The Secret to Nigra Mind-Control Up For Grabs!!

[Ebenezer Wright]

Good News Brothers and Sisters in Christ!

Today it was announced that documents containing a mind-controlling concoction that is highly effective on 89% of African Americans, will be transported by armored car to a new location.

Source

The secret's out at KFC. Well, sort of. Colonel Harland Sanders' handwritten recipe of 11 herbs and spices was to be removed Tuesday from safekeeping at KFC's corporate offices for the first time in decades.

This is an excellent opportunity my friends! Can you imagine the countless amount of nigras we could bring to Christ with the knowledge of this recipe?

The biggest prize, though, is a single sheet of notebook paper, yellowed by age, that lays out the entire formula - including exact amounts for each ingredient - written in pencil and signed by Sanders.

I am suggesting to LBC that we use some of our funds to procure this recipe in the name of Christ. Everything has a price, and I assume that the security officers guarding the recipe do too!

After obtaining the document we can hold mandatory 32 hour sermons in order to get your serving of the Sanders chicken! People would be turning to Christ right and left! Praise!!

I imagine that we would get back all the funds we spent with all the new tithers joining the Church!

Or if we really wanted to we could just get rid of this greasy/unhealthy addicting food altogether! Our options are unlimited!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Secret to Nigra Mind-Control Up For Grabs!!

My great grandfather fought in the Opium Wars - he could tell you a tale or two about consumables and profitability. There is nothing unGodly about chicken for nigras - why it's like feeding your cattle corn; they love it!

Right from the start, fat is Godly: Ge:4:4: And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:

(mind you, it didn't do Abel much good, then on the other hand God knew what would happen.)

Herbs are fine by God: Proverb:27:25: The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered.

Spices likewise: Ex:30:34: And the LORD said unto Moses, Take unto thee sweet spices, stacte, and onycha, and galbanum; these sweet spices with pure frankincense: of each shall there be a like weight:

(However, I'd be a bit light with the frankincense, it tastes horrible.)

[Nobar King]

Re: The Secret to Nigra Mind-Control Up For Grabs!!

Amen about the Frankincense, Brother B!

"There's no way anybody could get this recipe," said Dietl, a former New York City police detective. His security firm is also handling the security improvements for the recipe at headquarters, but he wouldn't say what changes they're making.

I'm sure that a stealthy ninja would stand a chance!! Does anyone here have that kind of experience?

Others have tried to replicate the recipe, and occasionally someone claims to have found a copy of Sanders' creation. The executive said none have come close, adding the actual recipe would include some surprises.

I'm sure there are some surprises like CRACK!! No wonder they think the chicken is so good.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: The Secret to Nigra Mind-Control Up For Grabs!!



This thinks it's finger lickin' good!