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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it

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Default Christian porn, libertarianism, Canada, other debates - 11-15-2007, 05:06 AM

From the archives, some old chatroom discussions. What heaven is like, outing psudo-libertarians, and Christian pron:

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: True Christians™ spend eternity sitting on fleecy clouds and dining on milk and honey. And BBQ.

RaptuAIRe: AMEN!

Matt: Will they have potato salad?

sister_rebecca: Mmmmmmmmmm that sounds good, but I can have that here

sister_rebecca: I want Heaven to be something more like...

Matt: RIBS!!!!!!

sister_rebecca: steak and french fries

Matt: Oh my

RaptuAIRe: GLORY! I'm glad I'll be EATING the BBQ instead of BEING the BBQ! THANK YOU JESUS!

Jeb_Thurmond: Heaven must be like a huge BBQ, if the book of Leviticus is accurate (which it is.) It must smell like a huge cattle feedlot that just got napalmed, only even better.

Matt: I'm getting hungry

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: I have to go tell one of the servants to get breakfast on the table.

RaptuAIRe: yes, I mean, since its not required (in most cases)

sister_rebecca: Is it the chineee lady?

Matt: Use your bell pastor

bamagirl: so how come you think heaven is a place to feast?

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I haven't met you, I think. You really from Alabama?

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Ching Lee is SUPPOSED to handle that but she sneaked away somewhere.

bamagirl: I thought it was supposed to be paved with gold and a sexual paradise

Wash_O--39-Hanley: you can't trust asians

Sister_Tinny: SEXUAL paradise?!

Sister_Tinny: sex is dirty and wrong!

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: There is no FORNICATION in heaven!

Sister_Tinny: there will be no sexual desire in heaven
bamagirl: Of course there is.

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, read the book of Revations again!

Matt: someone rebuke that sinner!

Sister_Tinny: no need to reproduce

Sister_Tinny: therefore no sex

RaptuAIRe: *since abortion is not required (in many cases) then we should
at least try to have it banned for the most part, like PResident Bush wants! Like James Dobson, we can help these miscreants for a minor love offering


RaptuAIRe: JESUS hates SEX

bamagirl: don;t you people look at art? Most artists render heaven as a place with naked men and women commiting all sorts of perverted acts on each other

RaptuAIRe: Do you think JESUS had SEX???????

RaptuAIRe: Artists are HOMERS

bamagirl: according to the "DaVinci Code", yes

RaptuAIRe: all they can think about is fornication!

Sister_Tinny: oh, my lord...

bamagirl: Mary Magdeline


RaptuAIRe: *GASP*

Matt: DaVinci was a homer

RaptuAIRe: Fornication is only for procreation so that we can multiply and subdue the earth

Jeb_Thurmond: Abortion is only permissible if the husband accuses the woman of cheating, and the abortion must be performed by a Christian
pastor. It's written in Exodus. All other abortion is murder.

Matt: It's ok as long as all the lights are out and you're just trying to reproduce.

RaptuAIRe: PRAISE THE LORD, Brother Jeb!!!!!!!!!

Sister_Tinny: does the woman actually have to have cheated?

sister_rebecca: I am getting sick to my stomach listening to this garbage about our dear Jesus!

Sister_Tinny: or does the husband just have to accuse her?

sister_rebecca: Rap, enemies can bash the pregnant women on rocks to kill the unborn.

Matt: If the husband accuses her then it's probably true

Jeb_Thurmond: I'm thinking we need a way to bring more unsaved heathens to this forum so we can witness to them. How about a post in which we provide illustrations for the Song of Solomon?

Sister_Tinny: (though there's no reason why a Godly husband would lie)

RaptuAIRe: Although, I think abortions are permissable when invading Mudslimoidian places, like PAlestine and Iran aren't they?

Sister_Tinny: certainly RaptuAIRe, since you'll be killing them all anyway

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Friends, we cannot condone abortion. What the Bible tells us is that the child doesn't count for the first 30 days after it is born and can be drowned or whatever until it is a month old.

Prayerforever: PRAISE! and hit that PayPal button!

Sister_Tinny: but that IS abortion, Pastor

Matt: Those sand monkeys shouldn't be allowed to breed

Sister_Tinny: at least the way the Democrats would have it

RaptuAIRe: but, Pastor Al, you would agree it'd be better to put the child into the care of LBC Homes for Children, right?

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: As long as they aren't retards, sure.

Jeb_Thurmond: The point is that we are NOT pro-choice. We are pro-GOD'S CHOICE.

RaptuAIRe: well, I understand we have a special retard facility

Matt: We ARE still talking about little white babies right?

Sister_Tinny: yes.

RaptuAIRe: somewhere else

RaptuAIRe: obviously, Matt

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Yes, Jesus needs warriors to kill the mudslums

Sister_Tinny: but it's ABORTION if the child is killed between conception and birth

BibleThumpinBlonde: Tator gives me enough trouble. Last thing I want in my house is another back talking rum stealing brat

RaptuAIRe: I think the plan is to allow mulattos to be raised as servants since they are unadoptable

Sister_Tinny: infanticide is no problem

Matt: Rap, they can practice serving over at the tard facility

sister_rebecca: Jeb, we already have at least ONE heathen here.

Sister_Tinny: (I'm not pregnant)

RaptuAIRe: Matt: NO! We aren't allowed to touch something that has touched a retard!

RaptuAIRe: *AGASP*

sister_rebecca: I haven't seen her say anything though. Maybe God is bugging her computer

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, judging by your behavior I fear you might be a succubus. Our good friends have written a page about them here: http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/incubus.htm

RaptuAIRe: I don't want to go to Hell for slapping my negroidian servant across the face because he had touched a retard!

Sister_Tinny: so when you know it's a retard, abortion is justified?

Sister_Tinny: that's what Democrats say!

