[James Hutchins]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Because the Bible says so. Wasting His seed is wrong. Reading the Bible is fundemental.
Remember at least God loves you.

[satantouchesme]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

But I have more then one seed :S

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Here's a clue: I named my budgerigar Onan because he kept spilling his seed.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Genesis 38:9-10 (King James Version)


9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I would like to order a shirt for myself. Do you have them available in husky XXXL size? I'm willing to pay more if it's a special order.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Those look like some snazzy T-shirts, Brother Larry! Please put my name down for a couple of smalls, please. I'd like to get my Christmas shopping for my family out of the way while I can....not to mention my anniversary with my wife is coming up (I think? ).

By the way, can these t-shirts count towards my monthly tithing to the church?

Thanks!

[Noah Dint]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I will not need one unless masterbation as a child counts. I have not touched myself since as a lad my father got a switch and taught me the difference between when I was wacking myself and when he was wacking my wicked winky with a willow branch. (say that fast five times)

Thank God for True Christian(tm) parenting! Glory!

-ND

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

By the way, can these t-shirts count towards my monthly tithing to the church?

Thanks!

No.

Speaking of which, you still owe December's tithing payment. Because of late fees and interest, it stands at $421.58 as of today.

I'd hate to see that '93 F-150 of yours get in an unfortunate accident because God decided to punish you for not tithing to your church. It would be such a pity...

[TheLegitMan]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I love masturbating. And it's better than church!! Whenever I missed a day of church even back when I went, I would use the opprotunity to get off in privacy.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

No.

Speaking of which, you still owe December's tithing payment. Because of late fees and interest, it stands at $421.58 as of today.

I'd hate to see that '93 F-150 of yours get in an unfortunate accident because God decided to punish you for not tithing to your church. It would be such a pity...

Oh yes, sorry Reverend, I understand completely. The Christmas season took quite a toll on me (had to buy decorations for the house), but I know that's no excuse for the late payment.

I'll write a check immediately. Do you want me to make it out to the church, or is this one of those special "straight-to-Jesus" tithes you told me about that I should write out directly to you?

Thanks for the reminder Reverend!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I love masturbating. And it's better than church!! Whenever I missed a day of church even back when I went, I would use the opprotunity to get off in privacy.

Would you be so kind as to burn your house down for us? Thank you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I love masturbating. And it's better than church!! Whenever I missed a day of church even back when I went, I would use the opprotunity to get off in privacy.

Dear Godmocking Queer;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and being sodomized by strangers in public toilets to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Muttthepreacher]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I ride with some brothers that struggle with this daily! Exactly how long do you have to quit this Onanistic behavior to be considered an "ex"?

[Larry Lee]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I ride with some brothers that struggle with this daily! Exactly how long do you have to quit this Onanistic behavior to be considered an "ex"?

Some would say 20 minutes. But in truth, your status as an ex-masturbator is between you and your God, who watches your every move.

[Rev Buddy]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

I had a shirt similar to that made for myself a few years back after I started my "Touch Jesus, Not Yourself" program at my Church. It went over very well.