Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women
Reload this Page Does my kitchen need exorcising?
Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Unhappy Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-09-2012, 09:47 AM

Ladies of Landover, I need your advice.

As some of you know I am unmarried and as I'm sure all of you know the best way of remedying that is through delicious pies. With that in mind I cleared some time yesterday to practice.

I spoke to my married neighbour and he said his favourite pie was an apple one. I'm not for one moment suggesting that I was baking pies to lure him from his (admittedly hell-bound) wife, just that that seemed like a good place to start - I had proof after all that it was a pie liked by men (and to think the atheists accuse us of ignoring evidence).

As I'm still new to the ways of offering pie to men I decided to use a pre-made apple pie filling and pre-made pastry. It's possible the Lord took exception to this laziness, I'm not sure - advice would be welcome.

Well, I laid out all the ingredients and set the oven to pre-heat. I started weighing out the cinammon, as my neighbour was very clear that a real apple pie must have cinammon, and then went to my closet to pray for a succesful pie.

When I got back to the kitchen there was an odd smell in the air but I just assumed that was a normal part of the pie making process. I started opening the can of pie filling but the smoke alarm made me jump and I cut my hand quite badly on the jagged edge of the can and spilt the pie filling all over the floor. At this point I'm ashamed to say I cursed quite loudly but fortunately managed to avoid taking the Lord's name in vain.

Checking the oven released thick clouds of smoke but I eventually realised that I'd left the oven gloves in there and they had caught fire. I managed to sort that out and bandage my hand but I was well behind schedule by that point and my bandaged hand was making me clumsy. Trying to get back on schedule as I had planned on a rhubarb crumble after the apple pie I was running around and slipped on the apple pie filling I'd spilt earlier, bringing the ingredients down with one of my flailing arms. I cracked my head quite hard and lost consciousness for a few moments.

When I came to, my cat (I'm 31 and unmarried. Yes, I own a cat) was licking my thigh. As I'd fallen I'd spilt milk all over myself. Now, it was only just above the knee but I wasn't sure exactly how far Leviticus 18:23 applied and I didn't want to run the risk of accidentally breaking it so I shoed Chairman Miaow away and took the jeans off as I feared they had been tainted. As my blouse was also soaked I took that off as well.

Whether it was the blow to the head or some demon of confusion I'm not sure, but instead of putting the blouse in the washing machine I actually put it in the oven. I didn't realise that at the time though and wandered off to change my clothes.

While I was upstairs the smoke alarm went off again and I raced downstairs but tripped over my cat and fell down the stairs. The next thing I remember is that several firemen were in my house, one sorting out my burning blouse in the oven while two checked if I was OK as I was lying facedown on the floor in my underwear while Chairman Miaow licked my, errr, my behind.

The true tragedy isn't the smoke damage to the kitchen, the loss of a good blouse or the fact that I had to kill Chairman Miaow. The true tragedy is that one of the firemen made a pointed remark about Leviticus 20:16 as they carried me out of the house. It seems clear he was a true Christian man and - though disturbingly heavy and rather too muscled for my tastes - I am in no position to be picky at this stage.

So Ladies of Landover. Was it my laziness in using pre-prepared pie ingredients that caused the Lord to punish me or is there something more sinister at work here? I seem to have made some rookie errors in making the pie.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
VictoryOS's Avatar
VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Beauty True Christian Lady True Christian Homemaker True Heterosexual™ Best Pie Tin Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Eats the Most Pork Christian Love Victory Over Sex True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Roper Crossburn Trumpette Home Schooled Saved 5 Years 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class Trump of GOD Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus GLORY Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,432
Join Date: Dec 2007
VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-09-2012, 06:45 PM

Oh you poor dear! That chain of tragedies must have left you severely rattled.

As I was reading through your story I thought maybe you just needed some guidance in the kitchen from a lady more experienced in the culinary arts, such as myself. But then I got to this part...

Quote:
and took the jeans off
I have to ask what you were thinking, wearing men's clothes in the kitchen! Try dressing more ladylike and surely God will smile on you as you cook and clean in preparation for meeting the special man in your life.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 23,296
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-09-2012, 08:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
As I'm still new to the ways of offering pie to men I decided to use a pre-made apple pie filling and pre-made pastry. It's possible the Lord took exception to this laziness, I'm not sure - advice would be welcome.
Well let me just ask a question, would you take a short-cut with praying to the LORD? Would you simply walk by your prayer closet and nod your head and pretend you'd gone in there, dropped to your knees, and spent hours on end just to save time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
When I came to, my cat (I'm 31 and unmarried. Yes, I own a cat) was licking my thigh.... while Chairman Miaow licked my, errr, my behind.
Dear, I don't know about your kitchen, as things about the LORD and demons are best learned from the men, (1 Timothy 2:12) but you need to confess your furry lap-dance to a pastor as soon as possible! You don't want the bestiality demons to take over your mind and make you desire...impure things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
I have to ask what you were thinking, wearing men's clothes in the kitchen! Try dressing more ladylike and surely God will smile on you as you cook and clean in preparation for meeting the special man in your life.
Perhaps Miss Moore wears denim bloomers to keep warm in the cold winter months. Here is a photo of a pair of mine I just finished sewing:




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,050
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default 03-09-2012, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Well let me just ask a question, would you take a short-cut with praying to the LORD? Would you simply walk by your prayer closet and nod your head and pretend you'd gone in there, dropped to your knees, and spent hours on end just to save time?



