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  • #316
    Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

    Originally posted by EvePony View Post
    I am awestruck by the Godliness of this forum!
    I'm glad you appreciate the truths you read here, EvePony. Several thing we do here are years-long projects, such as saving Australia for Jesus. I hope you will give yourself to Christ and tell us more on the Introduction Page.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • #317
      Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      I'm glad you appreciate the truths you read here, EvePony. Several thing we do here are years-long projects, such as saving Australia for Jesus. I hope you will give yourself to Christ and tell us more on the Introduction Page.
      The first thing you could do in your 'years-long project' is learn to spell Austria correctly. That may help your case.. although you and the other American's on this forum are so pigheaded and medieval that I doubt you have the mental capability to 'convert' anyone into your pathetic cult.
      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

      Comment

      • #318
        Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

        Originally posted by Evephony View Post
        The first thing you could do in your 'years-long project' is learn to spell Austria correctly. That may help your case.. although you and the other American's on this forum are so pigheaded and medieval that I doubt you have the mental capability to 'convert' anyone into your pathetic cult.
        Friend, he said 'Australia ', not 'Austria'. I think you need to reconsider your short-bus and short sighted comment, friend.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #319
          Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
          Friend, he said 'Australia ', not 'Austria'. I think you need to reconsider your short-bus and short sighted comment, friend.
          I'm glad we're friends. It means a lot, bikie man. Are you going to be buried upright?
          Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

          Comment

          • #320
            Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

            Originally posted by EverPhony View Post
            I'm glad we're friends. It means a lot, bikie man. Are you going to be buried upright?
            What are you yammering about?
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • #321
              Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

              Oh My! Where to start!,well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.Yes yurs Ms Whitford,firstly dont you have a spell checker???if not go to yur dictionary to find out how to spell" AUSTRALIAN".Kiwi is not and never was a nickname for Aussies!,its a nickname for New Zealanders a country many hundreds of miles away from Australia.As for your" Team" make sure you give them GPS machines because your direction to a jungle island will leave them in New Guinea!,another separate and very different country.You may want to correct your list of Aussie pics!,Ron Howard in American,Lucy Lawless is from New Zealand.You may be able to missrepresent and create "Falsehoods" about people in your country,but we have very strong laws regarding "Hate" crimes and by now you will already be on the "Watch List".Your Mission may well be over before you ever get going.We have recently exposed several so called "Ministry's" and there's little sympathy for deceitful practises and libel.I strongly suggest that you make an effort ,do some serious research!,get your facts straight,removed blatant lies and ask for forgiveness for spreading lies and hate.
              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

              Comment

              • #322
                Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                Originally posted by shamanist View Post
                Oh My! Where to start!,well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.Yes yurs Ms Whitford,firstly dont you have a spell checker???if not go to yur dictionary to find out how to spell" AUSTRALIAN".Kiwi is not and never was a nickname for Aussies!,its a nickname for New Zealanders a country many hundreds of miles away from Australia.As for your" Team" make sure you give them GPS machines because your direction to a jungle island will leave them in New Guinea!,another separate and very different country.You may want to correct your list of Aussie pics!,Ron Howard in American,Lucy Lawless is from New Zealand.You may be able to missrepresent and create "Falsehoods" about people in your country,but we have very strong laws regarding "Hate" crimes and by now you will already be on the "Watch List".Your Mission may well be over before you ever get going.We have recently exposed several so called "Ministry's" and there's little sympathy for deceitful practises and libel.I strongly suggest that you make an effort ,do some serious research!,get your facts straight,removed blatant lies and ask for forgiveness for spreading lies and hate.
                Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

                And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • #323
                  Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                  Originally posted by shameful witch View Post
                  well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.
                  If there was ever any question whether literacy was a problem in Austria, you have provided proof of that.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • #324
                    Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                    If there was ever any question whether literacy was a problem in Austria, you have provided proof of that.
                    Lol thats so funny you post about literacy problems in AUSTRIA!,that's in Europe fool!,again the problem seems to be at your end!
                    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                    Comment

                    • #325
                      Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                      Originally posted by shameful witch View Post
                      Oh My! Where to start!
                      probably not with grammar, punctuation or syntax, A.

