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If Jesus is Delayed: Plan B, Donald Trump, and Adolf Hitler!
Jesus is procrastinating. His reasons are unfathomable but many of us have been expecting and Praying for His Second Coming, Rapture and the thorough smiting of the disgusting sinners for quite a few years. While I am 99% convinced that He will appear any day now and lift us into Heaven (1 Thessalonians 4:17), it is still possible that His Coming will be delayed (Revelation 16:15). We have neglected this possibility.
We need a Plan B.
What to do if Jesus keeps us waiting? Our Plan B (Plan A is based on Revelation 22:20 and is the more likely scenario) must include many pivotal points as follows:
Psalms 90:10
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
President Trump is 72. By 2036 He would be 90, well past the normal allocation of fourscore that is dictated by Jesus. This means that our actual plan B has to be to prolong the lifespan of President Trump even by artificial means, if necessary. Only He can lead a reasonable proportion of the Nation into Heaven.
Plan B in its complete form is as follows: Prevent President Trump from aging. How to do that? Our Creation Science team now has the answer. Me must capture, examine and utilize Adolf Hitler to discover the secret of Eternal Youth.
Item: Hitler is alive and well. We have established that. However, with some recent developments our case has become even stronger. We now know that Hitler was recently captured (but apparently he escaped) in Mexico!
Thereafter he was seen in the soccer sodomite World Cup assisting his alma mater, the Nazi Germany into 7-1 victory against the Mexicans.
In addition, Hitler's been spotted all over the world: Casually enjoying a cup of something in an outdoor café:
Leisurely fishing probably in the Alps.
And even some respectable U.S. newspapers - not the fake news stations - have now accepted that he's still kickin'!
And, if you look at the images, you can see that he has not aged at all. He's still as youthful as he was during his active years. This means that the extremely advanced Nazi science made him practically immortal. We know that Vladimir Putin has used these treatments for years. So has Hitler. Are they suitable for an even Godlier man, President Trump? What does Jesus say? Is it OK if someone lives more than the fourscore years that Jesus originally mentioned?
Genesis 5:22
And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
Genesis 5:27
And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
It is OK. Now it is the task of the SWAT teams to locate Hitler and bring him to a decent laboratory, where his DNA will be sliced, his vitreous fluid examined for arcane drugs, his organs visualized with MRI and his whole metabolism studied. The cure for old age will be found and given to President Trump. It's a win-win situation. If Jesus decides to do the obvious and return by the end of the month, the Donald will still be Raptured and can enter Heaven. If Jesus continues to keep us waiting, our President can continue saving souls well into next century. The constitutional crises that this may cause is peanuts to a physically immortal being.
A warning. There are fake news claiming that Hitler would be dead!
This is the ultimate proof! By denying the Truth™ the atheist scientists confirm our hypothesis. Because they don't accept that Hitler's alive it is certain that he is. And he can be used.
Praise God!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
We need a Plan B.
What to do if Jesus keeps us waiting? Our Plan B (Plan A is based on Revelation 22:20 and is the more likely scenario) must include many pivotal points as follows:
- The continuation of gaining souls.
- The continuation of fighting sodomy and evolution.
- The continuation of Sound Doctrine and its Preaching.
- The continuation of getting our legislators to follow Jesus Christ.
Psalms 90:10
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
President Trump is 72. By 2036 He would be 90, well past the normal allocation of fourscore that is dictated by Jesus. This means that our actual plan B has to be to prolong the lifespan of President Trump even by artificial means, if necessary. Only He can lead a reasonable proportion of the Nation into Heaven.
Plan B in its complete form is as follows: Prevent President Trump from aging. How to do that? Our Creation Science team now has the answer. Me must capture, examine and utilize Adolf Hitler to discover the secret of Eternal Youth.
Item: Hitler is alive and well. We have established that. However, with some recent developments our case has become even stronger. We now know that Hitler was recently captured (but apparently he escaped) in Mexico!
Thereafter he was seen in the soccer sodomite World Cup assisting his alma mater, the Nazi Germany into 7-1 victory against the Mexicans.
In addition, Hitler's been spotted all over the world: Casually enjoying a cup of something in an outdoor café:
Leisurely fishing probably in the Alps.
And even some respectable U.S. newspapers - not the fake news stations - have now accepted that he's still kickin'!
And, if you look at the images, you can see that he has not aged at all. He's still as youthful as he was during his active years. This means that the extremely advanced Nazi science made him practically immortal. We know that Vladimir Putin has used these treatments for years. So has Hitler. Are they suitable for an even Godlier man, President Trump? What does Jesus say? Is it OK if someone lives more than the fourscore years that Jesus originally mentioned?
Genesis 5:22
And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
Genesis 5:27
And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
It is OK. Now it is the task of the SWAT teams to locate Hitler and bring him to a decent laboratory, where his DNA will be sliced, his vitreous fluid examined for arcane drugs, his organs visualized with MRI and his whole metabolism studied. The cure for old age will be found and given to President Trump. It's a win-win situation. If Jesus decides to do the obvious and return by the end of the month, the Donald will still be Raptured and can enter Heaven. If Jesus continues to keep us waiting, our President can continue saving souls well into next century. The constitutional crises that this may cause is peanuts to a physically immortal being.
A warning. There are fake news claiming that Hitler would be dead!
...a study of the Fuhrer’s purported teeth in the Russian State Archive found them to be an exact match, confirming that Hitler did indeed die in his bunker, likely by taking cyanide and shooting himself in the head.
Praise God!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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