Dear, I don't know about your kitchen, as things about the LORD and demons are best learned from the men, (1 Timothy 2:12) but you need to confess your furry lap-dance to a pastor as soon as possible! You don't want the bestiality demons to take over your mind and make you desire...impure things.



Perhaps Miss Moore wears denim bloomers to keep warm in the cold winter months. Here is a photo of a pair of mine I just finished sewing:


Dear Mary, as ever you are an inspiration (to women).

YIC
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-09-2012, 08:26 PM

Well, I've since thrown the jeans out but they were from a women's wear shop and the tag specifically said "women's jeans".

So this is a matter of laziness?
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,992
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-10-2012, 03:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
The true tragedy is that one of the firemen made a pointed remark about Leviticus 20:16 as they carried me out of the house. It seems clear he was a true Christian man and - though disturbingly heavy and rather too muscled for my tastes - I am in no position to be picky at this stage.

So Ladies of Landover. Was it my laziness in using pre-prepared pie ingredients that caused the Lord to punish me or is there something more sinister at work here? I seem to have made some rookie errors in making the pie.
My dear Catherine, how is this a tragedy? A possibly True Christian™ fireman comes to your rescue, and you call it a tragedy?

Did it not occur to you that the Lord may have been doing a bit of matchmaking?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-18-2012, 04:35 AM

Further kitchen problems. I think I shall move house. I completed an apple pie without incident earlier today (using fresh ingredients) and then went out for a while. I left the pie on the window sill to cool.

I've just checked, though, and its gone!

Incidentally, Reverand, I followed your suggestion. I don't want to bore you with prattle but you were right.

Glory!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 23,296
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-18-2012, 06:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
Further kitchen problems. I think I shall move house. I completed an apple pie without incident earlier today (using fresh ingredients) and then went out for a while. I left the pie on the window sill to cool.

I've just checked, though, and its gone!

Incidentally, Reverand, I followed your suggestion. I don't want to bore you with prattle but you were right.

Glory!
Miss Moore, Sister Daisy Mae had the same problem. Perhaps one of Mr. O'fagan's window screens would help you, too.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,992
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-19-2012, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
Further kitchen problems. I think I shall move house. I completed an apple pie without incident earlier today (using fresh ingredients) and then went out for a while. I left the pie on the window sill to cool.

I've just checked, though, and its gone!

Incidentally, Reverand, I followed your suggestion. I don't want to bore you with prattle but you were right.

Glory!
Perhaps a pie safe would be a better choice than a windowsill . . . protects from both thieving hands AND flies.



Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
MrsBadwan's Avatar
MrsBadwan MrsBadwan is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Never leave the house
MrsBadwan is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-19-2012, 07:47 PM

I would never leave a pie on my windowsill without supervision! Always keep it safe for when my husband comes home. I wouldn´t like it to be eaten by bugs OR taken by thieves! If you can´t always supervise the pie, you should really get the pie safe, it´s a great idea!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
OliveOilMom's Avatar
OliveOilMom OliveOilMom is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
OliveOilMom has had a couple of people click the rep button.OliveOilMom has had a couple of people click the rep button.OliveOilMom has had a couple of people click the rep button.OliveOilMom has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-27-2012, 04:23 AM

I would never make an apple pie! Apples are the devils favorite food!!! He told Eve to eat one and even though the LORD had told her not to, she did it anyway, then got her husband to eat one! Because of her, having babies hurts! I know it's pain that we deserve for our sinful nature, but I do not want to risk any of GODS RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT on my family if I serve them up a big ole pie o' sin!

Be safe, not sorry! Stick to sweet potato or pecan. I'll post my recipe for them if you like!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-27-2012, 10:15 AM

Good point, I had never considered that.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,050
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-27-2012, 10:32 AM

Are there any bushes around your windowsill? Can you hear any repetitive 'rhythm' music? The sounds of 'bitch slappin' of baby mommas' hooting and hollerin?

I don't want to worry you but I fear you may have an infestation of darkies.

Maybe call the Counsel to get them moved?

YIC
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,992
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-30-2012, 05:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OliveOilMom View Post
I would never make an apple pie! Apples are the devils favorite food!!! He told Eve to eat one and even though the LORD had told her not to, she did it anyway, then got her husband to eat one! Because of her, having babies hurts! I know it's pain that we deserve for our sinful nature, but I do not want to risk any of GODS RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT on my family if I serve them up a big ole pie o' sin!

Be safe, not sorry! Stick to sweet potato or pecan. I'll post my recipe for them if you like!
My dear, dear OliveOilMom:

I realize you are but a female, so will say this slowly:

You may, indeed, consume apples. They are not the devil's fruit.

The fruit eaten in the Garden of Eden was not an apple. Or if it was, the Bible does not say it was.

Personally, I wonder if perhaps it was a banana. After all, the banana is perfectly designed for human consumption, and has been consumed by nearly every human -- giving them the knowledge of right and wrong, even as infants, and thus responsible for their actions even before they can read or walk.



Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does my kitchen need exorcising? - 03-30-2012, 05:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Perhaps Miss Moore wears denim bloomers to keep warm in the cold winter months. Here is a photo of a pair of mine I just finished sewing:



There's nothing like denim bloomers to get Uncle Deaner's motor running!! Great God in Heaven; somebody put a warning sticker on that will 'ya?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved