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  • #31
    Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

    Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
    Prove it, or STFU.
    Prove that he isn't Satan or STFU.
    Oh no I think we have a circular argument.

    If I made an account called "God" would I be God?
    Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

    Comment

    • #32
      Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

      Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
      Prove that he isn't Satan or STFU...
      You made the claim that he's Satan. The burden of proof is upon you.

      ...Oh no I think we have a circular argument...
      No, we have someone using childlike arguments ("I know you are but what am I?") and expecting to have their opinion respected.

      Comment

      • #33
        Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

        Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
        Prove that he isn't Satan or STFU.
        Oh no I think we have a circular argument.

        If I made an account called "God" would I be God?
        Don't be ridiculous. No one would have a profile calling themselves God.

        YIC
        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

          Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
          Prove that he isn't Satan
          I already gave the proof a couple of days ago. You want I should give you more proof now?

          All I am asking is that you believe in me without ever seeing me. That is all I have been asking for the past two thousand years now. You have no problem believing in me when your parents or your preacher tell you I am real. How is it that you don't believe now that I am in front of you?

          Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
          Blessed is Me.

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

            Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
            Prove that he isn't Satan or STFU.
            Oh no I think we have a circular argument.

            If I made an account called "God" would I be God?
            If you made an account called "God", it would be labeled unsaved trash, which would prove you were just a filthy liar. If your ip address traced back to Heaven, then that would be interesting. But it doesn't, does it.
            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

            Comment

            • #36
              Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

              Originally posted by Lamb of God Himself View Post
              I already gave the proof a couple of days ago. You want I should give you more proof now?

              All I am asking is that you believe in me without ever seeing me. That is all I have been asking for the past two thousand years now. You have no problem believing in me when your parents or your preacher tell you I am real. How is it that you don't believe now that I am in front of you?

              Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
              Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?
              Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
                Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?
                Why would a demon like you be haunting this Godly forum on His birthday?

                Get thee hence!
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                  Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
                  Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?
                  He doesn't. It is by divine courtesy that He communicates with us now. Please do pay proper respect to the very Son of God. Eventually, even your knee shall bow before Him. Why not do so now?



                  Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
                  That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
                  And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
                  Philippians 2:9-11
                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Why would a demon like you be haunting this Godly forum on His birthday?

                    Get thee hence!
                    I'm trying to keep Satan at bay, but demonic "pastors" are trying to prevent it.
                    Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                      Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
                      I'm trying to keep Satan at bay...
                      Here's one way:

                      Matthew 19:12 "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

                      Why don't you try it? Nothing else seems to be working.

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                        Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                        Here's one way:

                        Matthew 19:12 "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

                        Why don't you try it? Nothing else seems to be working.
                        Could I try it on you?
                        Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

                        Comment

                        • #42
                          Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                          Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
                          Could I try it on you?
                          I'm not the one trying to keep Satan at bay, idiot.

                          Comment

                          • #43
                            Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                            Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                            I'm not the one trying to keep Satan at bay, idiot.
                            And you can't get to Heaven if your stones are missing.

                            If I were to remove my testicles how should I do it? Just use scissors?
                            Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

                            Comment

                            • #44
                              Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                              Originally posted by Ignorant Doofus View Post
                              And you can't get to Heaven if your stones are missing. ...
                              I'm guessing that you're referring to Deuteronomy 23:1? It says, "shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.", not "shall not enter Heaven".

                              Logic isn't your strong point, is it?

                              ...If I were to remove my testicles how should I do it? Just use scissors?
                              Ask here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=85990

                              Comment

                              • #45
                                Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

                                Dear Ignorant Doofus:

                                As I was reading these posts from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I put my hand on my computer screen and received a healing of a physical ailment. Is that enough proof for you?
                                WARNING:
                                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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