Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

[Johny Joe Hold]

I've been busy this month down at the State Capitol building. There are two wonderful bills in play at the legislature. They both ban the marketing of "cage free eggs."

It upsets me that small farmers are now raising a fuss about how big profitable farms produce eggs. Big farmers, Republicans, know what is best for the public. It is cheap eggs.

The cheapest eggs come from big farms where the hens in live tiny cages. The hens stay in the cages during their egg-laying careers and then become chicken soup.

The problem comes when liberal young farmers think hens are happier walking around and scratching. Then, they get to advertise "cage free eggs" on the egg cartons. The bills I'm working one will prevent the phrase from appearing on egg cartons. This is in keeping with our Republican passion for less government. I urge your support.

https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/opinion/columnists/iowa-view/2018/02/20/iowa-legislature-tell-grocers-what-kind-eggs-they-can-sell/355510002/

[handmaiden]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

Okay. . . now I don't want to sound insensitive to the purpose of the bill, but do eggs really need cages?

It's not like they can escape by rolling themselves away, so why cage them?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

I think the question is

“Do we believe God (Ge:1:28) or the small peasant farmer?”

And we may well go on to ask

“Was the Bible written by stupid, small-minded, primitive, uneducated peasants, or was it written by noble handsome men inspired directly by the Lord – men who were amply blessed with riches and a natural wisdom and who spoke in well-modulated but authoritative tones?”

From this flows the question,

“If the rich and successful wish to obey the Lord and spread wealth and happiness and provide little children with bellies full of nutritious eggs, should we attempt to stop them?”

Finally

“Hens? Hens? Have they suddenly got “rights”? Another “pressure group?”

No, Mayor! You have it right, and so does the charming Mrs Higgins on the page you linked to.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

Okay. . . now I don't want to sound insensitive to the purpose of the bill, but do eggs really need cages?
It's not like they can escape by rolling themselves away, so why cage them?

Sister Handmaiden--It's simple rational management of egg production. The hens need to be in cages so their eggs roll into one place. It is fast and cheap to collect the eggs and ship them to stores.

The brainless chickens are very happy.

[handmaiden]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

Sister Handmaiden--It's simple rational management of egg production. The hens need to be in cages so their eggs roll into one place. It is fast and cheap to collect the eggs and ship them to stores.

The brainless chickens are very happy.

Oh, thank you for explaining it to me, Brother Mayor! I sorta had an image of an egg with little feet sticking out, but I knew that was silly. If the chick's head is still encased by the shell, it can't really see where it's going afterall.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

If it's one thing I can't stand is that Republicans are constantly under attack from the LIEberals and MSM for not "believing" in "science". Now we are confronted with the notion that these "cage free" chickens are "happier", and I would like to ask just where is the "science" here - how did these hipster farmers determine that these chickens are actually "happier", and are the eggs any better?

So I suppose they might have taken a survey or a poll - like these hippies are talking to the chickens? Is there a "happiness" test for chickens? Maybe they're measuring clucks per hour - like that's some kind of indication of "happy" chickens?

So let me guess what they're going to say - its "settled science". More likely they're just using it as an excuse to charge outrageous amounts of money for these "cage free eggs" while committing fraud on the American public - and that's why we need laws banning it.

[handmaiden]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

Umm . . . I am still kinda confused here. Are we talking about "happy" chickens or "happy" eggs?

Who really cares? What's the difference either way? Why is this important? And finally, which came first?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

So I suppose they might have taken a survey or a poll - like these hippies are talking to the chickens? Is there a "happiness" test for chickens? Maybe they're measuring clucks per hour - like that's some kind of indication of "happy" chickens?

You are so right about liberals who think they know about "chicken happiness." I want tell liberals this, explain to the chickens that when they are in their safe cages they will not be killed by eagles and foxes. That will make them happy.

[Gravel Road]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

And finally, which came first?

It was very obviously the chicken (Gen 1:21-22).

[Didymus Much]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

It was very obviously the chicken (Gen 1:21-22).

Ooooh, showing up the TC™. Good job.


Enjoy your infraction.

[handmaiden]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

It was very obviously the chicken (Gen 1:21-22).

Duh. I wasn't asking if God laid an egg which later became a chicken. God is obviously a mammal, sheesh!


What I want to understand is whether the so-called liberal scientists think that happy eggs make for happy chickens. Or do we have to provide manicures for the chickens in order to secure happy eggs that don't make a fuss about being caged?


How dumb are you?

[Dana723]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

Okay. . . now I don't want to sound insensitive to the purpose of the bill, but do eggs really need cages?

It's not like they can escape by rolling themselves away, so why cage them?

A valid question, one which I was going to ask as well.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

As most people know, I have a large farm.On this farm we have lots of animals. None ever smile. Even when I told one of my knee slapper jokes, even the that retard boy that shovels the outhouse droppings out laughs (though admittedly, he is always laughing (or crying, who can tell).
I think lesser creatures like being in confined spaces where they might get a sense of security and protection for the outside world.

Proverbs 27:8
As a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place.

Do you see a smile or a frown?

I see dinner.

Psalm 91
1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

As a person with certification by mail - OFFICIAL US MAIL, mind you, in veterinary sciences no less, I can tell you that NOT ONE PLACE in my studies did I ever see anything about free-roaming hens being happier than those in tight, restrictive, feces-filled cages. Consider the female human. If you allow a silly woman to roam free, what happens? Pregnancy, drug use, methamphetamine addiction, bad makeup, and poor choices in hair styles. Not one of these things glorify God, and that is why we are all here.


We have dominion over the animals. Who said so? NO LESS THAN THE LORD OUR GOD, may His Name be magnified. It is, therefore, our choice to allow hens to roam free and make bad choices or keep them caged (as we should our human females). I am tempted to boycott eggs completely until this is resolved in the Republicans' favor. One of the grocery stores in my area, D'Agostino's, run by lieberal Italian mafia, supports cage-free egg farms. Damn dago criminals. I choose, therefore, to shop elsewhere, where the owners don't give a good piffle about cages. This is going on my prayer list, Mr. Mayor. Keep fighting the good fight and keep bringing up causes that cause the public to forget about that whole Russian nonsense.


BrotherLarry

[handmaiden]

Re: Support the Ban on Cage Free Eggs

As a person with certification by mail - OFFICIAL US MAIL, mind you, in veterinary sciences no less, I can tell you that NOT ONE PLACE in my studies did I ever see anything about free-roaming hens being happier than those in tight, restrictive, feces-filled cages. Consider the female human. If you allow a silly woman to roam free, what happens? Pregnancy, drug use, methamphetamine addiction, bad makeup, and poor choices in hair styles. Not one of these things glorify God, and that is why we are all here.

All here in one picture.






At least the chickens would have a place to lay eggs.