[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

While I don't believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy, you're sadly mistaken if you think Chimpy McFlightsuit (aka Dubya) is actually in charge. He's a puppet, A figurehead, no more. Men like Cheney are the ones actually pulling the strings in his party.

No, I don't think 9/11 was a conspiracy hatched by our own government. I was accused by the dear pastor of believing that.
And it's obvious to anyone with a working complement of brain cells that Shrubya barely has the mental faculties necesaary to wipe his own behind.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.

Friend, I'd advise you to spend less time worrying about who did or didn't fly an aeroplane into a tower full of liberal queers on 9/11 and a bit more worrying why the Jews and Freemasons are trying to trick you into believing the LIE of evilution.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Ahem!

Now those of you who were in church today have already heard this wonderful story of God taking care of His favorites, but for those who weren't there, what's your excuse? But don't worry, I will share with you anyway.

Brother Elmer Johnson was driving home from Des Moines Friday evening after a solid day of good old fashioned street corner preaching and passing free literature to elementary school children when he saw a car coming down the wrong way on the freeway! From the way the oncoming vehicle was swerving, it was obvious to Brother Elmer that the driver was intoxicated, and the car was coming fast.
The two cars came within feet of each other, but Brother Elmer, thinking fast, got out a quick prayer to Jesus to come help him. Sure enough, the offending car swerved one last time at the last possible moment and instead plowed into the minivan driving in the other lane, killing most of the family in it instantly, except for the four-year-old boy who apparently will never walk again. The driver of the other car was also killed on the spot.
As it turns out, the family were all catlicks, and the drunk driver? A teenaged homer who just had his prom! Now we're not 100% positive he was a homer, but it was his prom night and he was in the vehicle without a female date or a chaperone, so all the evidence is leaning that way.
Praise Jesus! What could have been a disaster turned out to have a very happy ending thanks to the power of prayer!
A True Christian lives to preach another day, and a young cripple got to learn first hand the fruits of his families sin. God is truly awesome!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Yes, I know you don't believe in a 9/11 conspiracy. But it also seemed like you implied that Dubya actually leads his party. He doesn't, he's a figurehead. And the conspiracy theorists reason that the people who actually do lead his party are, in fact capable of such things, however I simply don't agree that it was a conspiracy. There are too many people claiming too many things are a conspiracy nowadays. It's maddening.

Please accept my apology if I gave the impression that I believe Shrubya leads anything except possibly the Parade of Fools.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Please accept my apology if I gave the impression that I believe Shrubya leads anything except possibly the Parade of Fools.

Mr Bush leads the parade of The Saved into Paradise sinning harlot. Your’ lack of understanding on this reveals you utter depravity to the world. it may come as a surprise to you and Rachael normal people don’t measure the success of a leader by the number of harlots he can fornicate with in office.

911 was a conspiracy, it was a conspiracy between Satan underlings the Muslims and the liberals to try and stop Christianity from reclaiming this Great Country. Well guess what? It didn’t work. So Freedom® is on the march now in Iraq and Satan loses again.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Mr Bush leads the parade of The Saved into Paradise sinning harlot. Your’ lack of understanding on this reveals you utter depravity to the world. it may come as a surprise to you and Rachael normal people don’t measure the success of a leader by the number of harlots he can fornicate with in office.

Don't blame it on me if Shrubya can't get laid.
And I measure the success of a president on how good a job he does of upholding the Constitution, at which Shrubya fails miserably.

911 was a conspiracy, it was a conspiracy between Satan underlings the Muslims and the liberals to try and stop Christianity from reclaiming this Great Country. Well guess what? It didn’t work. So Freedom® is on the march now in Iraq and Satan loses again.

Iraq is free? Who knew? Here I was thinking it was occupied.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Don't blame it on me if Shrubya can't get laid.
And I measure the success of a president on how good a job he does of upholding the Constitution, at which Shrubya fails miserably.

Since when has he not upheld the Constitution against liberal hate mongers like you? We are at war and the Constitution gives the President greater powers during war. If it was up to the likes of you the Constitution would be torn to shreds and replaced with the Koran. At lest Bush when faced by religious fanatics bent of destruction has enough sense to turn to his Bible.

Iraq is free? Who knew? Here I was thinking it was occupied.

I said Freedom® is on the march harlot. Just as soon as enough Iraqis' realize the futility of resisting us we can give them Freedom®, You can’t give Freedom® to people unless they are ready for it.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Since when has he not upheld the Constitution against liberal hate mongers like you? We are at war and the Constitution gives the President greater powers during war. If it was up to the likes of you the Constitution would be torn to shreds and replaced with the Koran. At lest Bush when faced by religious fanatics bent of destruction has enough sense to turn to his Bible.