Matt: Good point brother Rap

RaptuAIRe: no, but we have a special place

RaptuAIRe: where retards are sent

Jeb_Thurmond: Only if the retard is called a bastard by the husband.

Sister_Tinny: a special Retard facility for Retards?

RaptuAIRe: I think there's something about it on the main page

Sister_Tinny: i'm so confused.

bamagirl: they are called "disabled". Not retards.

Sister_Tinny: there needs to be an abortion post

bamagirl: I am more of a siren, Jeb.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Friends, friends! Please! Why all this talk about
retards? Let us think of ways to kill mudslums.

Sister_Tinny: that explains the democrats' position and ours

Jeb_Thurmond: The Biblical term is not "disabled" but "blemished" as in "no one with a blemish may approach the altar"

sister_rebecca: Here here Pastor!

Matt: disabled.... retard... tard... slow

RaptuAIRe: aren't mudslimes retards?

Matt: same thing

Sister_Tinny: yes, in the eyes of God

Sister_Tinny: and in the eyes of history

RaptuAIRe: that's what I thought

Sister_Tinny: they are still riding donkeys and camels

sister_rebecca: You know, if we blow up all of the printing places, there would be no one left to print that horrible book of theirs.

RaptuAIRe: i mean, they worship a black box

sister_rebecca: Then we can just find them and tear them up.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Mudslimes are semi-darkies so they are automatically retards.

RaptuAIRe: true

RaptuAIRe: sand kneegrows

sister_rebecca: After all, we have enough KJV's in the basement

Sister_Tinny: I'm going to India next year to evangelize the masses. How much should I charge for Bibles?

sister_rebecca: we can go around ripping that q'ran thingy up and handing out the Good Book.

sister_rebecca: I think your color is just you.

sister_rebecca: It lets you know what you say LOL

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: India! What horrors await you!

bamagirl: yeah, mine is blue

Jeb_Thurmond: By the way, here is the biblical scripture in which Moses tells his pastors to preform abortions: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?searc...205;&version=31

Sister_Tinny: no kidding. I'll bring a few guns just in case

bamagirl: you CHARGE for bibles?

bamagirl: I thought you wanted to spread the word, not sell it

Sister_Tinny: If we don't charge for Bibles, then the natives will use it as firewood

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Our bibles are CERTIFIED to prevent sin. Of course we charge for them.

Sister_Tinny: we have to cover our costs too!

Matt: Let make a pile and have them blessed by some holy flames.

sister_rebecca: Maybe about $50. That would cover the cost of getting
them there and you can give them a free rock with every purchase.

sister_rebecca: the rock can be used to stone sinners of course

Sister_Tinny: good idea

Sister_Tinny: maybe i can charge on a per-book basis, too

RaptuAIRe: give LBC approved Bibles away? *GASP*

bamagirl: a free rock? In india?

BibleThumpinBlonde: If I were preaching to the Indians it would be hard for me to refrain from picking at the dots on their foreheads

RaptuAIRe: JESUS weeps at the idea!

bamagirl: that is crazy

Matt: Add in a stick of underarm deodorant for those dotheads. PeeeeYeeeww

bamagirl: well those people, the Gideons give away bibles all the time

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: My bible is gold-leafed and covered in baby sealskin. It cost the flock over $5,000. But it is one of my necessities, like this house, the limo and the jet.

Sister_Tinny: the good thing about India is that many of them speak God's language already.

Sister_Tinny: (though they've allowed some satanic vocabulary to seep in)

bamagirl: a jet? that is one I hadn't heard before

Sister_Tinny: what about the holycopter, pastor?

Sister_Tinny: who pays for that?

sister_rebecca: That was a gift I think

Matt: Pastors have needs

sister_rebecca: From one of the platinum tithers.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Landover has a fleet of five Grumman Gulfstrean Fives. I am allowed the exclusive use of one of them.

bamagirl: what are those?

Sister_Tinny: bama...would you be impressed if one of your evilution professors started prattling his nonsense wearing only tattered rags?

Matt: No Sabreliner?

Sister_Tinny: no. we need to evangelize in style

<BibleThumpinBlonde> sent sound: screech

Sister_Tinny: So people will be impressed by the wealth Jesus provides.

bamagirl: I would not be impressed. I would be sympathetic and give him some clothes


RaptuAIRe: I believe I saw where LBC was ordering a fleet of HolyCopters for all the pastoral staff?

Sister_Tinny: You are a fool.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Sabreliners are for evangelists. We are REAL Christians!

BibleThumpinBlonde: PRAISE!

RaptuAIRe: because we had to special order the guns

RaptuAIRe: they wanted

Sister_Tinny: Anyway, I must go. I have a prayer meeting.

bamagirl: no, you are the fool. believing in a mythical creature. Why not believe in unicorns or Yetis while you are at it?

Sister_Tinny: Take care fellow Christians™

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Aloha Tinny

Sister_Tinny: bama...because the Bible says so. End of discussion.

RaptuAIRe: its hard to silence those big guns....only the US Military can do i
RaptuAIRe: t

RaptuAIRe: by Sister Tinny! GLORY!




bamagirl: where is that Jeb?

Sister_Tinny has left.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Listen to me Bama! You are sliding headfirst into SATAN'S huge, barbed tallywhacker!

Matt: WOW

Matt: http://www.peterpopoff.org/

bamagirl: ~~once again, I have yet to see where your great and wonderful book mentions getting raped by a barbed thingy

Matt: Free miracle spring water!!!!!!!

