[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On 2 Timothy

Be careful not to be ensnared by the devil, he can do it whenever he wills to!
ALL scripture is inspired by God - EVERY part is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness!
This is how it will be in the last days, everyone will be evil, as such - self-centered, jealous, proud, arrogant, blasphemers, bad to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, homosexual, breaking promises, liars, incontinent, angry, hating good, back-stabbers, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure!
Praise to Jesus, who called us select few with a holy calling before the world began, not because of anything we did, but just because he wanted to!
If you deny Him, He'll deny you!
Shun profane and vain babblers!
Do not be like Hymenaeus and Philetus, who say the resurrection has passed already!
Beware silly women, who are ever learning, for they shall be led away with divers lusts!
AMEN

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On Philippians

The day of Christ comes soon, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
When they hear the name of Jesus, all things will bow - those in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!
Beware of those dogs who do the evil work of circumcision!
The Lord is at hand, wrote Paul, circa 62 AD!
Think about what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, those of virtue and of praise!
Do as Paul commands!
AMEN

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On 1 Timothy

Pay no attention to silly fables or endless genealogies!
Here are the people who are lawless: the disobedient, the ungodly, sinners, the unholy, the profane, those who commit patricide, those who commit matricide, murderers in general, pimps, homosexuals, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and any other thing contrary to sound doctrine!
Do not disagree with Paul, like Hymenaeus and Alexander, for they were delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme!
Women - dress modestly, with shamefacedness, and sobriety - don't braid your hair, wear gold, pearls, or anything expensive!
If a woman absolutely insists on learning, it must be in silence and all subjection - NEVER allow a woman to teach, to steal authority over a man, but ALWAYS in silence!
Men are greater than women, because Adam was made first, and Eve was the one deceived, but despite that women can still be saved if they have children!
Here are the signs that you are in the latter times - some shall depart from the faith, listen to seducing spirits, follow the doctrines of the devil, be lying hypocrites, people shall be forbidden to marry, and become vegetarians!
Don't worry about exercising your body!
Take pity on REAL widows: desolate, trusting in God, praying day and night - but don't care about FAKE widows: having pleasure, for they are dead women walking!
Here is the only reason you should help a widow, even if you live in a society where women earning an income is near-impossible: she must be over sixty, have had only one husband, has done good works that are well-reported, has raised children, has lodged strangers, washed the feet of the saints, relieved the afflicted, diligently followed every good work - but DON'T help widows under sixty, because they will wax wanton against Christ, re-marry, and be damned because of it - if you help them, they'll become lazy, mooching off her neighbors, gossipers, busybodies, speaking things they ought not - let them get married again, have children, take care of the house, and so Satan will not get to them - if you are taking care of these widows, cast them out to the street so you can have the resources to take care of real widows!
Rebuke those who sin in front of everybody, so that they may all learn to fear!
Do you have a stomach ache? Just drink a little wine!
Servants, honor your masters, or else you'll be a blasphemer!
Avoid science, falsely so called!
AMEN

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On Colossians

The gospel was preached to every creature under heaven!
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord!
Servants, obey your master in all things!
GLORY

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On 2 Thessalonians

The Lord Jesus shall take vengeance on them that know not God by burning them forever in flaming fire!
The day of Christ is at hand, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
He shall consume the wicked with the spirit of His mouth!
Beware Satan, who is all-powerful!
Thanks be to God, that he makes people delusional, so that they will believe a lie, so that God will have an excuse for damning them (believing the lie He made them believe)!
Do not hang out with people who do not follow Paul's tradition!
AMEN

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On 1 Thessalonians

We are Christians, we are holy, and just, and blameless!
Be not like the Jews, who killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, persecuted us, pleasing not God, contrary to all men, the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost!
The Lord Jesus Christ is coming, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
Before we die, we shall see the rapture, wrote Paul, circa 52 AD!
Prove all things, hold fast to what is good!
Be good, people of Thessalonica, for the Lord Jesus Christ is coming soon!
GLORY GLORY GLORY

[Meek and Humble]

Re: A Poem about the Gospels

Well, that's it. I have finished. All 66 books of the Bible are represented here. It was been quite a pleasure to engage in this scriptural study, I thank all of the people who read through them with me.

I want to thank of course, the author of all these things, the Lord God Almighty, and all His holy secretaries, who preserved the words I have borrowed from: Moses, Joshua, Phinehas, Samuel, Gad, Nathan, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah, Mordecai, David, Asaph, Heman, Ethan, Solomon, Agur, Lemuel, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, James, Peter, and Jude. I also much in debt to a certain theologian by the name of Wells.

So I guess I am going into poetic retirement, unless anyone has suggestions for other stuff I can write about.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

I've read your poems to my little soldiers before bedtime. It moved their little hearts so much that they spent each night sweating and screaming Bible passages in their sleep.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Thank you Nurse, I'm so pleased to know my works are being enjoyed.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

I have a request!

Could you try writing a poem based on John 6?

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
The gosples keep me from wandering hither and yon
Tho their words are hard to follow
In Satans arms I will not wallow
For today is the day I will not stray

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)

What can a Papist, boy buggering butt jocky possibly know about poetry?

This maybe?

There once was a nun from Cancun
Nuttier than a loon
Who longed for a Coon
Who could make her heart swoon

Her lust was strong
For a man who was long
As big as King Kong
Who had a big bong

But her lust for the drug
In Gods eye made her a slug
She was squashed like a bug
On God's Holy rug

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Poems about the Gospels

Sure thing, Father.

The Catholics being a bunch of reprobates
Mocked God by adding a bunch of extra books to the Bible
Which they did not even authorize as being part of the Bible
Until the 17th century.
It's all a fake
To promote Catholic dogmas
Which had no real Biblical basis.
As God said, whoever adds to His word
Shall have added to his punishment
You can't really add to eternity
But I guess maybe your part of hell will be hotter.
Amen.