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  • ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

    We have given away tens of thousands of these, but now the new deal is the WII. We still have a few PS3s left. Get yours before the manufacturer goes out of business!
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6



  • #2
    Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

    I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was baptized as a baby, and continue to see Him as that to this day.

    So, WHERE'S MY WII?!
    ACTS 5:29

    But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
    There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

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    • #3
      Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

      "WII" refers to a video game system, not a little child, put your pants back on father.
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

        Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
        I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was baptized as a baby, and continue to see Him as that to this day.
        Are you seriously trying to tell us that, as a little baby, you made a conscious decision to turn your life and soul over to Jesus and follow all His Commands? Is this going to lead up to you explaining why you think the age of consent should be four?
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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        • #5
          Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

          If I Accept Jesus (get $avED) again, can I just do ye out of a little Christmas Eggnog? That's all I ask. I'm easy

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          • #6
            Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

            Originally posted by SUV View Post
            If I Accept Jesus (get $avED) again, can I just do ye out of a little Christmas Eggnog? That's all I ask. I'm easy
            Sure, SUV! You're easy like Sunday mornin'.
            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


            Comment


            • #7
              Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

              Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
              Sure, SUV! You're easy like Sunday mornin'.
              Great, now I am never going to get that song out of my head.

              If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

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              • #8
                Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                Originally posted by Seeker View Post
                Great, now I am never going to get that song out of my head.
                No need to fret, Ms. Seeker! As with all problems, JESUS provides a solution.
                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                  I accepted Jesus into <profanity removed -SS>
                  Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 11-22-2007, 06:32 AM. Reason: profanity removed

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                  • #10
                    Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                    what? get a ps3? for accepting christ? Are you trying to buy my faith?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                      Yeah, that and agree to "look" and sign up for a few offers and then refer your friends to them and only when your friends do the same thing do you actually get what they promise.

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                      • #12
                        Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                        Originally posted by Epiphany View Post
                        Yeah, that and agree to "look" and sign up for a few offers and then refer your friends to them and only when your friends do the same thing do you actually get what they promise.
                        Young lady, we are NOT affiliated with the Amway Cult. You're thinking of the Mormoons.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                        • #13
                          Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                          No need to fret, Ms. Seeker! As with all problems, JESUS provides a solution.

                          Thanks?!#!?
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                            This is unacceptable, trying to help godless headens? Especially giving out a PS3?!! Donate it to the church and hope you wont end up in hell

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                            • #15
                              Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                              Originally posted by Johnbob View Post
                              This is unacceptable, trying to help godless headens? Especially giving out a PS3?!! Donate it to the church and hope you wont end up in hell
                              Now, is that anyway ta talk about them poor, misguided heathens? We gotta get all the soldiers for Christ that we can!

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