Jeb_Thurmond: Sometimes found with two horns (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies (Psalms 22:21)
The young of, remarkable for agility (Psalms 29:6)
Generally had a single horn (Psalms 92:10)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies . (The position of its horns,) of the exaltation of saints (Psalms 92:10)
DESCRIBED AS » Intractable in disposition (Job 39:9,10,12)
DESCRIBED AS » Of vast strength (Job 39:11)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of God as the strength of Israel (Numbers 23:22;24:8)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of the wicked (Isaiah 34:7)
Jeb_Thurmond: ^^^^^ From BIblegateway's topical index

Matt: My devine transfer is on it's way

Jeb_Thurmond: Sorry to spam, but I get very angry when others claim to know more about the Bible than us!

bamagirl: horns are also those things used to make the "charge" call when in battle


BibleThumpinBlonde: Horns are also what Satan and his minions will be poking you with

BibleThumpinBlonde: for ALL ETERNITY!

sister_rebecca: Matt, just that man's NAME sends me into mouth-frothing, epileptic seizures of disgust.

Matt: BTB... did you get your miracle spring water yet?

BibleThumpinBlonde: DId you send me some?

Matt: http://www.peterpopoff.org/

BibleThumpinBlonde: how thoughtful of you

bamagirl: ok fine. Then I guess I will just be having lots of satanic sex and be gored with horns all the time for all eternity

Matt: put you speakers on and listen to that colored lady's testimonial

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, please read the Bible, or at least trust that we have! Please tell me that at least you're a republican!

BibleThumpinBlonde: He has lovely music when his home page opens. He
looks like Satan

sister_rebecca: ummm no thanks

BibleThumpinBlonde: Bammy Hell is no laughing matter

sister_rebecca: That name makes me want to vomit.

Matt: He's a kraut

bamagirl: I am a libertarian.

sister_rebecca: Peter pops off

sister_rebecca: *shiver*

sister_rebecca: Revolting.

BibleThumpinBlonde: I bet he does pop off. He looks like a homer

sister_rebecca: Libertarians will all burn in Hell.

sister_rebecca: Republicans are God's own party.

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, that only gives you half-points.

bamagirl: Most people in this country are libertarians and just don't know it.

Matt: We should start bottling up some of the water that flows through our church parking lot.

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, at least you agree with us that people were better off during the 1890's

sister_rebecca: No, that water is tainted. We should bottle the sewage though.

bamagirl: Wasn't that after slavery?

bamagirl: I thought you were all wanting to re-instate that.

Matt: Peter Hilter there seems to be selling a lot of that stuff.

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, learn some history! Of course it was!

bamagirl: well then why was it so much better? Hmmm? Thought you WANTED slavery.

bamagirl: then by saying that you would think that the early 1800's were better

Jeb_Thurmond: No, we just want negros to work under the same conditions our mexicans workers do.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: The Bible specifies that slavery is fine with God.

Matt: We could say a certain portian of the proceeds go to the little homeless children in Ethopia.

Jeb_Thurmond: Illegal immigrants have the ideal labor conditions and wages. Darkies are being spoiled by socialism.

sister_rebecca: Well, we have missionaries there don't we Pastor? It WOULD be going to Ethiopia.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We are testing some new drugs in Ethiopia and Somalia. Aids drugs, and some other contageous stuff.

sister_rebecca: I say we round up the illegals and make them the slaves of the 21st century.

bamagirl: I wondered why the aids epidemic was so rampant over there.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We have some.....er.....medical people there, yes.

bamagirl: now I know

Jeb_Thurmond: Anyway, any libertarian can agree that States Rights and property rights were violently overthrown by Lincolns omnipotent state and therefore the blacks still belong to their white owners

bamagirl: I should report you to the CDC

RaptuAIRe: Medical Missionaries!


Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: You should pray that we don't make you a test case.

bamagirl: those black people and those owners have long been dead

RaptuAIRe: We should report you to the Department of Faith-Based Homeland Security

Jeb_Thurmond: Us whites losing our inherited slaves is just another form of the evil death-tax. This must be corrected!


RaptuAIRe: basically, since all GODLY white Southerners who had slaves can trace their lineage back

bamagirl: anyone here pro-fair-tax?

RaptuAIRe: we simply trace it back to 1865

Matt: You notice there's no bird flu in Ethopia. A bird doesn't stand a chance around those savages.

bamagirl: what is the death tax?

RaptuAIRe: then, we enslave all the darkies

RaptuAIRe: and divide them up equally amongst the descendants

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: All tax is fair tax. We are a church. We are tax-exempt.

Jeb_Thurmond: Inheritence tax! We inherited those black slaves, and the government stealing them from us is a form of inheritecne tax!

sister_rebecca: I have heard of the fair tax law. I think it is a waste of time.

RaptuAIRe: that's the only real reparations that need to be done

RaptuAIRe: My ancestors paid good money for those slaves

bamagirl: what is death tax jeb>?

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, is your father a millionaire?

Matt: Rap, didn't the government pay you for that?

bamagirl: as did mine, but I refuse to make an issue out of something that happened so far in the past it is laughable to bring it back up now

bamagirl: yes he is actually

Matt: fair is fair

bamagirl: well, my grandfather is

Jeb_Thurmond: If he is, the government will tax the money you wouldotherwise inherit! That's like expecting you to work for your own money, like someone Jesus hasn't blessed!

bamagirl: and? I can live with that

<Matt> sent sound: cow

bamagirl: after they get their cut the rest is mine to do with as I please

Jeb_Thurmond: YOu can live with taxes? You're no libertarian!

Matt: Jean's home

BibleThumpinBlonde: Jean?

BibleThumpinBlonde: LOL

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Lookit, it's still an issue. There hasn't been a government in Somalia for ten years. All the darkies get drugged up and drive around killing each other. They NEED to be.....guided...

bamagirl: yes I am. I believe government has a place.

bamagirl: guided to what?

sister_rebecca: AMEN PASTOR!

Jeb_Thurmond: Yes, but that's darkies in somolia. If whites where in Sololia the lack of government would have resulted in a paradise.

BibleThumpinBlonde: I think it's a blessing when nigs shoot other nigs

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Guided to a horsewhip and shown how to pick cotton.

