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  • #1

    Happy Jewish New Year!

    As the Jewish High Holidays begin tomorrow evening, all of us at the Landover Baptist Church wish to extend our very best wishes to the many Jews who read and contribute to our fora, not to mention the hundreds of Jews employed in the Church accounting and legal departments.

    As this is the traditional season in which Jews repent their sins, we'd like to encourage all of you to apologize for killing Jesus, accept him as your Lord and Savior, stop eating Christian babies, disable the Israeli laser network in space, and move to Israel where God says you all belong.

    L'shana Tova!
    The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

    Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
    As this is the traditional season in which Jews repent their sins, we'd like to encourage all of you to apologize for killing Jesus, accept him as your Lord and Savior, stop eating Christian babies, disable the Israeli laser network in space, and move to Israel where God says you all belong.

    L'shana Tova!
    It's the least that they could do to hurry along Jesus' return. (As well as improve property values in a number of neighborhoods.)
    His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

    Guns For God and the Economy

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

      Hebs are funny with their curls and bald women.



      Ever notice that they have to be first in line for a New Year?
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

        Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
        Ever notice that they have to be first in line for a New Year?
        It's like how the Armenians celebrate Christmas two weeks late to take advantage of the after-Christmas sales. You'd think Jesus would be more important to them than a few drachmas (or whatever worthless money they have in Armenia), but then again they don't have the benefit of the Landover Baptist Church to guide them.

        Do you know how copper wire was invented? A Jew and an Armenian saw a penny at the same time.
        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

          Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
          It's like how the Armenians celebrate Christmas two weeks late to take advantage of the after-Christmas sales.
          It is peculiar how the Jews got so mixed up about the calendar. They go to church on Saturday are way off the mark on New Year. Those running department stores know the date for Christmas. Their lives would be so much better if they would just admit they killed Jesus, ask for forgiveness and become Baptists.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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          • #6
            Telegram @ZENNOBOSS ICQ 1643164 КИДАЛА И МОШЕННИК.

            Telegram @ZENNOBOSS ICQ 1643164 КИДАЛА И МОШЕННИК.

            Comment

            • #7
              Perish Judah

              Originally posted by VictorCoaps View Post
              Telegram @ZENNOBOSS ICQ 1643164 КИДАЛА И МОШЕННИК.
              [I'm not reposting your filthy link]
              Yeah, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to watch granny porn when you get drafted into the godless Finland Army to resist the upcoming Russian liberation of your vile country. Boy, you need Jesus. Won't you pray with me?
              I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
              Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
              But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
              From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Perish Judah

                Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                ...granny porn...
                Well, he's still trolling Yahoo Messenger for skank. Who else could be left there?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Perish Judah

                  Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                  Well, he's still trolling Yahoo Messenger for skank. Who else could be left there?
                  You'd probably have to ask Jeeves to answer that one.
                  I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                  Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                  But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                  From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

                    Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                    It is peculiar how the Jews got so mixed up about the calendar. They go to church on Saturday are way off the mark on New Year. Those running department stores know the date for Christmas. Their lives would be so much better if they would just admit they killed Jesus, ask for forgiveness and become Baptists. tunnel rush
                    Shana tovah u’metukah

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Happy Jewish New Year!

                      Originally posted by weightjuice View Post
                      Shana tovah u’metukah
                      Originally posted by VictorCoaps View Post
                      Telegram @ZENNOBOSS ICQ 1643164 КИДАЛА И МОШЕННИК.
                      Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                      L'shana Tova!
                      In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I now bring the fullness of his cross, death, blood, and sacrifice, his resurrection, life, and empty tomb, his authority, rule, and dominion; I bring judgment from the throne of Jesus Christ against every foul power, witchcraft, black art, and curse. I bring Jesus Christ cursed against all curses—written, spoken, unspoken, or transferred.

                      Jesus, I ask you to send your angels now to completely disarm all curses and black arts; disarm their every device and render them destroyed. I ask your angels to remove all foul spirits involved in these curses and black arts and bind them to your feet for judgment. I now claim every spiritual blessing that my Heavenly Father has given to me in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:3). I claim those blessings right here in the very place of cursing, by the authority and power of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in his name.

                      All of this I pray by the authority and in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who came in the flesh, you are NOT the Father.
                      If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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