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  • #1

    Finally Married

    This summer, I was fortunate enough to find a husband. How I met him? Long story short, I converted my parents to the Lord and they arranged a marriage for me from a fellow Baptist family. I quit my job to be the homemaker and I have begun to master the art of making sammiches!

    I love my husband. He is a devout Baptist and disciplines me when I need it. I thank the Lord everyday for him.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Finally Married

    Originally posted by EmmaLee View Post
    This summer, I was fortunate enough to find a husband. How I met him? Long story short, I converted my parents to the Lord and they arranged a marriage for me from a fellow Baptist family. I quit my job to be the homemaker and I have begun to master the art of making sammiches!

    I love my husband. He is a devout Baptist and disciplines me when I need it. I thank the Lord everyday for him.
    What does he discipline you for doing? This would be useful instruction for the vibrant, clean limbed and firm thighed young men out there who may be weary of how to discipline their wives.

    What sins did you commit and how did he rebuke you?

    Of course, if you have any video footage you need only to upload for all to see.

    YIC
    1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

    Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Finally Married

      Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
      What does he discipline you for doing? This would be useful instruction for the vibrant, clean limbed and firm thighed young men out there who may be weary of how to discipline their wives.

      What sins did you commit and how did he rebuke you?

      Of course, if you have any video footage you need only to upload for all to see.

      YIC
      Whenever I don't do something up to his expectations, he punishes me. One time, I didn't clean the bathroom before he returned home from work (he likes to come to a 100% clean home), so he exposed my butt and whipped me with his belt.

      I know that he is only doing this for my own benefit. Hopefully, I will soon become an excellent housewife. I pray every night that the Lord will work through me to please my husband, showing him that I am a True Christian™ wife.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Finally Married

        Does your Husband share the hot pie you provide him with to visitors? Do you serve it with whipped Cream or ala mode?
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Finally Married

          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
          Does your Husband share the hot pie you provide him with to visitors? Do you serve it with whipped Cream or ala mode?
          Yes he does and I serve the pie ala mode.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Finally Married

            You can start by studying this article. It's from the mainstream liberal media, but is surprisingly accurate.

            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Finally Married

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

              You know that's from the 50's right? Do you have anything more up to date?
              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Finally Married

                Originally posted by Spike the Scottish Poof View Post
                You know that's from the 50's right? Do you have anything more up to date?
                See any expiry date on there? I suppose you're one of those who disregards the Bible just because it's old, too.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Finally Married

                  Originally posted by Spike the Scottish Poof View Post
                  You know that's from the 50's right? Do you have anything more up to date?
                  1955 was the peak of True Christan(tm) morality in America. Women and nigras knew their place back then. So this article is perfect.

                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Finally Married

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    You can start by studying this article. It's from the mainstream liberal media, but is surprisingly accurate.

                    Uh, Pastor Zeke, that article tells women to be a little gay. We don't endorse that, do we? Outside that, it seems like sound advice, though I notice it doesn't mention Jesus even once.
                    The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Finally Married

                      Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                      Uh, Pastor Zeke, that article tells women to be a little gay. We don't endorse that, do we? Outside that, it seems like sound advice, though I notice it doesn't mention Jesus even once.
                      I see it as the parable of the foolish virgins, Matthew 25:1-13; a helpful message to women. Think about it, what would you rather be - alone in a room with foolish virgins or in a one with wise ones?
                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Finally Married

                        You are truly blessed by the Lord to have found a man with such tolerance and patience. You should get on your knees before Him every day in gratitude.
                        Thrashing atheists in the name of the Lord

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Finally Married

                          Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                          Uh, Pastor Zeke, that article tells women to be a little gay. We don't endorse that, do we? Outside that, it seems like sound advice, though I notice it doesn't mention Jesus even once.
                          I think that's referring to the old slang the word "Gay" was originally used for. As a professional publication, I'm sure they would use a more clear word if they were saying a woman should be homosexual, such as queer or another word (though another word seems to be escaping me, and i think queer back then just meant "Odd"). In this instance, however, the correct interpretation of the word "Gay" would mean "jolly" or "cheerful".
                          It's all a matter of knowing your English! Though don't take this the wrong way, because we all know the best language is that of the KJV Bible. I just simply retain silly things like that. Hope I was helpful, Brother!
                          YIC!
                          Dria <3
                          But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Finally Married

                            Originally posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
                            In this instance, however, the correct interpretation of the word "Gay" would mean "jolly" or "cheerful".
                            The damned homosexuals pervert everything. They aren't satisfied with ruining the marriages of honest, God-fearing folk. No, they have to destroy the English language, too. What could possibly be jolly or cheerful about thumbing your nose at God by having sex for pleasure instead of for reproduction? At least, when the homos co-opted the word "queer," it fit.
                            The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Finally Married

                              Originally posted by EmmaLee View Post
                              Whenever I don't do something up to his expectations, he punishes me. One time, I didn't clean the bathroom before he returned home from work (he likes to come to a 100% clean home), so he exposed my butt and whipped me with his belt.

                              I know that he is only doing this for my own benefit. Hopefully, I will soon become an excellent housewife. I pray every night that the Lord will work through me to please my husband, showing him that I am a True Christian™ wife.
                              A pathetic woman with no self steem who let her husband abuse of her if she doesn't do what he wants. Do you know your husband is commiting a crime spanking you? A real man doesn't touch her wife or any woman in that way, I hope police come to your house and put that monster in jail, where he belongs to, and about you, you're not a woman, you're this

                              Comment

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