Matt: guided to the business end of a 50 cal sniper rifle

sister_rebecca: We should round them all up, drop them off in Manhattan and let them kill each other off.

BibleThumpinBlonde: AMEN!

bamagirl: cotton? that is not even much of an industry here in the south any more.

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Somalia is a GREAT opportunity for someone. Just get the guns away from them and set 'em to work mining uranium.

Matt: BTB... in the resturant business when there's a shift change at Popeyes we call that "re-nig"

BibleThumpinBlonde: Shoot my nig help would barely pick the cotton out of an asprin bottle

RaptuAIRe: Friend, I used to live in the eastern part of NC, they still have lots of cotton there

RaptuAIRe: I had to fire all my kneegrows

bamagirl: I didn't say it wasn't here. it is just not BIG here.

RaptuAIRe: I have an entire staff of messycant's

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl are you libertarian on the issue of gun ownership?

BibleThumpinBlonde: LOL Brother Matt, I like that

bamagirl: it is far cheaper to get it elsewhere

bamagirl: I love guns

bamagirl: I have 3

RaptuAIRe: 3? is that all?

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We all love guns. But onlt 3?

RaptuAIRe: I know 4 year olds with a larger collection than that

sister_rebecca: Brother Rap, if they are messycan'ts then you need some MessyCANS

Jeb_Thurmond: I believe every US citizen (read: CHRISTIAN) has the right to own nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons. We have a right to bear arms

sister_rebecca: LOL

BibleThumpinBlonde: AMEN!

sister_rebecca: Only 3? What kind of woman only has *3* guns?!

RaptuAIRe: I've already bought 2 dozen guns for my first born, whenever he is born

bamagirl: only!?!!! You all have MORE than that?

Jeb_Thurmond: Wimpy little guns can't stop the next hitler from taking away your rights. The omnipotendt state has nuclear-armed missles! Freedom-loving citizens need more firepower!

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Not so loud, Jeb. No one knows about the emichalcans.

bamagirl: 2 DOZEN!!

Matt: There's not really a challenge to shooting Somalians what with those big old heads and all. Kinda takes the fun outta it.

BibleThumpinBlonde: try shooting just a limb

Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has left.

RaptuAIRe: he has a 50 cal and a BEAUTIFUL vintage WWII German Waffen-SS rifle that was used by a concentration camp guard

RaptuAIRe: not even born yet!

BibleThumpinBlonde: GLORY!

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, can two-dozen peashooters stop a stealth-bomber loaded with nukes? This is the omnipotent state we're talking about! Only weaponized anthrax can protect your home and family

RaptuAIRe: my wife and I haven't even fornicated yet!

RaptuAIRe: I built a nuclear missile silo next to my house, just waiting for the OK to buy one!

Matt: There is no greater feeling in the world than looking through the scope of a 50 cal sniper rifle and KNOWING that everything within a mile radius lives only because you allow it to. PRAISE JESUS!!!!

bamagirl: this talk about weapons is giving me a headache

RaptuAIRe: GLORY Brother Matt!

Jeb_Thurmond: Matt, the omnipotent state has bomb shelters to protect the IRS and other sinners. You need real firepower!

bamagirl: are you saying you want to blow up the world

bamagirl: ?>

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, are you saying you want to blow up people's
heads because you like guns?

sister_rebecca: Only the non-believers

RaptuAIRe: When my son is 3 years old, I want him to feel how you can lightly tap the trigger on a German WWII MP40 and dispatch 10 vermin to hell!

Jeb_Thurmond: So why do you say we're genocideal just because we believe in a citizens right to weaponized anthrax?

bamagirl: my guns are my business. I use them to shoot targets, not people

bamagirl: it is a sport to me

Matt: Agreed Brother Jeb... I have looked into a decomissioned sub

bamagirl: not blood-thirsty stuff

RaptuAIRe: what I shoot with mine is a sport to me

bamagirl: shooting people is not sport. it is murder

bamagirl: they have jails for people like you

RaptuAIRe: only if they are people...

Jeb_Thurmond: Bio-weapon vials are a sport too. You can look at the germs through a microscope

Matt: those are YOUR laws, not ours

sister_rebecca: I am back. What did I miss?

RaptuAIRe: messycans, darkies, and goths aren't people

bamagirl: excuse me, matt, but even your precious bible says you have to obey the laws of the land

RaptuAIRe: and sand kneegrows

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, why do you hate our second amendment rights? Why do you want to allow hitler, stalin and pol pot to take over america? Why do you hate america? is it the freedom?

bamagirl: and the laws of the land say they ARE people and killing is punsihable by jail or death

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I OBEY THE LAWS. I just want to change the laws, JUST LIKE YOUR LIBERTARIAN PARTY!

sister_rebecca: Do you really think they are PEOPLE?

Matt: bamaslut, add chapter and verse when you quote the Bible!

bamagirl: yes they ARE

bamagirl: ooooh name calling. is that the best you can do?

sister_rebecca: Matt, we don't tolerate words like that, even if it IS towards a heathen.

Matt: I meant to type "girl" but my fingers were directed elsewhere

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I'm not calling you a gun-grabbing freedom-hater, I'm just saying that you're not much of a libertarian.

RaptuAIRe: she obviously isn't a libertarian

bamagirl: libertarians believe that government has a place in society, but not too much place.

bamagirl: I believe that

RaptuAIRe: the government should stay out of our personal lives (except to make sure that everyone lives up to Biblical standards, naturally)

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, even the democrats believe that! Be more specific!

RaptuAIRe: so I should be able to kill a sand kneegrow

RaptuAIRe: but shouldn't be allowed to ever fornicate

bamagirl: just becaise I don't believe bits and pieces of certain issues does not make me a non-libertarian

RaptuAIRe: (except for procreation)

sister_rebecca: *sigh* This is getting nowhere.

sister_rebecca: Please be spedific dear.

