[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

At night when I close my eyes, I see woman of my dreams, with a pink designer handbag, her pink accessory Bible, and her matching tazer. She will teach the Bible to our many children, and if they daydream or sass talk, her tazer-draw will be the fastest in the west.




So how about that? A special pink bible, pink tazer 2-for-one deal? Make my dreams come true...

[Poison__x]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

True Christians™ don't marry for excitment. We choose our mates based on useful skills: like fast driving, excellent tailgating skills, and intelligence, proven by how NASCAR drivers only mention God and praying when they win, and not when they lose.

What's your idea of a good sport, count drag-ula?

Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.

Football is a Godly American sport.

Soccer is for eurotrash fags.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.

If I wanted to watch a bunch of half-naked Eurotrash kick a rubber ball around I would go to a Swedish live sex show- at least the seats wouldn't be so sticky.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

At night when I close my eyes, I see woman of my dreams, with a pink designer handbag, her pink accessory Bible, and her matching tazer. She will teach the Bible to our many children, and if they daydream or sass talk, her tazer-draw will be the fastest in the west.




So how about that? A special pink bible, pink tazer 2-for-one deal? Make my dreams come true...

Brother Trent, I think living in the safety and luxury of Baghdad has spoiled you! A tazer? Sure, if she wants to give some junkie hopped up on goofballs an electric tickle, or maybe it's good if the Iraqi poolboys momentarily forget their place. However, once you're back here in the Godly United States, you'll find the land crawling with lieberals, Demoncrats, nigras, feminazis, witches, and the Hellyweird elite!
It may not come in pretty colors, but I personally carry an anodized gray Beretta 3032 Tomcat Inox and it works plenty good!
I know some crybaby lieberals are whining over that incident last month with the Hughes' Mexican't gardener, but how was I supposed to know he was returning our "borrowed" lawnmower? The district attorney here in Freehold found that I had just cause in suspecting that he was stealing it and acted in a reasonable manner, so no charges were pressed, and I've apologized to the Hughes family for making them go through the inconvenience of finding a new gardener.
The upside is that the filthy papist already had 3 children and another on the way. If he was only tazered, who knows how many more brats he would sire to grow up and suck on the welfare treat or join Mexican't gangs and steal from good, honest, God-fearing folk?

Oh dear! I'm sorry if I'm babbling! Some Joo lawyer, probably from the ACLJoo, served me with a summons today. The gardener's family is suing me for "wrongful death" now. If they thought it was so wrongful, they wouldn't have been born as lazy, thieving Mexican'ts! What are they crying about? I gave them $50 and one-way tickets back to Mexico! Greedy and selfish, that's what they are. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I do envy your easy life in Baghdad, with so few worries and none of these horrible troubles to weigh on you.

[Christiana]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

In honor of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity (see Video proof of her True Christian? status HERE!) this year the gold, silver, bronze, and first runner-up prize for the Sunday School labor-day essay contest ("How the estate tax persecutes America's hard-working heirs") will be this $270 hot pink calfskin Bible.


Don't expect to be the next First Lady of the USA without it!

(The prize for winning boys will be the usual selection of sidearms).

Thank you Brother Jeb. I love the color pink. It is so female. When I see that color I just thank God that He created me a woman.

[Poison__x]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Football is a Godly American sport.

Soccer is for eurotrash fags.

That football player sure seems to be going for the other one's balls *whistle*
And who doesn't like a nice, firm ass? ;p

If I wanted to watch a bunch of half-naked Eurotrash kick a rubber ball around I would go to a Swedish live sex show- at least the seats wouldn't be so sticky.

Only someone of your stature would know what live Swedish sex shows are like, correct?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

That football player sure seems to be going for the other one's balls *whistle*
And who doesn't like a nice, firm ass? ;p



Only someone of your stature would know what live Swedish sex shows are like, correct?

Get a haircut hippie!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

And I don't care what Jesus thi... oh wait, he can't think, he's been dead for 2k years!

Jesus died and rose again. God temporarily sacrificed Himself to Himself to avert His own wrath. Can't you show just a little bit of gratitude to Him?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Brother Trent, I think living in the safety and luxury of Baghdad has spoiled you! A tazer? Sure, if she wants to give some junkie hopped up on goofballs an electric tickle, or maybe it's good if the Iraqi poolboys momentarily forget their place. However, once you're back here in the Godly United States, you'll find the land crawling with lieberals, Demoncrats, nigras, feminazis, witches, and the Hellyweird elite!

It may not come in pretty colors, but I personally carry an anodized gray Beretta 3032 Tomcat Inox and it works plenty good!

You've got a point: while it's fun hearing loudmouthed college kids saying "don't tase me bro", there's a reason we have the National Rifle Assosiation and no the National Tazer Assosiation.

Here's some fashion accessories for the SERIOUS lady:



Here's the diamond I'll give when I propose:

[Talitha]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

I saw the word Pink and somehow missed out on an interesting topic!

When it comes to protective accessories, Praise Jesus my personal designer comes up with only the best money can buy.
You never know when a Negra is going to come and try to rape you so I tend to be careful in these difficult times.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Talitha! I don't know which is worse: the disgustingly exposed bellybutton in that picture, or your attempt to deny the southward migration of your breasts using Hitoshi-quality photoshopping skills!

I'll forgive you this time, only because I know you ladies are all hyped up about Brother Trent's visit. I know how a scar and a few war stories tends to turn even the most modest of ladies into a drooling "victory girl".

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

I know how a scar and a few war stories tends to turn even the most modest of ladies into a drooling "victory girl".

I have NO idea what you're talking about!

And her breasts are not droopy, they are tender, and if anything is to blame it's gravity.

[Talitha]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

I have NO idea what you're talking about!

And her breasts are not droopy, they are tender, and if anything is to blame it's gravity.

Thank you Brother Trent, I'm pleased there is one Gentleman around here.

Brother Jeb, HOW DARE YOU talk about my Boobies in that manner
Being away from home for a few days is obviously having an effect on you.
By the way, the Sheep you had in the basement was a nice gesture and quite delicious too
Tell me, why was it dressed in that way? I've never seen one wearing high heels before, was that to help firm up the Leg meat? Seems to have worked.
Don't worry we saved you a little for your return.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!

Brother Jeb, HOW DARE YOU talk about my Boobies in that manner
Being away from home for a few days is obviously having an effect on you.

Alright, I'll apologize for the boob comment. I guess after a long enough time in Thailand all American women seem flabby and pale by comparism. Some men say it's like the difference between a ripe pear and a melting vanilla ice cream cone, uh, and I think I'll just stop right there.