                      # # # REST OF POST DELETED # # #
                      It seems to have escaped your notice that the mission was announced in 2008. Can you spot any other dates in the thread? What is the date now?

                      Comment

                      • #326
                        Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                        I never want to go there again. Too many flies, too many darkies, and nasty Foster's lager.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #327
                          Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          I never want to go there again. Too many flies, too many darkies, and nasty Foster's lager.
                          You're a courageous and fearless man, pastor, for going to Godless Austria, where nowhere is safe.

                          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                          Comment

                          • #328
                            Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                            [ATTACH]21086[/ATTACH]
                            Oh look, a cute deathadder! I don't know what wus is doing; if bitten there's plenty of time to get to a hospital.
                            Attached Files

                            Comment

                            • #329
                              Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                              It looks like it bit him on the penis.


                              This reminds me of a great joke:
                              Two cowboys are staying a couple miles outside of town on a trail they used for herding cattle. While taking a shit behind a bush, one cowboys gets bitten on the penis by a rattle snake. He alerts his friend, who jumps on his horse and races toward town seeking a cure. He reaches the doctors office and runs inside. The doc explains to him that the only way to save his friend is to suck the poison out. The cowboy jumps back on his horse and races back to his ailing friend. When he reaches his camp, the frantic cowboy cries out "What did the doctor say?"
                              To which his friend replies "He said you're gonna die!"
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                              Comment

                              • #330
                                Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

                                Originally posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford View Post
                                Praise Jesus!
                                It has been a lot of hard work the past four days but we all agreed this is a state of emergency, as the number of Australiens who have found salvation can be counted on one hand with fingers left over. With help from Australien President Ron Howard, we can now formally announce Landover Baptist Church's Mission to Australia. Fifteen True Christian™ missionaries are going to the darkest jungles of that Godforsaken land to spread the Gospel to a nation of unrepentant drunks and criminals!
                                By now Howard has gone and been replaced by an atheistic Welsh leftie who seems bent upon the destruction of Godliness forever.



                                Cutting to the res:
                                @2:24 subjected [women] to manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice WHO DID?
                                @6:27ff do all in our power to make sure that these practices are never repeated WHAT PRACTICES?
                                @7:23 to right an old wrong @7:41 ..face the negative features of our past WHAT OLD WRONG? WHAT NEGATIVE FEATURES?
                                @8:06 misguided
                                @8:20 shameful
                                @8:46 wrongful beliefs WHO ARE THESE MONSTERS?

                                We didn't have to wait long to be "informed" who was responsible for this great darkness! The prime minister lists the conspirators, those introduced as having done "manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice" so vile that we must "do all in our power to make sure that these practices are never repeated" who legitimised "an old wrong" staining a nation with "negative features of our past" by whom we were "misguided" whose policy and conduct were "shameful" brainchild of "wrongful beliefs" and there it is, right at the top of the list front and centre:


                                @8:53f These Churches.. What did they do?
                                @8:59 ..struck at the most primal and sacred bond there is ..your point being?

                                What Miss Gillard is saying is that the Churches' taking responsibility for the placement of babies born out of wedlock to mothers who were not killed, due to the secularist prohibition against such a procedure, was "shameful" "misguided" and based on "wrongful belief" according to the preamble in her speech.

                                Christians know that it is the communistic influence which strikes at the true heart of society: the relationship between the Creator and the created. Due to the manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice by evolutionists the strumpet, in this atheistic belief system, should be free to roam abroad. Her progeny not only permitted but encouraged to remain under her wing learning the very principles which had led to her ruin!

                                What is the real shame here? That illegitimate babies were adopted out to Godly homes (the mothers being drugged into submission or simply strapped to the stirrups so they couldn't move thus saving money on drugs and preventing a possible opioid analgesic addiction in later life)? Or that babies would go into dens of iniquity to be instructed in the Godless tyranny of vice and despair.

                                We now know what "the government" thinks. What more could be expected from a land where convicts were given the vote? But Christians follow the unchanging Word of God.

                                Leviticus 19:20 And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free. KJV

                                WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?

                                Leviticus 21:9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. KJV


                                What Jesus died to save us from is what the secularist would lead us into.

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