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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22875

    #1

    Lion Mauls Dwarves!

    Nephew Zebulun sent me an email this morning – I knew it was from him as his emails always trigger the computer to play Drop Kick Me Jesus and I don’t know how to stop this!

    Anyway, this is the link he sent: Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight
    Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion
    Tickets had been sold-out three weeks before the much anticipated fight, which took place in the city of Kâmpóng Chhnãng.

    The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters.

    Sihamoni takes great pride in the league he helped create, as was conveyed in his recent advertising campaign for the CMFL that stated his midgets will "... take on anything; man, beast, or machine."

    This campaign is believed to be what sparked the undisclosed fan to challenge the entire league to fight a lion; a challenge that Sihamoni readily accepted.

    An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kâmpóng Chhnãng especially for the event, which took place last Saturday, April 30, 2005 in the city’s coliseum.

    The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena.

    The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

    Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

    Unfortunately, he was wrong.
    As usual, the story is thought-provoking. We have the story of a prophet, who was slain by a lion sent by God because the prophet had been tricked into disobedience - 1Kings:13.


    Also we have
    Leviticus 21:16 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
    21:17 Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
    21:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
    21:19 Or a man that is broken-footed, or broken-handed,
    21:20 Or crookbacked, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

    Now we compare the lion story with Samson as a boy
    14:5 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
    14:6 And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

    So here we have the solution and why the True Christian would have bet on the lion and not the dwarves, even if there had been a multitude of the little devils.

    The old man of Bethel disobeyed God, the dwarves are lesser beings in the eyes of God, and godless foreigners, but it only takes a boy, with the support of God, to slaughter a lion.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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    • Jun 2008
    • 37

    #2
    Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

    Animals slaughtering forty-two youths? 2 Kings 2:24, anybody?

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22875

      #3
      Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

      Remarkable!
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • Daisy Mae Johnson
        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15708

        #4
        Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

        GOD smites them all the time in strange and terrible ways!

        GULP!

        GLORY!
        Attached Files
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        Tweet me Here
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        Comment

        • Sledge Riprock
          The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
          Forum Member
          • Aug 2008
          • 188

          #5
          Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
          GOD smites them all the time in strange and terrible ways!

          GULP!

          GLORY!
          What do suppose the hippo did to anger The Lord, I mean being forced to swallow an Abomination as Filthy as a Gook Dwarf? Yuck!
          A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

          Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
          sigpic
          A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

          Comment

          • Bama_Girl
            Damnable Atheist Feminazi
             
            • Nov 2006
            • 58

            #6
            Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

            So many christians, so few lions.

            I would pay a LOT to watch a lion or two eat some of you people. That would be too funny! A sold-out event it would be as well! GLORY as you like to say.

            Comment

            • Ahimaaz Smith
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2007
              • 2549

              #7
              Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

              Originally posted by Bama_Girl View Post
              So many christians, so few lions.

              I would pay a LOT to watch a lion or two eat some of you people. That would be too funny! A sold-out event it would be as well! GLORY as you like to say.
              No True Christian™ has even been killed by a lion, and it will never happen. Remember the Book of Daniel, in which Daniel was thrown into the lion's den, but protected by an angel of the Lord:

              My God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths, that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king, have I done no hurt. Daniel 6:16

              Yes, GLORY!

              Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25

              Comment

              • Sister Rebecca
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 390

                #8
                Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

                Originally posted by Bama_Girl View Post
                So many christians, so few lions.

                I would pay a LOT to watch a lion or two eat some of you people. That would be too funny! A sold-out event it would be as well! GLORY as you like to say.
                You know, Pastors, this isn't actually a bad idea. We could have all of Freehold's residents put out flyers and invitations via the internets and get as many false Christians as possible to come to a "lion taming" event. Put it out there that "if you think are Christian enough that the lions won't harm you, step right up!" I think it would be a delightful way to spend a few hours. Watching the lions rip the falsies to shreds while the rest of us TC's remain unscathed. It would get rid of quite a few falsies, and it would make God happy as well that we are doing His work! GLORY!!
                Jesus is watching you masturbate.

                Nunquam concumbo dutch puellus intra clunis.

                numquam futuis, puer Batavica ad te asinus praesepe

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748

                  #9
                  Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

                  Why did they call the fight? Weren't the dwarves already prepared to fight to the death?
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • Rev. M. Rodimer
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 13996

                    #10
                    Re: Lion Mauls Dwarves!

                    Originally posted by O'Bama_Girl View Post
                    So many christians, so few lions.

                    I would pay a LOT to watch a lion or two eat some of you people. That would be too funny! A sold-out event it would be as well! GLORY as you like to say.
                    Are all you O'Bama fans so violent and hateful?
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

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