Found a good use for spraytan

[lukasekman]

Me and my wife have always frown upon spraytan. It's modern witchcraft for people ungrateful for LORD making them white.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
- Exodus 22:18

But before we hunt all witches who sell and use spraytan, let's consider a sole useful thing with it - disciplining children who are ungrateful for being white.
My wife found our youngest son listening to hip-hop "music", which is notorious for tempting children into ungratefulness. She sprayed his face, and he did first scream from the smell and eye irritation. But the true disciplinary effect was yet to come. As soon as he walked past a mirror, he got perplexed by seeing himself no longer white. He returned crying to my wife, and she explained to him that he had listened to sinful music, and that he needs to pray his white skin back, and then be more grateful for his white skin. Otherwise, the same judgment will happen again.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Found a good use for spraytan

I too am a big fan of the technique of "over-correction" in the disciplinary arts. For example, if a child doesn't obey first time requests made by a parent, with a cheerful countenance and pleasant smile on his face, he must practice by obeying each and every request made by each sibling for the next seven days. Any infraction (cheerfulness doesn't seem sincere, smile not strong enough to emit a pleasant atmosphere) results in added time onto the sentence. By the time they are done, they are perfectly cheerful, obedient children.

I like the idea of over-correction in the realm of skin color. After all, if a child wants to listen to music like a hoodlum, generally act like a hoodlum, if he wants to play the part of a hoodlum and support the hoodlum lifestyle, he should experience the whole thing. Tell me, have you instituted random checks of his personal belongings and frequent in-home incarceration? I found a helpful reminder of the place of the unrepentant black. I hope you and your wife can use it in your own home to create the atmosphere of Godly charity.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Found a good use for spraytan

I have seen the pictures where prisoners are made to hold up a card bearing their prison number before, but most prisons segregate the prisoners according to gender.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Found a good use for spraytan

There's no two way about it, this use of spraytan in nothing short of innovative when your offspring shows signs of becoming a Wigger. Flashing gang signs, wearing hoodies, talking jive, rhyming like Jessie Jackson, showing interest in hip-hop music and listening to nigra bubblegum music are clear indications that it's time to put them in the shower stall and hose them down head to foot with spraytan.

[lukasekman]

Re: Found a good use for spraytan

The tan is having great effect on our kids, the mere threat of spray made my daughter tidy up her music collection and burn a couple of cd's (as in book burning, not stealing copyrighted music).

We have however a worry. With plenty of spraytan, the result is in the middle eastern range. But that's just halfway black. Is there any way to boost the tan, so they actually look western African, like Gambia or Senegal? That would prevent my kids from catching sickle cell by reverse triggering.

I'm open for any suggestion of booster, let it be DDT, forcing them to eat insects or anointing their skin with motor oil. The only exception is psychotropic and hormonal drugs, including insulin and Ritalin.
As a spokesman for the Christian Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), those big pharma toxins are a big no no.