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  • #16
    Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

    I have to say, shopping for Joo relatives like mine is a lot easier than for Mary-Worshipping ones like Sister Rain's. I just have to sent them each a shiny penny and they're happy all year long. I usually also send them a card along the lines of "let us all celebrate the birthday of the Sweet Baby Jesus, remember Him? The fellow who died on the cross for all our sins, wasn't He wonderful? Wasn't killing Him a terrible thing to do? Wouldn't it be a good idea to repent and allow His Love into your hook-nosed little heart? Love, your son."
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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    • #17
      Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

      My problem??
      Is that an XTIAN celebration is being SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT every time I walk into a shopping center!!!
      Sweet merciful crawdads, too many Xtians, not enough lions!
      sigpic
      Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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      • #18
        Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
        My problem??
        Is that an XTIAN celebration is being SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT every time I walk into a shopping center!!!
        Sweet merciful crawdads, too many Xtians, not enough lions!
        Are you trying to deny us our right to practice our own religion? I'm used to such blatant anti-Christian persecution out there in the unsaved secular world, but I never thought I'd be subjected to it here in God's favorite forum.
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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        • #19
          Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

          Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
          I have to say, shopping for Joo relatives like mine is a lot easier than for Mary-Worshipping ones like Sister Rain's. I just have to sent them each a shiny penny and they're happy all year long. I usually also send them a card along the lines of "let us all celebrate the birthday of the Sweet Baby Jesus, remember Him? The fellow who died on the cross for all our sins, wasn't He wonderful? Wasn't killing Him a terrible thing to do? Wouldn't it be a good idea to repent and allow His Love into your hook-nosed little heart? Love, your son."
          I am in awe of the Christian love and compassion that you show to them. Whether they realize it yet or not, they are truly blessed to have you in their lives.
          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

          sigpic

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          • #20
            Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

            Originally posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
            Are you trying to deny us our right to practice our own religion? I'm used to such blatant anti-Christian persecution out there in the unsaved secular world, but I never thought I'd be subjected to it here in God's favorite forum.
            Bah. You Xtians need to get used to the idea of EQUALITY, and not preferential treatment like you're used to.

            Why are there no other religious holiday items on sale except for Xtian ones? THAT'S what I call predjudice...come on, ACLU!!
            sigpic
            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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            • #21
              Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
              Bah. You Xtians need to get used to the idea of EQUALITY, and not preferential treatment like you're used to.
              Really, Mrs. Van Hellbound, what are you going on about? If you want your satanic Christian-baby-eating festival to have equal standing with our Godly celebration of the birth of Our Savior, than you are the one demanding special privileges. You'd already know this if you listened to Godly AM talk radio instead of watching the Oprah Channel or whatever it is.

              P.S. What is "Xtian" supposed to mean? If you can't be bothered to type out "Christ," then Christ can't be bothered to do anything but throw you into the lake of fire with your buddies at the Anti-Christian Lunatics' Union.
              This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

              Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

              sigpic

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              • #22
                Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

                Don't insult the ACLU!
                They want equal status for ALL, not priveleged treatment for mean christians!!
                sigpic
                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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                • #23
                  Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

                  The ACLU is a well-known communist-jew organization. The use alot of shiny words like "equality" in order to trick the great unwashed like you. They are in fact, Christian haters, and as such will be dispatched into the special district of hell reserved for filthy Christ-killing jew lawyers. Praise God!!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                  • #24
                    Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

                    Miss.Sue Vera, i be needin your true Christmiss Advices™ this year, cuz i not feelin the lurve of lord Jesus . i was gonna gives everyone a bootiful Christmiss kitty



                    but the way to a true Christian™ hearts is thru a true Christian™ stomacks an there be lots an lots of baptist folks who heart kittys in a biblickal ways

                    i needs some noo gift ideas, cuz i be tempteds by the demon of bah humbugs, it true!


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                    • #25
                      Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

                      Miss Petal! I still don't even know what I'm getting for Pastor Al yet. Christmas has become so terribly sexularized that surely he'd sneer if I BY MISTAKE gave him something I'd bought an un$avED "friend" by accident at the Family Teamwork Networking Dollar Store. For one dilly dollar.

                      (By the way - this one reminds me of that awful Moreass cat - the one who thought his 9 Lives didn't stink):

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                      • #26
                        Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!

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