Matt: I heard in the news where libertarians want to marry each other now. Where is the sanctity of the Holy matrimony?
bamagirl: fine

Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, what is the correct role of government? Enlighten us

bamagirl: I think people should not have to pay taxes on income and then turn around and pay it AGAIN when they buy stuff. I think taxes and government are necessary to keep peace and order, but I do not think they need to "govern" every little thing I do and say and think and feel.

bamagirl: I should be able to love, marry, worship, work, and play how I want.

RaptuAIRe: satanist

bamagirl: satanist believe in satan. if satan is of god, then by saying i am a satanist you are saying i believe in god, which I do not

Jeb_Thurmond: I used to own a hamburger joint before the omnipotent state shut me down for violating their excessive regulations. I provided a low-cost food product made with rancid meat, animal shelter leftovers, and once a body someone thought theu were donating to science. You agree that having my business shut down was a example of exessive government, yes?

bamagirl: no. it was shut down for the right reasons, but they should have kept their noses out of it. If people want to buy rancid low cost food, they should be able to

bamagirl: they take their lives in their own hands by doing so. i don't have to buy it. that is my choice

Jeb_Thurmond: Good. After all, a place that sells rancid meat would eventually run out of customers once they all die.

sister_rebecca: EEEeeeeeeeewww Jeb!

Jeb_Thurmond: And you also agree that truth in advertising and labelling laws are an assualt on free speach?

sister_rebecca: Animal shelter leftovers?

bamagirl: I am wishy-washy on that one. There is no REAL truth in advertising after all.

Jeb_Thurmond: Actually, the main ingredient was roadkill. Not that I advertised that, of course

bamagirl: If there was, this site would say "Beware, once you come in, you will be attacked and slaughtered"

sister_rebecca: Oh Jeb! I am going to go vomit now.

sister_rebecca: Thanks a lot!

<Matt> sent sound: wookie

Matt: Jean is hungry again

sister_rebecca: Didn't you bring some of your "specialties" to one potluck?

BibleThumpinBlonde: Jean?

Matt: Time for a feeding. Back in a bit.

RaptuAIRe: sounds like he owned a McDonalds?

Jeb_Thurmond: Geez, rebecca, It's not like I used every one of the illegal immigrants who died in the factory next door! I left out the ones that died of sickness rather than accidents


Jeb_Thurmond: Anyway Bamagirl, let's talk abotu Somolia. I've been on safari there several times, and it fits the Libertarian party platform to a T. Have you ever visited your utopia?

sister_rebecca: I am still unclear on Matt. Is he feeding someone's backside?

bamagirl: Nope and neither have you.

bamagirl: But I have never been outside the U.S.

bamagirl: so I can't say that I know much about other countries

bamagirl: I have not been there. I take the media with a grain of salt

sister_rebecca: Ok, Landover's finest (and not so finest)

sister_rebecca: I must go. You have a wonderful blessed day now!

Jeb_Thurmond: Somolia and many third-world countries have hardly any government at all. That's why I like to visit them so often. You can just smell the freedom int he air. People work "the way they choose" as you put it.

bamagirl: bye sister

sister_rebecca has left.

Jeb_Thurmond: If you decide to join the church you can come with me on my next trip to Darfur.

bamagirl: Wait, I never said government didn't need to be there to instill order

Jeb_Thurmond: Oh, instilling order is what 3rd world government do best!

bamagirl: isn't that where so many thousands were killed?

bamagirl: order, not feart

bamagirl: fear*

Jeb_Thurmond: Ever seen how they deal with protests and strikes? BLAMBLAMBLAM!

bamagirl: no I haven't.

bamagirl: media again

bamagirl: look, I hate talking politics and I am not sure how we got on the subject to begin with

bamagirl: i just came to see what you people talk about when you get together

Jeb_Thurmond: Let me put it this way, you won't find many unions in Sierra Leone!

bamagirl: apparently nothing exciting

Jeb_Thurmond: Okay Bamagirl, let's talk about your favorite subject

bamagirl: well we dont live there. we live here

Jeb_Thurmond: What's your favorite subject?

bamagirl: and here we have a government that has checks and balances

bamagirl: at least for now

bamagirl: horses

Jeb_Thurmond: Oh yeah, they have great meat in them. Too expensive
most of the time, though

bamagirl: yeah taco bell serves grade F meat. horse meat

bamagirl: hooves and tendons

bamagirl: jello

Jeb_Thurmond: Except when there's a disease scare, like foot and mouth disease, or that mad cow thing

bamagirl: still like them anyway

bamagirl: to ride, look at, eat

bamagirl: feed to my dogs...

bamagirl: whatever

bamagirl: you won't offend me or horrify me with talk about eating horses

bamagirl: or babies

Jeb_Thurmond: Grade F? Stupid government meat inspecters. what do they know?

bamagirl: mad COW not mad horse

RaptuAIRe: you were horrified at the idea of killing babies but you don't mind eating them???

bamagirl: i never said I was horrified. I just said you were insane

bamagirl: and disgusting

Prayerforever has left.

Prayerforever has joined.

bamagirl: and eating babies that are dead is not the same as killing them

bamagirl: and i am sure at some point in time there were babies that were eaten in an effort to stay alive

bamagirl: and that does not horrify me either

Prayerforever: GLORY!

bamagirl: it is natural to want to survive at any cost

Jeb_Thurmond: Yeah, eating babies is a common punishment inflicted by God upon his followers when they stray.

