[JennyD]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Have no fear, remember we have Project Gaydar that measures the biometrics of visitors to unmask sodomites attempting to penetrate Freehold? Ant no gay man slipping by this boy's watch. We are all over them!

Brother B-J, what am I going to do?

The Monthly Visitor is outside of town (per Freehold's CC&Rs), and filled to the brim with menstruating women! You KNOW how lesbians lust after their "red wings" . . . The whordes will be storming the front door in no time!

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

This is terrible news! You know the queers are dancing in the streets more than usual in Des Moines (aka Sodom on the Prairie)!

I blame Obama. And Clinton-era activist judges. And the climate of liberalism among those fat cat politicians down in Des Moines.

On a completely unrelated and happier note, my son Joshua called me a few minutes ago from California to say that he might actually come to visit Delores and me for the first time in seven or eight years. Poor Joshua has been very busy with his work in the dairy industry at the Milk Institute in San Francisco-- it will be nice that he and a co-worker can take some time off and visit us!!

[Bob4God]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Sister Jenny, we might be able to work something out and send a few of our fat boys down to sit on the porch at the Monthly Visitor with shotguns and gasmasks.

I think you ought to establish an all-out ban on flannel shirts and coffee at the Monthly Visitor, to avoid attracting lesbian truckers.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Brother B-J, what am I going to do?

The Monthly Visitor is outside of town (per Freehold's CC&Rs), and filled to the brim with menstruating women! You KNOW how lesbians lust after their "red wings" . . . The whordes will be storming the front door in no time!

Well Sister, menstruation is a lifestyle choice so you and your guests will have to live with the consequences. Mrs Roberts says she's been able to kick the "M"ing habit so maybe you should talk to her?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Have no fear, remember we have Project Gaydar that measures the biometrics of visitors to unmask sodomites attempting to penetrate Freehold? Ant no gay man slipping by this boy's watch. We are all over them!

I've heard that those gays will do almost anything to get married – even to the point of cutting off their tallywhackers and becoming transsexuals.

We may have to put a moratorium on all marriages until we can get this sorted out.

[JennyD]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Sister Jenny, we might be able to work something out and send a few of our fat boys down to sit on the porch at the Monthly Visitor with shotguns and gasmasks.

I think you ought to establish an all-out ban on flannel shirts and coffee at the Monthly Visitor, to avoid attracting lesbian truckers.

I appreciate that, Brother B4G.

The ladies staying at The Monthly Visitor are generally platinum tithers and above, Brother. They don't even know what flannel looks like!

I'm more concerned about the male sodomites being attracted to all the silks.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

I trust everyone has hazmat suits at the ready. The AIDS will be flying thick in the air until this abomination of the activist liberal courts is fixed by REAL Americans!

[JennyD]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

The first wave came just now, Brothers and Sisters! Be ready!

A pickup truck rolled up outside, with four flannel-clad, short-haired women in the back and three in the cab. It was awful, it smelled as though they'd not washed their ladyparts in months!

Well, they said they were looking for a room for the night, and how relieved they were to find a "family" establishment so near Freehold. I immediately explained that my lodging is for women only, not for families. Butch #1 laughed out loud and said, "That's not what we mean, dear. We mean, you know, the kind of place that welcomes WYMYN like us!"

"Oh, were you all cast out by your husbands because it was your unclean time of the month? Yes, I suppose we do tend to become like family when we can't be around any of our menfolk."

"HUSBANDS? Honey, we ain't got no HUSBANDS. We like the ladies . . . 'specially purty little things like yerself."

Well, with that I became acutely aware that their eyes were resting on certain parts of my body which I do not appreciate being stared at. I realized that these were not even women I'd send over to the Don't Drip Inn. "You're . . . LESBIANS!"

Fortunately, Sister Mary Maria had just finished looking over my ever-unruly bush out back, and she came running when she heard "the L word".

Brandishing her .38, Sister cried out, "Begone, in the name of Jesus! If Jenny wants her carpet cleaned, she'll call Rug Doctor!"

Well, those butches high-tailed it out of there, let me tell you!

Be prepared . . . they're on the way!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Well, the stormclouds are gathering over our fair state. THIS latest story says that as of Sunday, April 24, sodomites will be able to mock us Normal people by getting a marriage license. Included in the story are actual photographs of actual queers in our once Christian state of Iowa. Ladies, avert your eyes.

Gay marriages expected to begin in Iowa April 24

DES MOINES, Iowa – Gay marriage, seemingly the province of the nation's two coasts, is just weeks away from becoming legal in the heartland and apparently it will be years before social conservatives have a chance to stop it.

The Iowa Supreme Court on Friday unanimously upheld a lower-court ruling that rejected a state law restricting marriage to a union between a man and woman. Now gays and lesbians may exchange vows as soon as April 24 following the landmark decision.

