A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

[Wash O'Hanley]

As most of you know yesterday war broke out between the nation of Russia and Georgia over a small territory known as South Ossetia. Both places lay claim to the territory but I am calling on both regions to lay down their weapons and reach diplomatic agreements before there is further blood shed. With the current prices of history text books and maps our economy simply cannot handle another war which may change the borders of this troubled region-- most schools in America just recently updated their text books to no longer recognize the Ottoman Empire as a country. Most maps are made and printed in countries like China and changing borders comes a need for new maps. Georgia has always been a hot summer destination spot, recognized world-wide for its robust and manly prostitutes and cheap imitation wines. Our reliance on foreign maps will cause the price to rise to roughly five dollars a parcel, crippling the plans of perverted summer travelers that can no longer afford to pay the prices of Big Map.

I am calling for peace between Russia and Georgia and ask that they consider the damage that their war will cause to public and private schools all over America, already strapped for money, faced with the prospect of having to by new geography and history text books to accommodate the change in borders that are sure to occur and cheap summer travelers that cannot afford trips to real European countries like France or Italy and must aim a little lower.

[Roberta]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I have always thought Atlanta was worthless anyway. Buckhead is awash with fags and crack peddling nigras.

This time I am for the commies!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

Brother Wash, your Christian fortitude and generosity never ceases to amaze and astound your hundreds of faithful listeners. That an award-winning broadcaster and well-selling author like you could take the time out of his busy schedule and offer such wise words of wisdom on such an insignificant issue is testimony to the power of the Holy Ghost coursing through your very masculine body.

To be honest, until I read this I wasn't aware that war had broken out. I wasn't even aware that Georgia was a country. Has the DOF informed the Whitehouse yet?

[VictoryOS]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I hope this doesn't affect the Cubs-Braves series next week. It was bad enough when they canceled baseball after 9/11.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

And people said that the geopolitics of Red Dawn were unrealistic: "Russia invading Colorado? Nuh-uh!" Yet here we have Russia ready to invade Georgia.

I guess we're meant to root for Georgia, but I can't get worked up about a place that has had so little to offer us. It's given us the liberal-biased jewsmedia baron Ted Turner, Coke (an inferior imitation of Pepsi), President Carter....It goes on and on. The anthem of the place is even a song by that drug-addicted cripple, Ray Charles.

I guess we're also meant to care because of an oil pipeline there, but who cares, there's an oil pipeline in every country in the world. Every country in the world with a war in it, anyway.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

Brother Wash,

Once again your melodious True Christian© voice rings forth from my radio speaker. Your compassion for the welfare of those people is truly heartwarming.

Do you think this will affect the availability of Vidalia onions ?

YIC

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

With all due respect to our Master Debater, I don't see why it matters. My grandson is being homeschooled, and my daughter-in-law isn't even bothering to teach him about geography beyond the the borders of God's favorite nation, beyond such bare essentials as the names of the countries that have pre-stolen our oil. When she got some geography textbooks from the local Christian textbook clearinghouse, she just used a razor blade and cut out the useless bits about the Papal States and the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I was wondering if it might make sense to design a new globe made out of white board material. We could print the USA in permanent ink, but leave the rest blank. This way, less important countries could be drawn in with dry erase markers. We might even want to leave some countries like Belgium and Venezuela off the map!

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

Brother O'Hanley, few minds cut to the salient international implications as cleanly as yours.

One must consider the military aspects of this as well. In the event that South Ossetia swaps hands, army engineers must redraw all the maps of Eastern Europe. This will strain our military budgets to the breaking-point.

Perhaps it is time to play the nuclear card: No border changes, or the Wrath of God shall fall with a light like unto the Sun brought to Earth. I think President McCain could get behind that policy.

~~ OEJ

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I've done some more research, and it turns out that this war is not happening in the REAL Georgia, but is in fact happening in some nation of plagerists, who stole the intellectual property of the USA when they named their nation "Georgia". (They even ripped off the name of their sea, from the recent Narnia movie: "Caspian Sea")

Now, I'm as opposed to placename-piracy as anyone else, but when choosing sides, we have to look at the big-picture geopolitical strategic facts:



1. Georgia has the only pipeline that can get the "Caspian" sea oil to the west without having to deal with Iranians or Russians. (The only other way is Afganistan, which is too much of a mess, which is Clinton's fault). People take this particular oil very seriously: the largest battle ever fought, the battle of Stalingrad, was fought over it (or maybe because Stalin was so angry about their city plagerizing his name).

