Closer to God? Didn't think so!

[Wide-Open]

I'm sure by now you all know how depraved Belgiums are, and how most of our women have their nipples pierced.

Well these two raised the concept of debauchery to a whole new level.

"Marriage in the Sky" is a new idea brought to life by the Belgium duo behind "Dinner in the Sky."

Friday, October 17, 2008
VIDEO

It's a marriage made in heaven for Sandra and Jeroen, a Belgian couple who brought their chapel a little closer to God on their wedding day by raising it 50 metres up in the air. After exchanging their marriage vows, the new Mr and Mrs Kipper bungy-jumped off the platform.

Closer to God? Are you mocking us "Jeroen and Sandra"? (what kind of phlegm inducing names are those anyway? And Kipper? I meen sheesh!)

YOU CAN NOT GET CLOSER TO GOD BY JUST GOING UP A FEW METERS (that should be feet BTW) IN THE SKY! Saddam Hussein tried it with his Babylonian tower and look where that got him. He kinda bungy jumped as well, only with a slightly shorter rope.

Friends, the Lord must have been busy, because I would have thought He would simply make their bungy cords snap off so that they'd continue their voyage straight to hell!

Psalm 137:1
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Excellent report Pastor. I am shocked, SHOCKED at the on-going depravity exhibited by the eurotrash God mockers in your neck of the woods. Someday we really should get you out of there.

The failed attempt at reaching God with the Iranian Tower of Babel is another historic fact, which cannot be disproved by Darwnistas. It is good to remember that God created all known languages at that time, as punishment for Iranians trying to build a tower tall enough to actually see God. Amen.

[Lithium]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

I live in Belgium and ALSO find this just .... crazy !!! What is wrong with just an ordinary simpel wedding in church ? It's the act that counts and not the way you do it so why do such stupid stuff ?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Excellent report Pastor. I am shocked, SHOCKED at the on-going depravity exhibited by the eurotrash God mockers in your neck of the woods. Someday we really should get you out of there.

YES! YES! That would be totally awesome! Pastor Al tried to get me out via the "Pakistan route", but for some reason Capt. Portway failed to pick me up there. Of course, Belgium needs men like me, but maybe my rebuking skills would become more effective if I finally (please God, please please please pretty please) could move to Freehold.

remember that God created all known languages at that time

He must have known back then that Eurotrash would not love Him enough so that's why He created abominations like Dutch and French before there were people who spoke those languages. He never stops reminding me how great He is GLORY!!!

I live in Belgium and ALSO find this just .... crazy !!! What is wrong with just an ordinary simpel wedding in church ? It's the act that counts and not the way you do it so why do such stupid stuff ?

Yes, what is wrong with a wedding in a True Christian Church, my harlot friend?

[Ammiel Habakuk]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Isn't Belgium an imaginary place?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Isn't Belgium an imaginary place?

Yes of course. We all pretend it exists, it's pretty weird really. One of the biggest scams in history. Why do you ask Friend?

The truth was even out there in the internet, but now us "Belgiums" can't even reach that site anymore!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

I live in Belgium and ALSO find this just .... crazy !!! What is wrong with just an ordinary simpel wedding in church ? It's the act that counts and not the way you do it so why do such stupid stuff ?

Yes, what IS wrong with getting married, HARLOT!?! You live in sin!! You disgust Jesus!! You are nothing but a whore in God's loving eyes! And your daughter is a bastard who will burn in hellfire forever because of you!!

[Ammiel Habakuk]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Yes of course. We all pretend it exists, it's pretty weird really. One of the biggest scams in history. Why do you ask Friend?

The truth was even out there in the internet, but now us "Belgiums" can't even reach that site anymore!

Oh, I was just curious. I knew for sure a place like that could not exist, I mean, Belgian chocolate AND Belgian beer? give me a break.

[JennyD]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

I live in Belgium and ALSO find this just .... crazy !!! What is wrong with just an ordinary simpel wedding in church ? It's the act that counts and not the way you do it so why do such stupid stuff ?

Libra, I think these people just wanted to be famous. Of course, if GOD had wanted them to be famous, He'd have let just ONE of their bungee cords snap.

Now, THAT would be a Divine punishment . . . One goes to Hell, the other has to live the rest of life knowing that this silly idea cost them both a lifetime of happiness before their more "timely" deaths and eternal damnation!

Because that's how God rolls. He likes the poetic justice, like how He requires the execution of women who are raped in the city (because they didn't yell loud enough)!

While on the subject of rape, I particularly like God's idea of women marrying their rapists. Know why? Because they bring it on themselves, going out unescorted, dressed like harlots! Why, there was one right outside my window tonight (I'm back working for the hippies this week), a trespasser on the hippies' estate. A homeless-looking man (I'm guessing a friend of the hippies) was ripping her clothes off and having his way with her. She was screaming for help!

Well, I gave her help, all right. I yelled to her, "Don't worry, I won't interrupt! Just relax and he'll be done soon!" and I turned off the lights and shut my window.

