X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
  • Mrs. Rogers
    compassion personified
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2692
    #1

    Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

    Indeed, Laura Mallory is a woman after Gerald Allen's thoroughly heterosexual heart, but instead of rallying against the Pink Menace™ she has set her sights on Harry Potter books, books known for being "... an evil attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion"

    May God continue to guide your book-burning efforts, Mrs. Mallory!
    True Christians are Perfect!

    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
    Tags: None
    • Glendora Christianson
      Spiritual Mother of LBC
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2329
      #2
      Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

      Thank you so much for bringing Ms. Mallory to our attention, Mrs. Rogers. I feel for this gal as I'm sure many secular folks accuse her of being a raging lunatic. But our Lord Jesus Christ is smiling down upon Laura Mallory. And I never paid much attention to Harry Potter until I accidentally purchased some Harry Potter Jelly Beans. I thougt I had bought delightful Jelly Belly Jelly Beans until I bit down on a VOMIT flavored jelly bean. What kind of homer pervert is that Harry anyway? I will post the latest selection of Harry Potter's flavors, just to prove that Laura Mallory is right!

      Bacon, Black Pepper, Blueberry, Booger, Buttered Popcorn, Cherry, Cinnamon, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Grape Jelly, Grass, Green Apple, Lemon Drop, Rotten Egg, Sardine, Soap, Toasted Marshmellow, Tuti-Fruitti and Vomit.
      Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621
          #3
          Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

          Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
          And I never paid much attention to Harry Potter until I accidentally purchased some Harry Potter Jelly Beans. I thougt I had bought delightful Jelly Belly Jelly Beans until I bit down on a VOMIT flavored jelly bean. What kind of homer pervert is that Harry anyway? I will post the latest selection of Harry Potter's flavors, just to prove that Laura Mallory is right!

          Bacon, Black Pepper, Blueberry, Booger, Buttered Popcorn, Cherry, Cinnamon, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Grape Jelly, Grass, Green Apple, Lemon Drop, Rotten Egg, Sardine, Soap, Toasted Marshmellow, Tuti-Fruitti and Vomit.
          Why don't they just make "Satan's sperm" flavoured Harry Potter jelly beans? His fans might as well get used to the taste now.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • robert12345
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Oct 2006
              • 69
              #4
              Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

              I didn't know they actually make those.

              I think Bible and the Koran are the only books suitable for banishment.

                Comment

                • Brother Temperance
                  Senior Usher
                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                  A very nice young man
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15621
                  #5
                  Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                  Originally posted by robert12345 View Post
                  I didn't know they actually make those.

                  I think Bible and the Koran are the only books suitable for banishment.
                  I think you seem suspiciously like a member who may be suitable for banishment.
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Isaac Peters
                      Senior Pastor
                      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                      Always Biblically correct
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 10639
                      #6
                      Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                      Originally posted by robert12345 View Post
                      I didn't know they actually make those.

                      I think Bible and the Koran are the only books suitable for banishment.
                      Oh, so now the truth comes out. You think it's okay for kids to read those Harry Potter witchcraft manuals, but not the Holy King James Bible. May I quote you on that the next time the unsaved claim that Christians aren't persecuted?
                      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                      sigpic

                        Comment

                        • Bobby-Joe
                          Landover Security Superviser
                          Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                          NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 18405
                          #7
                          Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                          Originally posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
                          Oh, so now the truth comes out. You think it's okay for kids to read those Harry Potter witchcraft manuals, but not the Holy King James Bible. May I quote you on that the next time the unsaved claim that Christians aren't persecuted?
                          Excellent point Brother. Now we see the truth of the secular humanist; endless persecution of Christians for just following their faith. This Robert12345 character would be more comfortable goose stepping down the street with the Nazis than in a free country like America.

                          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                          Hot Must ReadThreads!


                          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                            Comment

                            • Brother Temperance
                              Senior Usher
                              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                              A very nice young man
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 15621
                              #8
                              Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                              Excellent point Brother. Now we see the truth of the secular humanist; endless persecution of Christians for just following their faith. This Robert12345 character would be more comfortable goose stepping down the street with the Nazis than in a free country like America.
                              Hmm... wants to stop people reading the Bible... admires the Nazis... I fear he may be a Mary-Worshipper.
                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                Comment

                                • Berto R.
                                  Unsaved trash
                                   
                                  • Oct 2006
                                  • 27
                                  #9
                                  Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                  Hmm... wants to stop people reading the Bible... admires the Nazis... I fear he may be a Mary-Worshipper.
                                  Just for the record: The Holy Roman Catholic Church strongly opposes Harry Potter books.

                                  Harry Potter is a an extremely interesting and exiting book that helps many children going trough tough times. So it's practically equal to Bible.

                                  No book should ever be banned.

                                    Comment

                                    • Bobby-Joe
                                      Landover Security Superviser
                                      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 18405
                                      #10
                                      Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                      Originally posted by Berto R. View Post
                                      Just for the record: The Holy Roman Catholic Church strongly opposes Harry Potter books.
                                      Stopped watches are right twice a day.

                                      Harry Potter is a an extremely interesting and exiting book that helps many children going trough tough times. So it's practically equal to Bible.
                                      Helping them to what? Witchcraft and sodomy! In otherwords a big helping of Satan's tallywacker. Some help sinner.

                                      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                      Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                                        Comment

                                        • Berto R.
                                          Unsaved trash
                                           
                                          • Oct 2006
                                          • 27
                                          #11
                                          Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                          Helping them to what? Witchcraft and sodomy! In otherwords a big helping of Satan's tallywacker. Some help sinner.
                                          It helps them get trough emotional problems.

                                            Comment

                                            • Brother Temperance
                                              Senior Usher
                                              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                              A very nice young man
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Sep 2006
                                              • 15621
                                              #12
                                              Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                              Originally posted by Berto R. View Post
                                              It helps them get trough emotional problems.
                                              Friend, you and your emo buddies may find that casting demonic spells using techniques you learned from Harry Potter is good for a giggle, but only JESUS can bring you true happiness.
                                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                                Comment

                                                • Berto R.
                                                  Unsaved trash
                                                   
                                                  • Oct 2006
                                                  • 27
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                                  Friend, you and your emo buddies may find that casting demonic spells using techniques you learned from Harry Potter is good for a giggle, but only JESUS can bring you true happiness.
                                                  It is a known fact that books like Harry Potter or the Bible have anti depressive effect.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
                                                      Scientific Advisor
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 2373
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                                      Sir how dare you compare the perfect word of the Lord with such witchcraft as Hairy Potter?! Sir, I am recommending that you receive warning-points for this terrible infraction, and I will be reporting you to the Department of Faith.
                                                      Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Pastor Isaac Peters
                                                          Senior Pastor
                                                          Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                                                          Always Biblically correct
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Sep 2006
                                                          • 10639
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Concerned mother calls for the banning of Harry Potter books

                                                          Originally posted by Berto R. View Post
                                                          It is a known fact that books like Harry Potter or the Bible have anti depressive effect.
                                                          It is a known fact that only one of them has any anti-damnation effect.
                                                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                                                          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                                                          sigpic

                                                            Comment

                                                            Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                                                            Working...