Prayerforever: yeah

bamagirl: i see

bamagirl: so do they have to eat babies? are they someone else's or their own? Or do they have to watch someone else eat theirs?

bamagirl: I was raised Baptist, so don't lie

Jeb_Thurmond: Eating one's own babies, that is. Eating ground-up fetuses from an abortion clinic is just a low-cost alternative to the overpriced fast food joints

bamagirl: yeah that guy was shut down. pity

bamagirl: good alternative to having to pay someone for clean up

Jeb_Thurmond: Levitcus 26:14 But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments; 15 And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: ... 29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

bamagirl: so what if it is a married couple?

bamagirl has left.

Jeb_Thurmond: Deuteronomy 28:15 But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: ... 53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters

RaptuAIRe: GLORY! Such inspiring scriptures!

Jeb_Thurmond: So anyway, I'm thinking we could have an illustrated Song of Solomon article, which we advertise far and wide. it will bring sinners to Jesus like flies to Baamgirls' loins!

Prayerforever: Oh my GOD! Just turned on the TV after few days an guess what is on? Pure porn! I think I should get rid of the TV at all.

Jeb_Thurmond: Other than Fox news and the 700 club there's no reason to have a TV at all.

RaptuAIRe: Jeb, that thread sounds like a good idea!

Prayerforever: so disgusting yuck

Matt: Oh GLORY!

Jeb_Thurmond: Yes, I'm thinking of the details right now. It will have to be softcore, of course

RaptuAIRe: Song of Solomon is an inspiring scripture

RaptuAIRe: yeah

Prayerforever: Not just porn! LESBIAN PORN!

Prayerforever: thats it

Prayerforever: TV goes to bin

Matt: *GASP*

Matt: drown it

Jeb_Thurmond: I suppose we could go aroudn posting at sinner's forums, with "OMG WTF ROTFLLMAO CHRISTIAN PR0N!!1111" and a link to the thread. It would result in legions of potential converts.

Matt: LOL

Matt: Sounds like a plan Jeb

Prayerforever: true Brother jeb

Prayerforever: I know few

Prayerforever: google word forums and many comes up

RaptuAIRe: JESUS loves us

Matt: he really does

Prayerforever: And we love JESUS!

RaptuAIRe: HIS love is so strong for us

RaptuAIRe: that if we don't do every single thing HE tells us to do, HE sends us straight to hell! GLORY!

Jeb_Thurmond: Like I said, it will bring sinners to Christ's blood like flies to Bamagirl's slimey, pulsating hell-hole

Matt: yuck


RaptuAIRe: yes it will

Jeb_Thurmond: Ug, i have to get that image out of my mind. Ug,, too much flirting today

Prayerforever: ( o )( o )

RaptuAIRe: what is that supposed to be?

Prayerforever: eyes what else?

Matt: I hope that eyeballs

Jeb_Thurmond: I know, I'll google image search for "Song of Solomon" and see if there are already images for us to use

Matt: ah

RaptuAIRe: ok, good

BibleThumpinBlonde: BROTHER PRAYER there are Christain women in here

BibleThumpinBlonde: ( * )( * )

Matt: I was looking for a recipe for spagetti for church and I got some demonic flying monster.

Prayerforever: Sister BTB and what do Christian women has against eyes?

RaptuAIRe: *GASP* you offended Sister Thumper and just a couple of hours ago I cleaned my eyes out with bull urine and chlorine

RaptuAIRe: today's too much

BibleThumpinBlonde: nothing, I miss read it

BibleThumpinBlonde: poor Brother Rap


BibleThumpinBlonde: my sincerest appologies

VGRID101 has joined.

RaptuAIRe: Bro. V! GLORY to GOD!

Prayerforever: Hello Brother V!

BibleThumpinBlonde: Good Afternoon Brother V

Jeb_Thurmond: Wow, I googled searched for Song of Solomon images but hardly anything showed up. I suppose I'll have to consult the box of confiscated smut in the security room

VGRID101: hi all

RaptuAIRe: Jeb, I think the liebral Christians sometimes call it "Song of Songs"

BibleThumpinBlonde: please excuse me for a moment

Jeb_Thurmond: I googled that too, a bit more images, but nothing useful

VGRID101: useful???

VGRID101: heheh

Jeb_Thurmond: Yeah, I'm thinking an illustrated Song of Solomon might be just the thing to bring potential converts into Christ's forum


Here's my final message to Bamagirl:

Bamagirl, I know you don't like talking about politics, but nobody likes to continue a debate which they have lost. Well, you may have lost the debate, but you have not yet lost your soul, (assuming that the rapture has not occured by the time you're reading this).

LBC, while a True American™ Republican Church, could also be interpreted as libertarian. After all, we never initiate force against anybody, it's always God initiating the force, with us merely as His humble tools. Also, there is sometimes suicide, such as when gays commit suicide using Landover Baptists as their tools. The Bible states this clearly where it says gays "shall be put to death, their blood shall be upon them" - that is, it's their fault that they're dead, so in short their homosexual activity is not only an abonmation, it's also suicide.

BAMbamthankyoumAMAGIRL defines Libertarianism as "I should be able to love, marry, worship, work, and play how I want."

That's not the definition, however. If I want to "play as I want" and the game I want to play is "flap my arms and fly around the sun" I'm not able to play that game. Is it illegal? No. It's just that the gravity, and the laws of physics, hold me back. And who wrote the laws of physics? God did. Thus, in the libertarian paradise of True Christian™ America, there will still be laws, but they will just be the laws of physics: action: jump off a cliff. Reaction: you fall. Action: you commit adomnations. Reaction: you have forced someone to neutralize you.

When America becomes a True Christian™ nation, there will be no laws enforced by man, only sins, punished by God using His humble tools, which will usually be private security companies, private militias, and well-armed pastors. Of course, there will be kings (King George and King Richard) but they will also only be tools of the King of Kings, our Lord Jesus.

