War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Ladies, this last week we installed 1080p HD Security Cameras in the women's bathrooms in the Main Hall, Auditorium Extension, Bible Center, and the business offices for our church. There was a minor brouhaha by pushy, loud-mouthed broads who complained about "lack of privacy" and "possible sexual exploitation". While it is giving up some essential liberties, we must remember the inspired words of American patriot Benjamin Franklin who said "It is absolutely necessary to give up all your freedom for your security, so that you may have both."

You cannot be free without giving up all your rights!

In these days of terrorism, we need to be on guard. How do we know Al-Qaeda won't infiltrate our church, and go into the ladies' bathroom and set off a bomb? What if depraved lesbian acts were happening in the stalls? Should we sit back idly and let these crimes take place? NO!

So, we have installed HD Security Cameras not only inside the restrooms, but inside the stalls themselves. Rest assured that only a select few, trusted individuals will be able to see these cameras and videos, like myself, Pastor Ezekiel, Pastor William Nathaniel Sampon, all senior pastors, all junior pastors, all associate pastors, all deacons, camera maintenance engineers, security chief Bobby-Joe, and all security officers, both full-time and part-time.

I would also like to squash the unfounded rumor that I will be selling videos of the Landover Lady of your choice in various bathroom sessions for only $19.95. Oh, and they say I take cash, check, or VISA/MasterCard (no American Express). This is completely untrue and if you don't believe me, send me a private message or call my private cell for further details on why this rumor isn't true.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I trust you will not allow any women to view these videos. You know how prone they are to lesbianism.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

Lot of unnecessary drama over this. One lady (who will remain nameless) barged in the security building wearing some tacky pink sundress and started screaming about the new cameras. I told her yes they are installed but to protect privacy I am the only security officer who watches them. She instantly calmed down and said "well big deal then, as Pastor Pistle staid you and Born Again Bob are the very last men we would ever see lusting a women in Freehold. For a moment I though one of these sheet wearing horndogs was peeping at my nickers".

Like what is that supposed to mean?

Anyway ladies; take some pride in your underwear. Enough with the torn stuff (yes, you Sister Cookie)

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

Rev. Osborne it's wonderful that you are taking the security of the Landover ladies so seriously. I'm sure that they are all extremely grateful. However one thing does worries me. As you said you are concerned about the war on terror. There have been many cases of female terrorists strapping explosives to their bodies. What if a terrorist pretended to be a True Christian lady, gained our trust and tried to commit an atrosity at Landover?

The toilet cameras would not spot a clever terrorist.

However an explosive packed vest would always be visible in the shower areas.

To protect our ladies I am willing to do my bit with the monitoring. Although I am in England I sure we could sort out an internet feed and I would be prepared to put myself out for the good of Landover. I would consider it my Christian duty.

Unfortunately I am not available on Tuesday (during the over 80's exercise class) so somebody else may have to take over duties then,

YIC

Jack

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I would also like to squash the unfounded rumor that I will be selling videos of the Landover Lady of your choice in various bathroom sessions for only $19.95. Oh, and they say I take cash, check, or VISA/MasterCard (no American Express). This is completely untrue and if you don't believe me, send me a private message or call my private cell for further details on why this rumor isn't true.

Amen, Brother. If we were going to sell such videos, they would be more than $19.95. Unless you bought two.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I would hate to get my hands on one of these videos. In particular a HD video of María Gálvez-Villalobos would be awful.

So just to reaffirm DO NOT send me a video of María Gálvez-Villalobos.

PAL please, NTSC doesn't work on my TV


Yic

Jack

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

There is nothing the mohammedan will not do. The women (such as they are) most likely are worse than the men and would not hesitate to smuggle explosives (or nerve gas) in the most repugnant manner. The boxer is a breed which is both friendly and curious and they are very easy to train in the matter of detecting explosives.

[Felicity]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

My father wants to know where you bought those cameras so he can make our house terrorist free.

[Kristin Marlow]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

There is nothing the mohammedan will not do. The women (such as they are) most likely are worse than the men and would not hesitate to smuggle explosives (or nerve gas) in the most repugnant manner. The boxer is a breed which is both friendly and curious and they are very easy to train in the matter of detecting explosives.

It certainly wouldn't be hard for those "women"(it's hard to tell from their looks, but I think they're women) to hide anything under those layers of bed sheets. It sickens me to think what else they could be hiding under there.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I would hate to get my hands on one of these videos. In particular a HD video of María Gálvez-Villalobos would be awful.

So just to reaffirm DO NOT send me a video of María Gálvez-Villalobos.

PAL please, NTSC doesn't work on my TV


Yic

Jack

Don't worry. She probably wouldn't be allowed into the United States, much less Freehold. We would have to start rationing air.

[JustGotSaved]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

Don't worry. She probably wouldn't be allowed into the United States, much less Freehold. We would have to start rationing air.

They have terrorists in spain, dont they? Maybe we should send her a camera so she could install it for her own protection.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

They have terrorists in spain, dont they? Maybe we should send her a camera so she could install it for her own protection.

Wonderful idea! Even if it was just a webcam set up. I do worry about her.

There is no point setting up a webcam to protect her slutty cousin, as I believe she has installed one herself for a premium rate site 'Saucy Spanish Stumpets'.

Jack

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I'd like to congratulate those who installed the cameras last week. We haven't had one terrorist bombing since.

I'm so pleased that I'm on my way round to your place Zeke to deliver a private $20 tithe as a thank you.

[Nathan B. Forrest]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

I happen to have $20 just burning a hole in my pocket, Rev. Jim....
Of course I'd like to contribute


you have DVD's, right?

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls

Alas, I'm a long way from Landover therefore unable to participate in your security programme. However, given the time differntial between us - perhaps it might be prudent to install a 24 hour webcam in the facility so that the ladies of Landover will have round the clock security from friends of Landover across the world. We will assist with the Godly protection of these Christian ladies, Jude 1:24-25

I will be willing to pay the cost of the installation myself and I'm sure there are other's who will be willing to donate a montly contribution for the upkeep of the security cameras. The cameras will have paid for themselves in no time and with regular contributions from Landover's friends, the ladies will feel secure in the knowledge that they are protected by the diligence and attentiveness of Christian men. It will also help to aid other security initiatives taken by the Pastors. Hebrews 6:11