The county attorney who defended the law said he would not seek a rehearing. The only recourse for opponents appeared to be a constitutional amendment, which couldn't get on the ballot until 2012 at the earliest.

"I would say the mood is one of mourning right now in a lot of ways," said a dejected Bryan English, spokesman for the Iowa Family Policy Center, a conservative group that opposes same-sex marriage.

In the meantime, same-sex marriage opponents may try to enact residency requirements for marriage so that gays and lesbians from across the country could not travel to Iowa to wed.

U.S. Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, urged the Legislature to do so, saying he feared without residency requirements Iowa would "become the gay marriage mecca."

Only Massachusetts and Connecticut currently permit same-sex marriage. For six months last year, California's high court allowed gay marriage before voters banned it in November.

For gays and lesbians, meanwhile, the day was one of jubilation. The Vermont House of Representatives also passed a measure Friday that would allow same-sex couples to wed, on a 94-52 roll call vote, just short of the two-thirds majority needed to override a promised veto by Gov. Jim Douglas.

Gay marriage supporters hoped to convince a few Vermont legislators to switch when it comes to the override vote, which could be taken as soon as Tuesday.

In Iowa, hundreds cheered, waved rainbow flags and shed tears of joy at rallies in seven cities Friday evening. "Corn-fed and Ready to Wed!" read one man's sign at a gathering at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls.

In downtown Des Moines, about 300 people gathered beneath rainbow flags to celebrate including Des Moines Mayor Frank Cownie.

Gay marriages expected to begin in Iowa April 24
By AMY LORENTZEN, Associated Press Writer Amy Lorentzen, Associated Press Writer
2 hrs 6 mins ago

DES MOINES, Iowa – Gay marriage, seemingly the province of the nation's two coasts, is just weeks away from becoming legal in the heartland and apparently it will be years before social conservatives have a chance to stop it.

The Iowa Supreme Court on Friday unanimously upheld a lower-court ruling that rejected a state law restricting marriage to a union between a man and woman. Now gays and lesbians may exchange vows as soon as April 24 following the landmark decision.

The county attorney who defended the law said he would not seek a rehearing. The only recourse for opponents appeared to be a constitutional amendment, which couldn't get on the ballot until 2012 at the earliest.

"I would say the mood is one of mourning right now in a lot of ways," said a dejected Bryan English, spokesman for the Iowa Family Policy Center, a conservative group that opposes same-sex marriage.

In the meantime, same-sex marriage opponents may try to enact residency requirements for marriage so that gays and lesbians from across the country could not travel to Iowa to wed.

U.S. Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, urged the Legislature to do so, saying he feared without residency requirements Iowa would "become the gay marriage mecca."

Only Massachusetts and Connecticut currently permit same-sex marriage. For six months last year, California's high court allowed gay marriage before voters banned it in November.

For gays and lesbians, meanwhile, the day was one of jubilation. The Vermont House of Representatives also passed a measure Friday that would allow same-sex couples to wed, on a 94-52 roll call vote, just short of the two-thirds majority needed to override a promised veto by Gov. Jim Douglas.

Gay marriage supporters hoped to convince a few Vermont legislators to switch when it comes to the override vote, which could be taken as soon as Tuesday.

In Iowa, hundreds cheered, waved rainbow flags and shed tears of joy at rallies in seven cities Friday evening. "Corn-fed and Ready to Wed!" read one man's sign at a gathering at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls.

In downtown Des Moines, about 300 people gathered beneath rainbow flags to celebrate including Des Moines Mayor Frank Cownie.

"We finally have equality in Iowa," said Harold Delaria, of Des Moines, who attended the rally and has two gay children. "It's kind of the last wall of legalized discrimination and it's coming tumbling down."

The Rev. Diane McLanahan of Trinity United Methodist Church in Des Moines acknowledged that many people of faith won't agree with the ruling. With that in mind, she said the court has reached a decision that "pretty much insists that this will not be a debate about religious rights but a matter of equality and fairness."

In its ruling, the Supreme Court upheld an August 2007 decision by a judge who found that a state law limiting marriage to a man and a woman violates the constitutional rights of equal protection.

Iowa lawmakers have "excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification," the justices wrote.

To issue any other decision, the seven justices said, "would be an abdication of our constitutional duty."

At a news conference announcing the decision, plaintiff Kate Varnum, 34, introduced her partner, Trish Varnum, as "my fiance."

"I never thought I'd be able to say that," she said, fighting back tears.

Jason Morgan, 38, said he and his partner, Chuck Swaggerty, adopted two sons, confronted the death of Swaggerty's mother and endured a four-year legal battle as plaintiffs.

