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  • God Punishes Communists with Holy Ice Skating Bear

    Once again, the Lord has used a bear to mete out his holy vengeance on those who mock Him or His servants.



    A circus bear killed one person and injured another during rehearsals for an ice-skating show.

    The bear, which was part of the Russian State Circus, killed Dmitri Potapov, 25, a circus director who was visiting the show in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. An animal handler who tried to stop the attack suffered bruising to the brain and lacerations to his scalp.

    It is unclear why the bear, which was wearing ice skates at the time, attacked Mr Potapov. The bear was later shot by police.

    I am certain that simply being godless communists was enough of a reason for God to smite these heathens. But I am also certain that making the bear wear ice skates was also part of the reason the Lord chose to kill and maim these Russian non believers. By mocking one of God's more noble creatures, you are mocking Him.

    And as we know from 2nd Kings, simply mocking a Godly man is enough to get the Lord to send bears to kill forty two children
    .





    So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.

    And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

    And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

    And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

    2nd Kings 2:22-25




    .
    Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


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  • #2
    Re: God Punishes Communists with Holy Ice Skating Bear

    Russians are weird. All the ones in San Jose dress like it's 1988, the guys and the girls.

    I think bears should be in the woods, because God made the woods and bears to live in peace.

    And bears are smelly too. I was at a zoo once, where we got to pet a baby bear. He stunk.

    Tammi


    Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
    Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



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    He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

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    • #3
      Re: God Punishes Communists with Holy Ice Skating Bear

      The circus is Satan's playground if you ask me. Clowns, scantilly clad contortionists, men with whips taunting beasts of the field, flaming hoops and knife throwing? I'll pass thank you very much!

      A nice prayer circle is more my speed. And you're much less likely to get mauled by some crazed Rusky bear.

      And correct me if I'm wrong here, but ice skates? Why not just attach bazookas to his feet?

      Hello! A bear is enough of a menace without knives strapped to his massive feet!
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      • #4
        Re: God Punishes Communists with Holy Ice Skating Bear

        It is unclear why the bear, which was wearing ice skates at the time, attacked Mr Potapov.
        Unclear? Really? He put ice-skates on God's instrument of Death and then wonders why he was attacked?

        The stupidity of some atheists is breathtaking!
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        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • #5
          Re: God Punishes Communists with Holy Ice Skating Bear

          I just love a good bear story.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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