[Nobar King]

Please mind the temporary parking signs in the lot while the asphalt is being repaved.

People using the church parking lot as the school parking lot will be towed. We have people watching, and a tow truck is only minutes away.

Eight new spaces have been added to the plan, plus the pastor's parking has been widened. There is also a covered walkway which will be especially useful on rainy days.



The new access and exit merge lanes should help improve flow on busy Sunday mornings. If people know that it is easier to get out of the lot, they won't be so likely to to race out of the building after the service to try to be the first ones out of the lot. You know who you are.

[Nobar King]

Brothers and sisters, please remember to help us maintain the semblance of organization and peace as you leave Church on Sunday morning. Baby Jesus might be trying to sleep, so please be quiet.

The parking lot is not an invitation to engage in maudlin displays of ostentatious and pretentious expressions of material wealth for people who, in many instances, are honking their automobile's horns at each other in the parking lot a few moments after rushing out of the Church as the pastor gets in his own car.

The pastor's parking space was intentionally placed closest to the exit. Please yield the right-of-way when you see him exiting.

Thank you for your attention.

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Brothers and sisters, please remember to help us maintain the semblance of organization and peace as you leave Church on Sunday morning. Baby Jesus might be trying to sleep, so please be quiet.

Thank you for bring up this issue, Brother Nobar. I have sent 2 letters now to the Pastors and the Town Council, and it has yet to be addressed either from the pulpit or in a newsletter.

When I and many other good True Christians™ leave church, what we want is to quietly reflect on the Holy Revelations we've been made privy to.

The parking lot is not a playground, and the next time I back into an unsupervised, scampering child it could be even more serious than that other incident was. The parking lot is not a singles meat rack, either, for the unmarried to bill and coo and "discuss the sermon". (Discuss that with either your parents or a Pastor or even an elder, if you can't find either. The blind leading the blind won't go far.) The parking lot is not a coffe klatch, in which women may plan their next Bible Study or Sewing Club meeting. And I hate to say this, but it's also not a place, IMHO, for males to discuss sports and chew a dip of snuff as they stand in tight little circles.

The parking lot is church property, and we are still in the Lord's House while on it. Let's act accordingly.

Thank you again for bringing this matter to the congregation's attention.

[Nobar King]

Here's some positive news regarding the Pastors' new parking passes:

Originally posted: May 22, 2009
Landover Pastors' cars to have clout

By Dan Green at 7:06 a.m.
Landover Baptist has succeeded in creating official city placards for the Pastors to place on the dashboard of their vehicles. The placards grant extended parking privileges to the user, for use at meters or restricted residential parking.

"We need these placards so that we can visit with our members for spiritual counseling and not have to worry about worldly affairs such as parking," said Pastor Ezekiel Flint. "I am on a mission from God, and don't have time to drive around looking for parking or worry about whether my parking meter is running out."

Local resident and unrepentant atheist Sam Gemini claims this is just a scam to avoid parking tickets, "have you seen those pastors and their huge Escalades? They drive them three deep and park all day long in a ten minute space, or in a space meant for deliveries, and even in red zones. Now, with these placards, the metermaids don't do anything."

Flint said the sign would also be valuable when he tries to help family members get into event lots that are full. "A lot of times, they won't tell you what's going on. They just say, 'Get back, get back.' even though there are still spaces available. Now I show them my placard and I get in." He added, "the placard is not for avoiding parking meter tickets. I don't even have any parking meters in my neighborhood. This is not for parking meters at all."

Church employees or family members are prohibited from using the placards when driving the Pastor's vehicle, unless they are picking up or dropping off the Pastor. When running errands, other users are required to pay at parking meters.

The City Council voted last year to dramatically raise parking rates as part of a privatization of Freehold's 1,200 meters.

[Nobar King]

Glory Row does not need to look like this. These anti-terror pylons were installed in 2007 and already people are knocking them over. No one wants to see this kind of thing when they visit the church. That should be the one place that you can visit to avoid these kinds of distractions.(Notice how the "wet floor" marker is in English only!")

[Nobar King]

Parking should not be a problem, but it is:

[Mistress Cookie]

Brother Nobar, I'm writing this to you because again, my letters to the Church Pastors have been ignored (or maybe lost).

Last week I arrived early at church to arrange some flowers, and the parking lot was already about 1/3 full. "Good," I thought at first. "Maybe some of the young people can help move these tubs up to the sinks in Workroom 3."

But no one was in the workrooms. What it looks to me like is that a LOT of churchgoers are now parking really early in the church parking lot, in the prime spots near the entryway, then going over in packs to the Goodly Griddle to have breakfast together. The Goodly Griddle has its own parking lot, and I, for one, think they should use that.

Because the result is, Those of us who arrive early for official church business, or to quietly meditate before the service, are forced to park all the way over on the other side of the lot by the dumpsters while those other people are scarfing down hash browns and pecan pancakes.

Would you please see what kind of an announcement can be made about this? Because it just doesn't "seem right".

Thank you.

[SUV]

Christians these days need bigger parking lots. We also need bigger roads!

Jesus was with me in convincing me to take "The Li'l 'Un" out Christmas Shopping this morning instead of one of the larger SUVs.
As you can see (bottom left) all I got was a little fender damage.