She stopped screaming about 20 minutes later, and I went out to see how she was. At first, I thought she was a Negress, but then realized that her face was simply a bit black and blue. She said through her broken teeth that she could identify the man who'd beaten her and brutally "broken in" her every orifice.

"How wonderful!" I said. "There's gonna be a wedding!"

"Wha?" she looked at me, quizzically, blood dripping from her mouth.

"Yes, dear, you're going to marry him! After he pays your father the thirty shekels."

I called her father (she gave me the number) with the joyous news. Strangely, he wasn't happy about it. Seems the man she's going to marry isn't the one he'd selected for her, or something.

Pastors, I'm torn. Eloping like this young couple is so very romantic, yet she disobeyed her father to do so, and threw over the young man that he wanted her to marry. (They weren't yet engaged, so I don't think she has to be stoned.)

Should I send flowers to the wedding, or not?

[Lithium]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Yes, what IS wrong with getting married, HARLOT!?! You live in sin!! You disgust Jesus!! You are nothing but a whore in God's loving eyes! And your daughter is a bastard who will burn in hellfire forever because of you!!

When did I say that there was anything wrond with getting married We just didn't got the chance yet (or the money) it's not that we don't want to okay

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

Pastors, I'm torn. Eloping like this young couple is so very romantic, yet she disobeyed her father to do so, and threw over the young man that he wanted her to marry. (They weren't yet engaged, so I don't think she has to be stoned.)

Should I send flowers to the wedding, or not?

I suggest you ask the girl's father (once the date is set) what he prefers.

If he has decided to accept his new son-in-law with joy, then send flowers.

If he hates his new son-in-law, then I'd suggest keeping a low profile. We don't know whether he's Saved(c) or a Godless atheist. Those people can be very violent when they don't get their way, you know!

I wonder what our new friend Libra thinks you should do?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

A wedding should be conducted the way the couple getting married wants it. It's one of the most special days in their lives - if they want to get married in a church, in a hot-air balloon, on a roller coaster, or at a nudist camp, it's entirely their prerogative. As long as the license gets signed by a duly appointed representative of the state, it's all good.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

While on the subject of rape, I particularly like God's idea of women marrying their rapists. Know why? Because they bring it on themselves, going out unescorted, dressed like harlots! Why, there was one right outside my window tonight (I'm back working for the hippies this week), a trespasser on the hippies' estate. A homeless-looking man (I'm guessing a friend of the hippies) was ripping her clothes off and having his way with her. She was screaming for help!

Well, I gave her help, all right. I yelled to her, "Don't worry, I won't interrupt! Just relax and he'll be done soon!" and I turned off the lights and shut my window.


So a woman was being brutally attacked, and you pulled a Clayton Williams on her? Why didn't you call the police?

She stopped screaming about 20 minutes later, and I went out to see how she was. At first, I thought she was a Negress, but then realized that her face was simply a bit black and blue. She said through her broken teeth that she could identify the man who'd beaten her and brutally "broken in" her every orifice.

"How wonderful!" I said. "There's gonna be a wedding!"

"Wha?" she looked at me, quizzically, blood dripping from her mouth.

"Yes, dear, you're going to marry him! After he pays your father the thirty shekels."

I called her father (she gave me the number) with the joyous news. Strangely, he wasn't happy about it. Seems the man she's going to marry isn't the one he'd selected for her, or something.

Or perhaps he's pissed that you stood by and did nothing to help her.

Pastors, I'm torn. Eloping like this young couple is so very romantic, yet she disobeyed her father to do so, and threw over the young man that he wanted her to marry. (They weren't yet engaged, so I don't think she has to be stoned.)

Should I send flowers to the wedding, or not?

You should send a note of apology to the woman for refusing to help her.

[Lithium]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

You should send a note of apology to the woman for refusing to help her.

Altough you guys think rape is a womans fault my opinion is the same as this one, there are women who get raped in their houses and such so they didn't ask for it.
Even if a girl /woman wears provocative clothing it is a wrong thing to rape her. No bible will make me think otherwise

What if a married woman gets raped ? She can't marry the rapist then is won't she ?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Closer to God? Didn't think so!

[...]What if a married woman gets raped ? She can't marry the rapist then is won't she ?

You know, the question of raping a married woman is quite fascinating in the way God answers it:
Here is God’s Commandment; break this Commandment and your soul is Damned.:

Ex:20:17: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

But does this means that (a) you would have to actually want your neighbor’s wife and (b) it would have to be your neighbor? So if you didn’t really like the woman or the woman lived far away, you might think that it’s OK to rape the wife.

However, The Lord’s Anger cannot to be escaped through a loophole:

Le:20:10: And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

So, if a married woman is raped, the rapist commits adultery and both the wife and the rapist must be killed.



I think one of the beauties of God's Law is that you need not worry about the circumstances of the adultery - rape or seduction, it's all the same.


I suppose that God thought that if a man knew he would be put to death, then he would not rape. And if a woman knew she was to be raped, she'd put up the fight of her life, because, otherwise she would be put to death.


It's all very sensible and fair. Praise!