BAM-bam-thank-youmAMAGIRL may be partly on her way to Salvation™, but can she really make it to the finish line before the rapture sweeps the lambs of Christ away? Her commitment to libertarianism is obviously wavering, she hasn't even heard of the death tax, and has some weird statist opinions, like believing that it was right that my restaurant be shut down, "though they should keep their noses out of it"? Huh? If their nose was not in, they would not have smelt the roadkilled skunk meat and I would not have been shut down.

Also, she seems to think of guns as some sort of toy, rather than the only thing standing between law-abiding citizens and an orgy of crime and tyranny. She should take a look at gun control nations like Canada and Europe: every one of them a dictatorship with violent crime rates 10 times that of America. I still can't get the images out of my mind during that horrible missionary attempt I made at Denmark and Sweden: the starved corpses lying dead in the gutter, the hollow eyes of the near-dead malnurished children, not even with enough energy to beg me for food scraps. Yes, visiting the hell-holes that are the "social democrat" nations will teach her to take politics more seriously
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it

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Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian porn, libertarianism, Canada, other debates - 11-15-2007, 05:15 AM

Debate with a Canadian:

Nice_Canadian: how is canada a 3rd world country
Jeb_Thurmond: Of course Canada is a third world country
Nice_Canadian: how
Nice_Canadian: i mean nice cities
Nice_Canadian: hell are economy is better then yours
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh yeah, your igloo factories are working overtime I'm sure
VGRID101: how's the "getting oil from sand" going?
Nice_Canadian: uh no
Nice_Canadian: infact i build custom cars
Jeb_Thurmond: Did you know that in Canada they can't even afford a new newscaster for their news program, so they use a sock puppet named "Ed" instead?
VGRID101: yes, canadia is know for it's automobiles... like the... (can someone help me here)
Nice_Canadian: and hows invading innocent countries for oil
Nice_Canadian: we watch cnn
Matt: aw2esome
Nice_Canadian: ya right
Nice_Canadian: pat robertson is a lying %%%%%%%
VGRID101: True Christians ™ watch fox
Matt: look @ cnn right now
Nice_Canadian: fox is biased
Nice_Canadian: and they hate canada
Jeb_Thurmond: And your stupid green-haired sock puppet isn't?
Nice_Canadian: everyone loves canda cpet u hicks
VGRID101: biased towards the TRUTH ®
Matt: canadians are sneaky
Nice_Canadian: what sports do you approve
Jeb_Thurmond: Hunting
VGRID101: when you say everyone.. is that all inclusive, cuz right now, i see 4 people in chat, who DON'T love canadia...
VGRID101: time for me to go witness, i'll be back later... PRAISE JESUS!!!!
VGRID101 has left.
Nice_Canadian: and i said cept you hicks
Jeb_Thurmond: "Bodily exercise profiteth little" - God
Matt: dog is barking... there's a colored up a tree again.... brb
Jeb_Thurmond: They did a poll and something like 30% of the USA wanted to invade Canada. I might google search it.
Matt has left.
Nice_Canadian: jeb come on that's racist
Nice_Canadian: and bush bends the facts
Jeb_Thurmond: Canadians are a race now?
Nice_Canadian: no blacks are
Nice_Canadian: mexicans are
Nice_Canadian: why must you use slurs
Jeb_Thurmond: It's called tough love
Nice_Canadian: racial slurs make jesus cry
MoonFlower13 has joined.
Nice_Canadian: hey someone smart joined
Jeb_Thurmond: Point me to the place in the Bible where it says that.
MoonFlower13: *looks around*
MoonFlower13: who?
Nice_Canadian: nvm
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We don't use slurs, pal. We aren't racist. Darkies is darkies. God made 'em that way. No use calling them Cubans.
MoonFlower13: aw, don't give up!
Matt has joined.
MoonFlower13: you can do it!
Nice_Canadian: the bible is not a historical or science book it is a book of religous trutjhs
MoonFlower13: what's the debate about boys?
Matt: POT SMOKER!!!!
Nice_Canadian: me im an egoholic
Matt: Hiya hippy
MoonFlower13: alcoholic?
MoonFlower13: hello matt
Jeb_Thurmond: Religious truths ARE scientific and historical truths.
Nice_Canadian: they hate me cuz im canadian
MoonFlower13: lol
Matt: hello child
Nice_Canadian: no!
Nice_Canadian: evolutin exists
Nice_Canadian: thats my belief
Matt: shut up moose lover
Jeb_Thurmond: Canada is a 3rd world dictatorship where criminals control the streets. I've never been there, but I know what gun control and socialism do to countries.
MoonFlower13: moose are cute
Nice_Canadian: ah my wife candice hates you too god bess her
Nice_Canadian: bless
MoonFlower13: hehehe
Nice_Canadian: shes so smart
MoonFlower13: hate is a bad word
Matt: moonweed? have you ever been to canaduh
MoonFlower13: nope
Nice_Canadian: ok strongly disapproves
Jeb_Thurmond: The Bible uses the word "abhor"
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: I flew over it once when we were testing Agent Orange.
Jeb_Thurmond: Sorry, "utterly abhor"
Nice_Canadian: that's a weird word
MoonFlower13: lol
Nice_Canadian: so jeb youre a sherrif right
Matt: *erp*
Matt: %%%% Jean stepped on the cat again... gotta go
Nice_Canadian: i know canda's great
Matt has left.
Nice_Canadian: i have a cat too
MoonFlower13: so canada, you're onviously not christian. what are you?
MoonFlower13: I have 4 cats
MoonFlower13: hehehe
Nice_Canadian: im catholic
Nice_Canadian: so im christina
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has left.
Nice_Canadian: christian
MoonFlower13: Ah, well I thought you were an athiest or something. lol
MoonFlower13: sorry
Jeb_Thurmond: Nice Canadian, I might be willing to Save™ you if you're at least from Alberta. Are you?
