-10: Thou shalt make them as a fiery oven in the time of thine anger: the LORD shall swallow them up in his wrath, and the fire shall devour them. Their fruit shalt thou destroy from the earth, and their seed from among the children of men.

Regards,

Pastor Ed

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

Mark 14:25: I tell you the truth, I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new in the Kingdom of God.”

I figure if there's wine, there has to be French food.

I'm not worried. The LORD assures us there will be no eating and drinking, just righteousness and joy (Romans 14:17)! Why, there will be no agriculture from which to harvest grapes for wine or any drink or food, as the only tree in Heaven bearing fruit will not be for consumption but for the healing of nations (Revelation 22:2). Besides, with new heating and lighting sources (Revelation 7:16; 21:23), surely there will be a completely new kind of thermodynamics, rendering our need to consume food for energy completely unnecessary for survival!

I would encourage you to put down whatever papist book you're reading and instead invest your time in pursing God's Word through the King James Bible. There you'll find the rich and accurate word of God:

And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes;
and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.
Ezekiel 25:17

[Sank Timoaneus]

Re: Inspired to thwart lesser people

This is all very comforting. It'd be cool to get some more details about how people will be suffering at the hand of the Creator when Planet Earth messes the sheets. Not looking for embellishment here, just some graphic things.

I'm a little unsettled about the lack of wine in Heaven. That's kinda important to me. I don't need to drink it all the time, but that Blood of Christ thing is a critical part of a good paprikash. I'll look for some kind of workaround.

Exodus 29:12 "and shall take part of the blood of the bull and put it on the horns of the altar with your finger, and the rest of[the blood you shall pour out at the base of the altar"

Playing around a little with some blood sounds kinda hot, but I was thinking more of the cabernet kind from Hungary.