Is your maid a witch?

[Mrs. Rogers]

Maid caught before black magic could ‘control’ employer

A UAE national says he has managed to save his home from the spell of black magic in the nick of time. His Asian housemaid allegedly tried to place a totem in his house so that she could ‘control’ her employers.

[...]

This case is apparently not one-off. The law enforcement authorities here have been receiving complaints from several families claiming that their housemaids are placing totems in different parts of their houses and adding strange items that are believed to have magic powers to the food items and drinks served to them.

The totems, it is said, are mostly in the form of stones, animal bones, dried leaves and branches or even strange drawings and writings on papers hidden in various corners. ...

This is very disturbing ... in the 1970's I had a Maori housekeeper who, upon being fired, left a plastic tiki in my bedside drawer - right next to my Bible! - but at least she wasn't being sneaky with her witchery. This new breed of hired help are using stones, old food scraps, leaves - the very items they are supposed to be disposing of, such is their cunning and deceit.

If your maid 'accidently' neglects to sweep that last leaf or clean that clod of dirt off the mat, tell Her Wickerness that if she doesn't shape up smartly you'll be finding a new job for her; entails much in the way of running and screaming, but no cleaning, as it is only True Christians™ who get to take out the trash.

[MoonFlower]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

The totems, it is said, are mostly in the form of stones, animal bones, dried leaves and branches or even strange drawings and writings on papers hidden in various corners. ...

Holy crap! Like on the Blaire Witch movie?! I'd never do that to good ole BJ..he's much too patient and nice to me.

Moon

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

Bah. You should visit New Orleans sometime, Mrs Rogers.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

I caught my male nigra servent sniffing my bicycle seat. Is he a witch?

[MoonFlower]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

No. He's just a pervert. Fire him before you find him pleasuring himself and sniffing one of your underwear.

Moon

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

I caught my male nigra servent sniffing my bicycle seat. Is he a witch?

So you have your very own Negro Nostril Hoover©? If he didn't sniff up every last cooter cobweb then he is most definitely a witch.

Beware the totem dust bunny, Sister.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

I caught my male nigra servent sniffing my bicycle seat. Is he a witch?

Either a pervert or obsessive compulsive.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

I caught my male nigra servent sniffing my bicycle seat. Is he a witch?

I doubt it Sister T. He's just a nigra buck, a dumb animal acting on instinct. They sniff and rut and spray to mark their territory like any dumb animal would. Just whomp him on the head with a large stick and tell him to stay clear of your bike. You'll want to hit him pretty hard, because its a well known fact that buck nigras have thick skulls.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

As the Bible states, negroids just think about sex -- that's it. Sex and fried chicken -- at the same time. He was probably thinking about something dirty with the bicycle seat. At any rate, I would suggest you talk to Landover Security as soon as possible....

[Sara]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

As the Bible states, negroids just think about sex -- that's it. Sex and fried chicken -- at the same time. He was probably thinking about something dirty with the bicycle seat. At any rate, I would suggest you talk to Landover Security as soon as possible....

You look like the biggest deformity "God" ever created. Your mother should have had an abortion.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

You look like the biggest deformity "God" ever created. Your mother should have had an abortion.

Do you often just walk into other people's conversations and start advocating murder?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

You look like the biggest deformity "God" ever created. Your mother should have had an abortion.

Friend,

We forgive you for harsh words about our brethren. However that is no guarantee that Jesus will be so forgiving for your cruel attack and His beloved elect. Please hit the tithe button before it is too late friend.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

You look like the biggest deformity "God" ever created. Your mother should have had an abortion.

I happen to know that our Dear Lord Jesus made me in His image. I am one of God's favorite creations -- MAN, and have accepted the Lord Jesus as my Saviour and am therefore without blemish in His (and the Dear Landover Ladies') eyes. What godless heathens have to say about me is without merit and has no bearing on my thoughts other than to give me hope and to drive me to work harder in His name. For we are told that we will be persecuted (as the Godly Fred Phelps can attest!) -- it is an HONOR to be persecuted for Jesus.

Enjoy Hell.

[Petal]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

I happen to know that our Dear Lord Jesus made me in His image.

i no now that lord God not gots a weak chins, that for shore!

I am one of God's favorite creations -- MAN, and have accepted the Lord Jesus as my Saviour and am therefore without blemish in His (and the Dear Landover Ladies') eyes.

this for you --->

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Is your maid a witch?

Quite a staunch chin He must have, indeed! Among other things, of course.....