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  • A Short but Meaningful Sermon

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    This is a message that needs to be received, as all too often we see the flower of our youth laid prostrate before the altar of young, nubile women arrayed in the most provocative of garments, hardly covering a square foot of their body, parts of their breasts visible for all to see, and not only their ankles, but also their calves (and in some cases knees and higher!)

    These young harlots are predators waiting to seize a man – any man – and they work their lustful ways upon him, which, in these days of liberal parenting, is all too easy. Mark my words gentlemen: it is takes no effort for that God-fearing young man to be diverted from a Sunday service by the prospect of such a woman.

    This leads directly to a loss of Godliness within our nation, as any off-spring - learning from their parents – will likewise never be taught the ways of Christ because the couple, locked almost permanently in a degraded form of animal passions, will care little for the souls of their infants on a Sabbath morning.

    We will then become a weak and backward nation, unable to turn a good day’s work for a fair day’s pay, and much given to the sins of the flesh and other abominations.

    If we wish to root out evil and disobedience to God, the cause of all troubles in the world, here is the primary cause.

    I am reminded of Sam Kingsman, now departed.

    Sam was a farmer, a son of the soil. But he was led astray back in 1939 by Josie Luseways, a young thing with flowing raven locks, eye as blue as the sky, a face like an angel and possessed of a body that would make that angel’s head turn at 500 yards. And, as if it were needed to embellish the gifts of God, Josie Luseways, wore clothes that made more than much of those blessings.

    Sam, then little more than 25, had his head turn so fast, it was remarkable that the thing didn’t come right off and sit there in the dirt with its mouth open. They were wed within weeks, exactly in accordance with that girl’s plan, and from then on little was seen of them at church of a weekend.

    The years passed, and no little soldiers for Christ appeared but it was noted that Josie Luseways had a permanent smile on her face and Sam Kingsman started to wear glasses. Oh yes! It seemed like they were trying for kids but the women hereabouts had their own opinions.

    The years passed and Sam was now no longer a young man. He still plowed his fields and Josie still kept house. But the truth came out in the late 80’s at the inquest.

    Sam had been in town the year before to see Doc Mengele. The Doc gave evidence that Sam had ‘a weakness below’ and was only irregularly able to perform conjugal rights. The doc. explained how Sam had told him that, while plowing the fields, something in his (that is Sam’s, not the doctor’s) loins had stirred and an urge had come over him. He ran across the muddy fields towards the house waving and hollering. Sam reported that on arrival, Josie had stared at him in amazement when he cried out, “Upstairs, woman!” and by the time he had explained and a few petticoats were dispensed of, the urge had gone and sadly, with the words, “Woman, if you ever see me running towards the house waving and hollering, get up them stairs!”

    The doc, always a sage man, saw through this and discerned the solution. Sam, now past 70, was to read all he could about the Patriarch Abraham, whose wife, Sarah gave birth at the age of 100 years: this would provide spiritual power to his usually flaccid member.

    Doc Mengele stepped down from the stand and his place was taken by Micah Brown.

    Micah gave evidence that he had been in the field on the day in question talking to Sam when Sam directed Micah’s gaze to the farmhouse which was in flames. Sam instructed Micah to run to the road and flag down a vehicle to get the news that the fire service should attend, while he, Sam, would run to the house to get Josie out.

    Micah said that as he stopped a vehicle, he saw Sam running towards the house, waving and hollering.

    Micah then returned to the farm, now well ablaze. He fought his way into the inferno and heard Sam's shouting, "Get your clothes on you sex-mad woman! The house is on fire!"

    It was all very sad, but Satan had reaped a harvest of two souls a mere 50 years after the pair took their first steps on the path to perdition.

    Let it be a lesson to us all, and may the words on the trailer be heeded.
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: A Short but Meaningful Sermon

    As a woman, this is very true! Too often, women are sex-driven slaves of Satan!
    "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

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