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  • #1

    Birth Announcement

    I am pleased to announce that Mr. Whitford's wife (sister Mary Maria, the former whore for papism), has given birth to fraternal twins.

    Mr. Whitford's adored and beloved son, Joseph Ezekiel Whitford Jr., a healthy 7lb 9oz bouncing baby boy, is doing fine.

    Mr. Whitford was at work at the time, and is also doing fine.





    Oh, and a daughter was apparently born as well.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Birth Announcement

    Congratulations to Mr Whitford

    Bad luck on it only being a daughter.

    Also, please say "Hi" to your Wife.

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Birth Announcement

      Plus one, minus one, so no one has lost really. The girl child will be useful in the upbringing of her brother.

      My best whises to Mr Whitford.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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      • #4
        Re: Birth Announcement

        To bad it was a girl but Congratulations Mr.WhitFord and Wonderful Sister Mary Maria I wish you both the best of Luck

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        • #5
          Re: Birth Announcement

          Better than just one girl, I suppose. She'll have her brother to protect her virtue and innocence.
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Birth Announcement

            That's quite the blessing!
            A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

            Psalm 139:19-20
            Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
            For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Birth Announcement

              I'm sure if she's as lovely as Sister M&Ms, she'll fetch a good price when she's about 16!

              And congratulations, Mr. Whitford, on your bouncing baby boy!

              M&Ms, hope you feel better soon. Or at least get back to work taking care of Mr. Whitford soon.
              www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
              Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

              Christian Ladies:
              Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

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              • #8
                Re: Birth Announcement

                God bless you all so much!

                I'm tired, but it's all been worth it for our wonderful gift from God, Mr. Joseph E. Whitford Jr! The boy is a complete delight!
                Wow, are they a lot of work though! Mr. Whitford already had to spank the other one due to her incessant crying. Before the bleeding hearts start whining, don't go crazy, he isn't going to start using a rod or belt for at least a year!
                Thank you all for the prayers and congratulations. When Pastor Deacon Fred told my husband, Mr. Whitford, that he can now start working on the next one for his quiverfull, Mr. Whitford let out a sigh of what could only be joy!

                Mr. Joseph Whitford Sr. begat Mr. Joseph Whitford Jr. PRAISE!
                Posted via Prayer

                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                Blogging for CHRIST!
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                • #9
                  Re: Birth Announcement

                  Sister, be sure to remind him not to shake little what's-her-name. She could end up just like that tragic Palin kid.


                  You know . . . Bristle!
                  www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                  Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                  Christian Ladies:
                  Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Birth Announcement

                    Congratulations Mr. Whitford! Way to go!

                    I hope you are doing fine and the episode was not too disruptive. I am sure you'll be pleased to get you home back to normal and will reap the benefit of the little soldier in a few more years.

                    Just so so know, The Hutchins compound is open to you if you feel a need to get away and take a much deserved break. Child birthing can take so much out of a man. Personally, all that screaming drives me up a wall. I find a even a pillow or duck tapes does not do enough to calm my nerves.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Birth Announcement

                      Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                      Sister, be sure to remind him not to shake little what's-her-name. She could end up just like that tragic Palin kid.


                      You know . . . Bristle!
                      Should of been named 'Gristle'.
                      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Birth Announcement

                        Congratulations on your new arrival! It's wonderful to see that you're now building an army unto the Lord. May your next baby be a boy as well!
                        Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                        in 2016

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                        • #13
                          Re: Birth Announcement

                          Congratulations on a son and heir! As for the other one, at least you will have someone else to scrub the floors when she learns to walk.
                          PRAISE!
                          Luke 5:31
                          And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

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                          • #14
                            Re: Birth Announcement

                            Congratulations, Mr. Whitford!!! You have been blessed!! Now comes the fun part-- getting right back to the business of making even more Soldiers for Christ!!!

                            P.S. Congratulations are also in order for Sister Mary Maria, as well. Job well done.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Birth Announcement

                              Congratulations on your two children...Here's hoping both your son and your daughter (yes, I acknowledged both of them) grow up to learn God's love, possibly leading you back home to Rome (I know you wouldn't be back in the convent, but you could still do well as a laywoman.)

                              My deepest prayers go out to you all!
                              ACTS 5:29
                              But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                              There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

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