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  • Wash O'Hanley
    Debate Moderator (and participant)
    Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
    Louder Than Reason
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2126

    #1

    Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

    I trust you're all having a good Thanksgiving. Over here at the O'Hanley place I did my 22nd annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey and for the 22nd consecutive year the newly pardoned turkey died of natural causes when it fell asleep with its neck over a tree stump in the back yard and had an axe fall on it and decapitate him. Tragic how that always seems to happen.
    sigpic

  • Mr. Jingles
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Aug 2007
    • 574

    #2
    Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

    Happy Godly Thanksgiving
    day to you, too. It's a shame, though, the terrorist siege happening in India. It's all Barack Obamas' fault, though...

    Comment

    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027

      #3
      Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

      Brother O'Hanley, animals are just so sinful - as to never really appreciate all that we and GOD have given them in their miserable "Lives"

      Happy Thanksgiving, True Christians!!!

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

        Sister Thumper is in the kitchen as we speak, supervising the servants in my annual turducken feast. She is especially fastidious about the correct amount of cooking sherry involved, bless her heart.

        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621

          #5
          Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

          You know, I never thought I'd say this, but for once I actually miss having DogSpit around. Thanksgiving just isn't the same without a fresh dead injun. And if you think turducken's a treat, that's because you've never tried wolfturducken!
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
            You know, I never thought I'd say this, but for once I actually miss having DogSpit around. Thanksgiving just isn't the same without a fresh dead injun. And if you think turducken's a treat, that's because you've never tried wolfturducken!
            Well good news, Brother; She's over in Quarantine banging her tin cup on the bars. Apparently she is lacking in thanks for the Blessings that Godly White Men have brought.

            Typical injun squaw.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • TC Patriot
              AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
              True Christian™
              • Oct 2008
              • 1060

              #7
              Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

              We had our Christian Thanksgiving at the in laws. I probably should have had the wife cook. Her mother made what she called a brine turkey and now I'm a bit nervous as I found out later that's how them Joos make kosher turkeys. I fear that I may have sinned. I should have known.

              Is it ok for a Christian to eat a kosher turkey? I'm worried that I may have sinned by accident. Did I and if so how should I repent? Please advise me.

              Jesus loves Dick



              Cheney/Palin 2012

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78556

                #8
                Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

                Originally posted by TC Patriot View Post
                We had our Christian Thanksgiving at the in laws. I probably should have had the wife cook. Her mother made what she called a brine turkey and now I'm a bit nervous as I found out later that's how them Joos make kosher turkeys. I fear that I may have sinned. I should have known.

                Is it ok for a Christian to eat a kosher turkey? I'm worried that I may have sinned by accident. Did I and if so how should I repent? Please advise me.
                That shiny "Donate" button at the bottom of the page will go a long way toward showing Jesus just how sorry you are for eating a joo turkey, friend.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Meek and Humble
                  Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                  Biblical Black Belt
                  Jr. Pastor
                  True Christian™
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 6197

                  #9
                  Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

                  Thanksgiving is nothing but a pagan holiday, just like Christmas and Mother's Day! It is not mentioned in the Bible! In fact, from my scriptural studies I conclude that God does not approve of holidays of any kind. God only took one day off a week. Anything more is of the devil!

                  Comment

                  • Ezekiel Bathfire
                    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                    Christ's Rottweiler
                     
                    • Jan 2008
                    • 22915

                    #10
                    Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

                    Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                    Thanksgiving is nothing but a pagan holiday, just like Christmas and Mother's Day! It is not mentioned in the Bible! In fact, from my scriptural studies I conclude that God does not approve of holidays of any kind. God only took one day off a week. Anything more is of the devil!
                    You may be correct: Am:5:16: Therefore the LORD, the God of hosts, the Lord, saith thus; […] Am:5:21: I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies.
                    […]
                    Am:5:23: Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols.
                    Am:5:24: But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.

                    I think the worst threat is not smelling in solemn assemblies...
                    sigpic


                    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                    Author of such illuminating essays as,
                    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556

                      #11
                      Re: Happy [Christian] Thanksgiving

                      Shout GLORY!!!!
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

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