When will these silly little ants learn to stay off the roads during Shopping Season?

[James Hutchins]

Goodness gracious Miss Cookie! I hope the incident occurred 'pre' not 'post' latte!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Because the result is, Those of us who arrive early for official church business, or to quietly meditate before the service, are forced to park all the way over on the other side of the lot by the dumpsters while those other people are scarfing down hash browns and pecan pancakes.

Would you please see what kind of an announcement can be made about this? Because it just doesn't "seem right".

Thank you.

Mistress Cookie, my congregation had a similar problem. In fact, for a time, I'd arrive to prepare for service and find someone parked in my reserved space! These folks were parking early, then hauling their corpulent behinds across the road to King Donuts and chowing down on creampies.

I made several announcements, to no avail. Finally, I prayed at the end of a sermon that the Lord would provide guidance or assistance with this problem, and indeed He did! One of the worst offenders, James Waggoner (drives a banana-yellow H2), suffered a heart attack as he waddled back across the street.

When I announced the circumstances to the congregation -- that I'd prayed for help, and that one of the lead offenders soon found himself in the hospital -- I heard gasps of terror from the pews.

The next week, and every week thereafter, both my space and the other reserved and handicap spaces have been vacant when I arrive . . . and the donut-lovers are parked all the way out by the sidewalk!

[Nobar King]

Parking should not be a problem... yet sometimes it is:

[Nobar King]

My letter to the editor of the FTL newspaper from December:

Parking should be free in downtown Freehold during Christmas shopping season

Posted: 11:47 a.m. December 18, 2009
33 Comments.

I have shopped in the downtown Freehold neighborhood for more than 15 years and have never seen the parking meter people as aggressive as I have this month.

Just this week alone I spotted seven local customers receiving parking citations. I even sent an email to the operator of Freehold Hardware after I received a ticket for being 3 minutes over the limit. They need to know why people are going to the HD outside of town instead of shopping locally- parking is a factor.

This is hopefully downtown Freehold's busiest time of year and the retail community needs all the help it can get to keep the customers coming. This is not the way for the city to recoup revenue.

Where is the FDA in all of this? Isn't their purpose to promote the downtown? Free parking for the month of December would be my first suggestion! I personally sent the Mayor an email about this situation but I don't really expect him to respond.


Nobar King
Freehold, IA

I'm hoping they consider a more lenient policy during the next holiday season. With the economy the way it is, the local businesses really need it.

[Johny Joe Hold]

I was in a local cafe the other day, working the room as we politicans say, and visited with a beautiful young lady and her little daughter. The family had just moved to the Freehold area. The little girl was badly disabled.
The mother volunteered that she had heard of Landover Baptist and was considered going to Services this Sunday.
She asked me if there is Parking for the Handicapped. For the life of me, I could not remember.
Could someone post the answer here so I can get back to her. Thanks.

[Cranky Old Man]

Why does she not pray to Jesus Christ to heal her daughter?

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

I was in a local cafe the other day, working the room as we politicans say, and visited with a beautiful young lady and her little daughter. The family had just moved to the Freehold area. The little girl was badly disabled.
The mother volunteered that she had heard of Landover Baptist and was considered going to Services this Sunday.
She asked me if there is Parking for the Handicapped. For the life of me, I could not remember.
Could someone post the answer here so I can get back to her. Thanks.

Johny, you are funny.... handicapped parking. All the extra large spaces are used by the Pastors and Reverends Hummers, Escalades and limos.
There are no ramps leading up the 27 steps as that would ruin the look.

Suggest the heathen look else where for a Church that takes Gods throw-aways.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Thank you, Gentlemen. In retrospect, it was a preposterous request and I should have told them so on the spot. They will be the better for learning the Church's position.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Thank you, Gentlemen. In retrospect, it was a preposterous request and I should have told them so on the spot. They will be the better for learning the Church's position.

Often, the best way for 'those people' to learn is to of just let them show up. But because of traffic, once less car/van the better, so telling them off in advance makes more sense for all the True Christians™.

And Heaven forbid, they think a Pastors parking spot next to the front door is for them!

[Johny Joe Hold]

A sort of related issue came up when I was shaking hands at the Senior Citizen center in Urbandale. A very old man complained about the 27 steps up to the sanctuary. He asked why there isn't an elevator. This time I knew the answer.
I explained that there is a beautiful elevator that goes from ground up to the mega sanctuary. But, it is signed "For Pastors Only".
I gave him the business card of a gym I have a deal with told him this should take care of his problem. He thanked me and I moved on.

[James Hutchins]

I hope you washed your hands after touching him. Old people often have death on them. I recommend avoiding them when possible. But if you have to get close, a mask and gloves are wise.

[Petal]

C

Originally Posted by Mr.Johny Joe Hold

I explained that there is a beautiful elevator that goes from ground up to the mega sanctuary. But, it is signed "For Pastors Only".

you shore you not yappin abouts them stairs that take oldin catlick folk all the way down to hell? i were tolded that it be signeds "momma teresa express" an that sufferin be bootiful, excepts if you be a rich catlicks, cuz then you get to go to a hospitals wiv good medicines an stuff, it true