Dyslexic Bible

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

In my news feed, I received a promotion for the "Good News Dyslexia Bible".

I was torn on the matter: on the one hand there are Bibles in foreign that help people get the general idea of God and Jesus and The Holy spirit and what floats Their boat and how that's good for everyone and your soul. Of course, foreign Bibles are of limited use as Jesus's word is in American, and it's only in that language that the Message really comes across.

Anyway, I had a look at this new Bible and, to be frank, I can see how it will work. Dyslexics jumble words up and spell them weirdly. Therefore if the words are jumbled in the first place, the dyslexic will straighten them out.

Here's the beginning:

Ge:1:1: In hte benigg Dod cretae teh henav and hte arth.
Je:1:2: Ad eth arth war wititut from, and viod; and draknis was puon the lace of teh dep. And the Chytk of Cdoc mokued upno hetn koce of the neters.
Eg:1:3: erd Cod sanaid, Lot thaie be lixvt: and thaie was lijkt.
Dk:1:4: Ood dgO asw tne lijlt, thok it saw agod: and God divyted te lirgt for tek drokess.
Ca:1:5: Omb God clad tne ljpht aDy, a te bantnes he calt Nijnt. drAn the eweng ada the narmig were He frits day.

I'm going to take it on trust that it'll work.

Here's the ad. It seems popular enough - anyone know the profit margin at wholesale rates?

[Johny Joe Hold]

I wonder if the page numbers are reversed or if the last page is One.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Dyslexia, autism, and ADHD are like the type 2 Diabetes of mental disorders. You bring in on yourself because of lazy habits. They're Satan's Mental Halloween Candy to be digested in the mind and make the brain turn soft. People love to diagnose themselves with crippling, incurable insanity because they didn't bother to learn proper manners and can't stand the smell of broccoli. A little discipline would go a long way. America wasn't built on pronouns.

That said, if the Mental Midgets can figure out who Christ is just enough to turn from their Liberal Agenda long enough to figure out Sin is a matter of Will, then perhaps this Dyslexic Bible will help save a few souls. Who knows, like Samson's strength or Trump's hair, the LORD can use unconventional tools to turn Sinners in to Saints. And if God is behind this, then so am I.

[handmaiden]

Dyslexia, autism, and ADHD are like the type 2 Diabetes of mental disorders. . .
That said, if the Mental Midgets can figure out who Christ is just enough to turn from their Liberal Agenda long enough to figure out Sin is a matter of Will, then perhaps this Dyslexic Bible will help save a few souls. Who knows, like Samson's strength or Trump's hair, the LORD can use unconventional tools to turn Sinners in to Saints. And if God is behind this, then so am I.

Amen, Sister! By their fruits you will know them. If this weirdly formatted Bible turns people into Republican voters then we will know that The Lord's blessing is upon it.