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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

    Praise Jesus, Praise Jesus, Praise Jesus! Let NO MAN say that Jesus doesn't work in mysterious ways! Let NO MAN say that bears play no part in carrying out God's Divine Plan! Oh, Shout GLORY!!! Bears know exactly what to do when the time comes to TEACH LESSONS to the UNRIGHTEOUS and the FEARFUL! The Prophet Elisha knew how to use bears to PUNISH THE WICKED CHILDREN, and SO DO I!!

    Bear kills militants in Kashmir

    A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

    Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

    The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

    It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

    Bodies found

    The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear's den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed.

    The dead have been identified as Mohammad Amin alias Qaiser, and Bashir Ahmed alias Saifullah.

    News of the attack emerged when their injured comrade went to a nearby village for treatment.

    "Word spread in the village that Qaiser had been killed by the bear," another police officer said.

    A joint party of the police and army personnel went into the forest and collected the bodies of the two militants.

    Police say they also recovered two Kalashnikov assault rifles and some ammunition from the hideout.

    Animal attacks

    Wildlife experts say the conflict in Kashmir has actually resulted in an increase in the population of bears and leopards.

    Following the outbreak of the insurgency people had to hand in their weapons to police - which put a halt to poaching.

    As a result, there has been a greater incidence of man-animal conflict, say experts.

    There have been many reports of bears and leopards killing or mauling humans in different parts of the Kashmir valley in recent years.

    Three years ago, residents of Mandora village near the southern town of Tral, beat a black bear to death which had strayed into the village.
    Those terrorist villagers who harmed that bear will PAY DEARLY for assaulting one of God's favorite messengers of death.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22927

    #2
    Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

    More proof of the absolute truth and accuracy of the Bible, Pastor.

    La:3:1: I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
    [...]
    La:3:10: He was unto me as a bear lying in wait, and as a lion in secret places.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Ronald J. Tolerance
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Nov 2009
      • 5

      #3
      Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

      This remind me of this beautiful and inspiring verse: From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' they said. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. Bless you, bears! For you are just and god-fearing creatures

      Comment

      • Brother Enoch
        The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2008
        • 4392

        #4
        Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

        Oh Dear Lord!

        Being Canadian I've killed dozens upon dozens of bears in my time. Polar bears, black and brown bears, even two grizzlies. Man, they're good eating!

        I had no idea they were protecting my children from moonslime terrorists!

        Never again shall I kill one of these noble beasts with my .22.

        If I can't take him in hand-to-hand combat, he's free to go.

        Comment

        • Ronald J. Tolerance
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 5

          #5
          Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

          Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
          Oh Dear Lord!

          Being Canadian I've killed dozens upon dozens of bears in my time. Polar bears, black and brown bears, even two grizzlies. Man, they're good eating!

          I had no idea they were protecting my children from moonslime terrorists!

          Never again shall I kill one of these noble beasts with my .22.

          If I can't take him in hand-to-hand combat, he's free to go.
          Brother Avatar, i can assure you those bears in particular were sent either by agents of belzebub or the mudslaime false god.

          If you are both a servant of God and a servant of God, then the logic conclusion here is that you were simple being channeled by the Holy Spirit, and by that bringing proper punishment to those unholy, unclean bears who choose to follow the path of evil!

          Amen!

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #6
            Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

            You can kill a bear with a .22?
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Brother Enoch
              The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2008
              • 4392

              #7
              Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              You can kill a bear with a .22?
              It was too easy with my .270, not sporting.

              You've got to be good to kill a bear with a .22.

              Gotta make 'em all headshots.



              I only use my .270 on trespassers now.

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #8
                Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
                Gotta make 'em all headshots.
                I was under the impression that bears have thick skulls and that the only good shot is into the eye socket and thru to the brain. My father always said that if a bear is gnawing off your leg your only hope is to get the muzzle of your pistol into the eye and shoot the brains out.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Brother Enoch
                  The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 4392

                  #9
                  Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                  Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                  I was under the impression that bears have thick skulls and that the only good shot is into the eye socket and thru to the brain. My father always said that if a bear is gnawing off your leg your only hope is to get the muzzle of your pistol into the eye and shoot the brains out.
                  I save the eye shot for if the bear is actually close enough to get me. The challenge with the thick skull is to get 2 or 3 shots in the exact same spot on the skull to penetrate. Difficult, but not impossible for Canadians. We're taken on our first hunting trip (usaually after ducks or geese) and taught to fire a 12 guage shotgun at 3 years of age.

                  Broke my collarbone, but I fell in love with hunting on that day.

                  Comment

                  • Levi Jones
                    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                     
                    • Jul 2009
                    • 13930

                    #10
                    Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                    Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post

                    Things that never happened deleted.
                    This points strongly toward the sissyfied nature of the canuck. I will be praying that you increase your arsenal.

                    A .22 is a child's toy. A 12 gauge is not for a three year old! The .410 is much more appropriate.

                    The right tool for the right job!
                    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                    Comment

                    • Brother Enoch
                      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2008
                      • 4392

                      #11
                      Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                      Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                      This points strongly toward the sissyfied nature of the canuck. I will be praying that you increase your arsenal.

                      A .22 is a child's toy. A 12 gauge is not for a three year old! The .410 is much more appropriate.

                      The right tool for the right job!
                      Of course a .22 is a child's toy! That's the point. Anyone can kill a bear with a .270, even a woman! I want a challenge not a turkey shoot.

                      As for Canucks being sissyfied, you're not totally wrong. The city dwellers (90% of the pop.) are indeed libral weenies. But us rural folks still remember our roots. Our forefathers spent their days killing all manner of wildlife, injuns and frenchies. We haven't forgotten that proud heritage.

                      You go and blow away a bear with an M-16 if you want, big man. I prefer to meet nature head-on and let the best man win.

                      Comment

                      • Nobar King
                        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                        Christ's Guardian
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 23748

                        #12
                        Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                        Still, when I'm sleeping in my tent the last thing I want to have to do is jab my knife into some damn bear's eye socket when its trying to make a meal out of my extremities. I worry about that a lot when I'm camping. I've seen bear tracks, but they have never bothered me in my tent. We cook lots of beans. I think that helps.
                        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                        Comment

                        • Levi Jones
                          Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                          Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                          Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                           
                          • Jul 2009
                          • 13930

                          #13
                          Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                          Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post

                          Yack, yack, yip, yip, yip..
                          Are you going to stop lying anytime soon?
                          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                          Comment

                          • Nobar King
                            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                            Christ's Guardian
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2007
                            • 23748

                            #14
                            Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                            Are you guys arguing, now? This thread is about some Godly bears destroying our enemies (Islamofascists). We should be celebrating this minor victory together!
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • Brother Enoch
                              The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                              True Christian™
                              • Jun 2008
                              • 4392

                              #15
                              Re: Bears Support Freedom, Kill Taliban Terrorists

                              Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                              Are you going to stop lying anytime soon?
                              Watch it Levi.

                              You're dangerously close to making my list.

                              Comment

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