"If being together though all of that isn't love and commitment or isn't family or marriage, then I don't know what is," Morgan said. "We are very happy with the decision today and very proud to live in Iowa."

Iowa has a history of being in the forefront on social issues. It was among the first states to legalize interracial marriage and to allow married women to own property. It was also the first state to admit a woman to the bar to practice law and was a leader in school desegregation.

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, a Democrat, said state lawmakers were unlikely to consider gay marriage legislation in this legislative session, which is expected to end within weeks.

Gronstal also said he's "not inclined" to propose a constitutional amendment during next year's session. Without a vote by the Legislature this year or next, the soonest gay marriage could be repealed would be 2014.

Amendments to Iowa's constitution must be passed by the House and Senate in two consecutive general assemblies, which each last two years, and then approved by a simple majority of voters during a general election.

Iowa's Democratic governor, Chet Culver, said he would review the decision before announcing his views.

"We finally have equality in Iowa," said Harold Delaria, of Des Moines, who attended the rally and has two gay children. "It's kind of the last wall of legalized discrimination and it's coming tumbling down."

The Rev. Diane McLanahan of Trinity United Methodist Church in Des Moines acknowledged that many people of faith won't agree with the ruling. With that in mind, she said the court has reached a decision that "pretty much insists that this will not be a debate about religious rights but a matter of equality and fairness."

In its ruling, the Supreme Court upheld an August 2007 decision by a judge who found that a state law limiting marriage to a man and a woman violates the constitutional rights of equal protection.

Iowa lawmakers have "excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification," the justices wrote.

To issue any other decision, the seven justices said, "would be an abdication of our constitutional duty."

At a news conference announcing the decision, plaintiff Kate Varnum, 34, introduced her partner, Trish Varnum, as "my fiance."

"I never thought I'd be able to say that," she said, fighting back tears.

Jason Morgan, 38, said he and his partner, Chuck Swaggerty, adopted two sons, confronted the death of Swaggerty's mother and endured a four-year legal battle as plaintiffs.

"If being together though all of that isn't love and commitment or isn't family or marriage, then I don't know what is," Morgan said. "We are very happy with the decision today and very proud to live in Iowa."

Iowa has a history of being in the forefront on social issues. It was among the first states to legalize interracial marriage and to allow married women to own property. It was also the first state to admit a woman to the bar to practice law and was a leader in school desegregation.

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, a Democrat, said state lawmakers were unlikely to consider gay marriage legislation in this legislative session, which is expected to end within weeks.

Gronstal also said he's "not inclined" to propose a constitutional amendment during next year's session. Without a vote by the Legislature this year or next, the soonest gay marriage could be repealed would be 2014.

Amendments to Iowa's constitution must be passed by the House and Senate in two consecutive general assemblies, which each last two years, and then approved by a simple majority of voters during a general election.

Iowa's Democratic governor, Chet Culver, said he would review the decision before announcing his views.

[Nobar King]

Re: Iowa rules gay marriage ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

This is an April Fools' joke, right?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: DesMoines Supports Queer Marriage

In Iowa, hundreds cheered, waved rainbow flags and shed tears of joy at rallies in seven cities Friday evening. "Corn-fed and Ready to Wed!" read one man's sign at a gathering at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls.

Sweet merciful Jesus do these sinners have no shame at last?

[Bob4God]

Re: DesMoines Supports Queer Marriage

All hope is not lost, as my phone has been ringing off the hook as a result of so many families desiring to purchase brand new firearms to protect themselves and their behinds. I am going to have to place an additional order to Smith and Wesson and Winchester to fulfill all the new needs of those who are still GODly and care about their state! (And their behinds.)

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: DesMoines Supports Queer Marriage

All hope is not lost, as my phone has been ringing off the hook as a result of so many families desiring to purchase brand new firearms to protect themselves and their behinds. I am going to have to place an additional order to Smith and Wesson and Winchester to fulfill all the new needs of those who are still GODly and care about their state! (And their behinds.)

Bob, will you be extending the same courtesy to other True Christians™ that you extended to me the other day? I don't want to say too much, but I saved a bundle of money and saved a lot of time on the "paperwork" too!

[Bob4God]

Re: DesMoines Supports Queer Marriage

Bob, will you be extending the same courtesy to other True Christians™ that you extended to me the other day? I don't want to say too much, but I saved a bundle of money and saved a lot of time on the "paperwork" too!

Well it IS possible that there will be some very great bargains to be found at FREEHOLD FIREARMS this next week by certain customers.

I hope you enjoy your new tactical shotgun and that it keeps you safe in the cockpit!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: DesMoines Supports Queer Marriage

I guess THIS ruling means you can marry your tractor or your dog or your 6 year old daughter if you want to.

Pastor, you have always been able to do this in Iowa...