2. In order to keep the oil out of ruskie hands, Bush-McCain and fellow neoconservatives want "Georgia" to join NATO as fast as possible.

3. NATO does not accept members with terretorial disputes (such as this Ossetia thing), therefore;

4. "Georgia" is has to completely solve these ancient ethnic disputes in a very short time, and the only way to do that is

5. Ethnic Cleansing; (Which is ugly, and therefore can only be done at a time when the world is destracted, like for example the first day of the Olympics)

6. Though ethnic cleansing gives Russia a perfect excuse to invade "Georgia" and capture the strategic oil pipeline - and they will have an easier time of it because most of Georgia's army is in Iraq (which is also Clinton's fault),

7. Thus counterproductive oil-related meddling which has given us another strategic disaster, which like Iraq is all Clinton's fault.

Which leaves me with the final question: should we keep proving that this is all Clinton's fault, or would it be safer to just keep everyone focused on the Olympics?

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I had thought about this war, let the unGodly commies kill each other, what does it have to do with Christians? And now I feel a bit ashamed; Brother Wash has reminded me that there are real consequences to this whole ugly business. I will say a prayer this evening, asking God to help the schoolchildren across America by bringing this evil conflict to an end that does not materially adjust the borders.

BTW, I think somebody killed Falso and replaced him with a white guy. Luckily, that doesn't have an economic impact on textbook publishers, so I'm willing to leave that problem in God's hands.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

McCain says Let's fight WORLD WAR THREE!

"Russian President Medvedev and Prime Minister Putin must understand the severe, long-term negative consequences that their government’s actions will have for Russia’s relationship with the U.S....The harder line toward the Kremlin comes as President Bush and, even more, Vice-President Cheney similarly ratchet up their criticism and as key neoconservative thinkers and McCain allies Robert Kagan and Bill Kristol take to the op-ed pages to urge action.

Vote McCain for OPERATION RUSSIAN LIBERATION! Finally I get to leave this hot, stinky Baghdad Green Zone, and yet to work in the nice, cool, Moscow Green Zone.

Get your investments ready for Russian reconstruction contracts! Freedom is on the march!

[tranquill]

Russia-Georgia conflict created a big headache for Israel which armed and trained Georgians for years - and now suddenly Russians threaten retaliation by supplying S-300 SAM batteries to Syria. Here is what a prominent Israeli analyst says: http://samsonblinded.org/blog/on-rus...and-israel.htm

[Tristan1983]

Re: A call for peace between Russia and Georgia

I've done some more research, and it turns out that this war is not happening in the REAL Georgia, but is in fact happening in some nation of plagerists, who stole the intellectual property of the USA when they named their nation "Georgia". (They even ripped off the name of their sea, from the recent Narnia movie: "Caspian Sea")

Now, I'm as opposed to placename-piracy as anyone else, but when choosing sides, we have to look at the big-picture geopolitical strategic facts:



1. Georgia has the only pipeline that can get the "Caspian" sea oil to the west without having to deal with Iranians or Russians. (The only other way is Afganistan, which is too much of a mess, which is Clinton's fault). People take this particular oil very seriously: the largest battle ever fought, the battle of Stalingrad, was fought over it (or maybe because Stalin was so angry about their city plagerizing his name).

2. In order to keep the oil out of ruskie hands, Bush-McCain and fellow neoconservatives want "Georgia" to join NATO as fast as possible.

3. NATO does not accept members with terretorial disputes (such as this Ossetia thing), therefore;

4. "Georgia" is has to completely solve these ancient ethnic disputes in a very short time, and the only way to do that is

5. Ethnic Cleansing; (Which is ugly, and therefore can only be done at a time when the world is destracted, like for example the first day of the Olympics)

6. Though ethnic cleansing gives Russia a perfect excuse to invade "Georgia" and capture the strategic oil pipeline - and they will have an easier time of it because most of Georgia's army is in Iraq (which is also Clinton's fault),

7. Thus counterproductive oil-related meddling which has given us another strategic disaster, which like Iraq is all Clinton's fault.

Which leaves me with the final question: should we keep proving that this is all Clinton's fault, or would it be safer to just keep everyone focused on the Olympics?

Hahahaha. Wow. Way to backtrack on totally mistaking this for an invasion on the United States. Wow..wow. But then of course, you could have been playing devil's advocate..if so, my hat's off to you. But, from the looks of most of the postings around here: I highly doubt it.

Also, the word "Georgia" is Byzantine/Greek and originated long before the state of one of the NEWEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD was founded.