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  • #1

    New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

    Yes, I know gaslighting is all the rage. The young in particular can't stop talking about it.

    However, gaslighting is very rude, very angering, and some say it's even psychologically damaging. I'm not sure it's possible for something to be damaging to the psyche, I've never seen a psyche, like I've never seen germs, so it might be another thing that scientists made up.

    One thing that is NOT up for debate is the fire hazards involved. Methane gas burns HOT, that's why it's use to power furnaces and stovetops. Creating heat is what methane does best.

    If you burn your anus in the process of lighting your gas, you will have the sort of injury that requires ointment. If you rub ointment on your anus, you risk accidentally recruiting yourself into homosexuality.

    It is for these reasons that Landover Baptist Church has ZERO TOLERANCE for gaslighting.
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    Tags: fire, fires, gaslighting, psychology, rude, rules
  • #2
    Re: New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

    Thank you Jeb! What are your thoughts on Indian food?

    I made the mistake of eating some very spicy curry the other day, and it BURNED on the way out.


    I didn't want to feel tempted, so instead of applying the healing cream myself, I asked a senior pastor to do it.
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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    • #3
      Re: New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
      I didn't want to feel tempted, so instead of applying the healing cream myself, I asked a senior pastor to do it.
      Well that's not appropriate at all. You should've ordered a servant to do that. This sounds like exactly the kind of thing that's right up Uncle Rutherford's alley.
      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

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      • #4
        Re: New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

        Due to my ongoing financial challenges, I can not afford to keep a servant on my payroll at this time.
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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        • #5
          Re: New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

          We went all electric long ago. After the third or fourth girl failed to light the pilot in the oven, I learned all about the dangers of gaslighting.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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          • #6
            Re: New Rule: we have ZERO TOLERANCE for GASLIGHTING!

            Unlike the Catholic Church, which lights everything with candles, we at the Landover Baptist Church take fire safety seriously. Which is one reason we want our visitors to be saved from the flames of Hell by accepting Jesus as their Savior and tithing appropriately to the Church.

            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
            Due to my ongoing financial challenges, I can not afford to keep a servant on my payroll at this time.
            Funny story--I live in New York City's Greenwich Village. Some time ago I was looking for a manservant and placed the following ad in the Village Voice:

            SWM living alone seeking a muscular and submissive black man with a well-stocked toolbox to provide full-time, live-in service. Room, board, a modest stipend, and all lubricants, straps, chains, and other necessary supplies will be provided. Must be presentable from top to bottom and be willing to be lent to my friends on special occasions.

            I had over 200 applicants, but not one of them was suitable as a domestic servant! So now I'm stuck providing these services for myself.
            The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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