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  • #1

    BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

    Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

    It seems the gays have now begun having intercourse with public vacuums! Is this part of their AIDS spreading plan? I am not sure yet, but it will be researched.

    So until further notice everyone needs to stay away from car wash vacuums. You might want to stay away from car washes altogether.

    I swear you can always tell when helloween is getting near, the freaks and perverts just start coming out of the woodwork.

    Police arrest Mich. man for car wash vacuum sex

    THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.
    The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.
    Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.
    The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail
    Disgusting


    Source
    Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

    Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
    Tags: civic pride:care for your town, masturbation = gay sex, michigan, slutpocalypse
  • #2
    Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

    Because one sick, god-less devil freak stuck his penis into a vacuum you think that vacuums are being used to spread aids?

    People have sex in cars out of wedlock. I suggest you avoid cars altogether.

    People have sex in public bathrooms for pleasure, I suggest you stay out of public bathrooms.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

      Originally posted by OneTrueFaith View Post
      Because one sick, god-less devil freak stuck his penis into a vacuum you think that vacuums are being used to spread aids?
      You are taking this very lightly friend. Just imagine a good Christian customer at the car wash, accidentally getting dirt on his trousers and then using the vacuum cleaner to get it off – if this homer has been around having his evil way with the cleaner, then the Christian will catch AIDS

      People have sex in cars out of wedlock. I suggest you avoid cars altogether.
      No, the solution is not to fornicate!

      People have sex in public bathrooms for pleasure, I suggest you stay out of public bathrooms.
      Sex for pleasure? What a strange idea! And how does a lady (and I use the term loosely) get into a gentleman’s bathroom? Answer me that!
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

        What a homo. How dare homos use our car wash utensils for evil?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

          You can only imagine what he may have done with the air freshener wand.
          Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
          in 2016

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
            Sex for pleasure? What a strange idea! And how does a lady (and I use the term loosely) get into a gentleman’s bathroom? Answer me that!
            Find a bathroom that doesn't get used too often, quickly get into one of the stalls and she simply keeps her feet up where they can't be seen. And hope that nobody hears your noises. Almost got busted that way.
            Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

              This is far too much information. I cannot believe that Godly citizens would do such things.
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                This is far too much information. I cannot believe that Godly citizens would do such things.
                Well, I don't claim to be Godly, but she sure said "Oh God" quite a bit
                Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                  Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                  This is far too much information. I cannot believe that Godly citizens would do such things.
                  Pay it no mind Brother. He is trying to convince us of his heterosexurality. His DOF file says otherwise.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Pay it no mind Brother. He is trying to convince us of his heterosexurality. His DOF file says otherwise.
                    I would think someone who is so adamantly heterosexual would at least know how to spell the word, huh Ezekiel?
                    At least I'm not putting up light-core gay porn pictures of myself up on the internet for everyone to see. That puts me one up on you.
                    I've heard that the more homophobic people are, the more likely they are to be secretly homosexual. Hmmmmm..... again, Pastor Ezekiel is alot more homophobic than me, so, well, you figure it out.
                    I'm straight, but I don't have anything against homosexuals.
                    Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                      Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                      You are taking this very lightly friend. Just imagine a good Christian customer at the car wash, accidentally getting dirt on his trousers and then using the vacuum cleaner to get it off – if this homer has been around having his evil way with the cleaner, then the Christian will catch AIDS

                      Who uses a car wash vac to clean their clothes?
                      Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                        Originally posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
                        Who uses a car wash vac to clean their clothes?
                        Probably the same people who believe that a raped woman needs to marry the attacker
                        Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                          Originally posted by Hateful Bigot View Post
                          Probably the same people who believe that a raped woman needs to marry the attacker

                          You have a point.
                          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: BAN: Use Of Carwash vacuums!!

                            After reading this thread I wrote a letter to Freehold park'n'wash. They agreed and quickly installed a cctv cam to monitor their vacuum pumps. The tapes will be reviewed daily to insure that no hanky-panky is taking place on their premises, and any offending evidence is to be passed on to Freehold PD.
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

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