Using his Bible to run the country might be a valid course of action if this were a Christian theocrcy, but it isn't.



I said Freedom® is on the march harlot. Just as soon as enough Iraqis' realize the futility of resisting us we can give them Freedom®, You can’t give Freedom® to people unless they are ready for it.

How do you keep your skull from splitting in half with contradictions like that running through your brain?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Excuse me, what does any of this have to do with Brother Johnson or giving praise to Jesus? Why the unSaved trash have to derail every thread is beyond me! For those of you who missed it, I shall repost my last praise report...

-----------------

Now those of you who were in church today have already heard this wonderful story of God taking care of His favorites, but for those who weren't there, what's your excuse? But don't worry, I will share with you anyway.

Brother Elmer Johnson was driving home from Des Moines Friday evening after a solid day of good old fashioned street corner preaching and passing free literature to elementary school children when he saw a car coming down the wrong way on the freeway! From the way the oncoming vehicle was swerving, it was obvious to Brother Elmer that the driver was intoxicated, and the car was coming fast.
The two cars came within feet of each other, but Brother Elmer, thinking fast, got out a quick prayer to Jesus to come help him. Sure enough, the offending car swerved one last time at the last possible moment and instead plowed into the minivan driving in the other lane, killing most of the family in it instantly, except for the four-year-old boy who apparently will never walk again. The driver of the other car was also killed on the spot.
As it turns out, the family were all catlicks, and the drunk driver? A teenaged homer who just had his prom! Now we're not 100% positive he was a homer, but it was his prom night and he was in the vehicle without a female date or a chaperone, so all the evidence is leaning that way.
Praise Jesus! What could have been a disaster turned out to have a very happy ending thanks to the power of prayer!
A True Christian lives to preach another day, and a young cripple got to learn first hand the fruits of his families sin. God is truly awesome!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Excuse me, what does any of this have to do with Brother Johnson or giving praise to Jesus? Why the unSaved trash have to derail every thread is beyond me! For those of you who missed it, I shall repost my last praise report...

-----------------

Now those of you who were in church today have already heard this wonderful story of God taking care of His favorites, but for those who weren't there, what's your excuse? But don't worry, I will share with you anyway.

Brother Elmer Johnson was driving home from Des Moines Friday evening after a solid day of good old fashioned street corner preaching and passing free literature to elementary school children when he saw a car coming down the wrong way on the freeway! From the way the oncoming vehicle was swerving, it was obvious to Brother Elmer that the driver was intoxicated, and the car was coming fast.
The two cars came within feet of each other, but Brother Elmer, thinking fast, got out a quick prayer to Jesus to come help him. Sure enough, the offending car swerved one last time at the last possible moment and instead plowed into the minivan driving in the other lane, killing most of the family in it instantly, except for the four-year-old boy who apparently will never walk again. The driver of the other car was also killed on the spot.
As it turns out, the family were all catlicks, and the drunk driver? A teenaged homer who just had his prom! Now we're not 100% positive he was a homer, but it was his prom night and he was in the vehicle without a female date or a chaperone, so all the evidence is leaning that way.
Praise Jesus! What could have been a disaster turned out to have a very happy ending thanks to the power of prayer!
A True Christian lives to preach another day, and a young cripple got to learn first hand the fruits of his families sin. God is truly awesome!

How anyone could be happy about a toddler losing the use of his legs and a teenager being killed is beyond me.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

How anyone could be happy about a toddler losing the use of his legs and a teenager being killed is beyond me.

The toddler will grow up having learned a valuable lesson, and the teenager will never be able to have gay sex! Those are good things!
Whatever God doesn't have an active hand in, He allows to happen for a reason. I'm sure He has lots of other things planned around this incident, but the most obvious is that it shows the power of prayer. If you pray, He can help you get off the dangerous path of sin you are walking. I will pray with you, if you'd like.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

The toddler will grow up having learned a valuable lesson, and the teenager will never be able to have gay sex! Those are good things!
Whatever God doesn't have an active hand in, He allows to happen for a reason. I'm sure He has lots of other things planned around this incident, but the most obvious is that it shows the power of prayer. If you pray, He can help you get off the dangerous path of sin you are walking. I will pray with you, if you'd like.

Sure. Start without me.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Sure. Start without me.

Friend,
I wouldn't brush off the offer to help you so lightly; Jesus may be driving the next SUV heading your way!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report

Friend,
I wouldn't brush off the offer to help you so lightly; Jesus may be driving the next SUV heading your way!

I'm sure that if Jesus drove a vehicle, it would be one that was more environmentally friendly.