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  • News with a "Feel-Good" Factor - Brazilians help Savages

    To publicize a move of unprecedented generosity, the Brazilian Government’s Department of Public Safety and Truth has released this picture showing Special Forces troops interacting with members of the Kayapó tribe - an Indian people of the Amazon region in Brazil's Mato Grosso.

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    The Junglies had been complaining that they had no electricity for their eco-friendly Chevvy Volts, iPads, etc., and asked if the government could do something about it.

    No sooner had Minister for Native Affairs, Snr Albrecht Mengele, heard this than he opened his treasury and promised the Indian savages all the electricity they wanted! He even promised them a huge dam on their land! Not only that – but he promised them that after their homeland had been re-designated as a lake, they might well have real houses and a genuine chance to enter Brazil’s growing labor market, perhaps as stock market analysts, or hedge-fund managers or auto mechanics or… well, as Snr Mengele said, “the list must be as endless as the job opportunities themselves.”

    Landover is proud to be associated with the scheme and we have been tasked with teaching the Gospel to the now opportunity-rich natives, particularly those passages relating to How God Looks after His Own and He never gives you more than you can bear.

    The picture shows a member of the Brazilian Special Forces gently restraining an over-enthiusiastic native, whose sanity was temporarily overwhelmed by Snr Mengele’s generosity and understanding. We are told that the native was later given a much-sought-after place in a state-of-the-art institution for rehabilitation, where he will embark on a 14 year intensive, Christian-based, course to remove any vestiges of heathenism or unacceptable "nativeness".

    "We know these guys are happy but we want them to be able to express it properly, otherwise they become frustrated." said Snr Mengele

    Landover, True Christianity™ and The Brazilian Government – a Winning, Caring Combination.

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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: News with a "Feel-Good" Factor - Brazilians help Savages

    We are told that the native was later given a much-sought-after place in a state-of-the-art institution for rehabilitation, where he will embark on a 14 year intensive, Christian-based, course to remove any vestiges of heathenism or unacceptable "nativeness".
    Will it be possible to change his eye color? Those indigenous sorts have almost black eyes--blue is so much, you know, more Christian.
    Come climb my mountains.

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    • #3
      Re: News with a "Feel-Good" Factor - Brazilians help Savages

      It's refreshing to see a government helping people instead of hurting people (like the regime we currently have).



      Yours in Christ,

      Zech
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