MoonFlower13: What's your deal with Landover? Do you not like them because they're so literal?
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: canada
MoonFlower13: then
Nice_Canadian: no i hate them for hating canada
Nice_Canadian: toronto cnada
Jeb_Thurmond: Don't use that ugly word "hate". At least use a Godly word like "utterly Abhor"
MoonFlower13: or dislike is a much nicer word.
Nice_Canadian: dislike
MoonFlower13: I don't hate anyone.
Nice_Canadian: me used to
MoonFlower13: They're nice here, if you learn to cope with them.
MoonFlower13: If you don't ....well.....then the best of luck to you, mon ami!
Nice_Canadian: thanks
Nice_Canadian: jeb
Nice_Canadian: do you speak like that
Jeb_Thurmond: Speak like what?
Jeb_Thurmond: I only speak God's language, English. Unlike you Canadians who can't even decide which language to speak.
Nice_Canadian: jesus spoke aramaic
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has joined.
Jeb_Thurmond: No, he wrote the Bible, and the Bible is written in English. Therefore He spoke English.
Nice_Canadian: people wrote the bible
Nice_Canadian: it was orginaly in latin
Nice_Canadian: then whent to Hebrew armaic and greek
MoonFlower13: Welcome back Pa'daddy!
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh right, you're a child-molesting, Pope-worshipping Catholic, I forgot that
Nice_Canadian: congrats u spelled it right
Jeb_Thurmond: So you consider the Bible to be "religious truths" written by "people". In short, to you Jesus is no different than some dot-headed ten-armed indian elephant god
MoonFlower13: Oh wow, this is getting good.
Wash_O--39-Hanley has joined.
Jeb_Thurmond: I heard your Pope not only believes in evolution, he is even considering allowing condoms to be used my married couples. That's sperm-murder and you go to hell for that@
Wash_O--39-Hanley: yes
Wash_O--39-Hanley: I heard that too
MoonFlower13: Hello Wash
Wash_O--39-Hanley: hi moon
Wash_O--39-Hanley: I see you haven't been sent to hell yet
MoonFlower13: Where are you at, Wash????
Jeb_Thurmond: Wash, this is a perfect debate for you. We've got a Canadian cornered
MoonFlower13: Dreamer is alone...again.
MoonFlower13: lol
Wash_O--39-Hanley: canadian was begging me for a debate last night
MoonFlower13: no she's not!
Wash_O--39-Hanley: although all he would do is leave the chat and then re-enter
MoonFlower13: I have company now!
Wash_O--39-Hanley: where?
Wash_O--39-Hanley: what are you talking about moon?
Wash_O--39-Hanley: ARE YOU ON DRUGS?
MoonFlower13: Ok, I wanna watch a VERY good debate
MoonFlower13: Not at the moment why?
MoonFlower13: you want me to be?
Wash_O--39-Hanley: no, not really
Nice_Canadian: what's sports are approved at lamdover
Wash_O--39-Hanley: That's Landover
Nice_Canadian: my daughters play hockey and basketball
Nice_Canadian: landover
Wash_O--39-Hanley: and there is a list on the main site under the homosexuals link
Jeb_Thurmond: You want to debate SPORTS? A nation with sodomite-marriage and you want to debate SPORTS?
Wash_O--39-Hanley: you duaghters are also probably selling their bodies on street corners for SMACK money
MoonFlower13: Heeeey, I'm for gay marriages...
Nice_Canadian: well that was wrong
Jeb_Thurmond: 2 pesos to nornificate with an eskimo? I'll pass
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We don't debate sports. What is there to debate? Your daughters are heading for fire laake and you are interested in sports?
Nice_Canadian: and you fuys approve basketball
Jeb_Thurmond: Females should not play sports, period
Wash_O--39-Hanley: nic canadian- why did you avoid the vietnam war by moving to Canada?
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has left.
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: toronto born and raised
Wash_O--39-Hanley: was it because you hate freedom?
Nice_Canadian: cept for college in calagry
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: and females are as good as males
Nice_Canadian: and wash that was very offencive
<MoonFlower13> sent sound: applause
Jeb_Thurmond: Females as good as males? Have you read the Bible?
MoonFlower13: HELLO?!
MoonFlower13: ,-----FEMALE!
Wash_O--39-Hanley: well it's no secret that Canada is just a really bad America tribute band
Jeb_Thurmond: I'd like to see the book, chapter and verse where it says females are as good as males
Nice_Canadian: the bible can be wrong it was a diffrent time
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh I forgot, you're a Catholic so you don't believe in the BIble. Some priest says "grab your knees" and you take his word for it
Wash_O--39-Hanley: the bible is not wrong
MoonFlower13: brb
Wash_O--39-Hanley: period
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: now look
Nice_Canadian: what sports does landover approve
Jeb_Thurmond: Hunting, so we can practise for Operation Canadian Freedom. You know it's coming. We just have to get a few democrats out of congress.
Nice_Canadian: hello
Nice_Canadian: what sports do you approve
Nice_Canadian: and tell me
Nice_Canadian: hunting is wrong i think
Nice_Canadian: killing animals
Nice_Canadian: like that
Nice_Canadian: i hate guns
Jeb_Thurmond: I know, it's a shame to waste ammo, but hunting sinners isn't legal yet so for the moment it's the best we can do
Nice_Canadian: oh wait
Nice_Canadian: utterly abhor
Nice_Canadian: it will never be
Nice_Canadian: at least in the amazig country
Nice_Canadian: of canada
Nice_Canadian: and you want to take ove canada
Nice_Canadian: well come and get me you dumb hick!!!!
MoonFlower13: HEY!
MoonFlower13: BE NICE!
MoonFlower13: NO NAME CALLING!
Nice_Canadian: sorry they offeended me
Nice_Canadian: calms down
MoonFlower13: oh
MoonFlower13: take deep breaths...always works for me
Jeb_Thurmond: Yeah, all Catholics are like that - angry and spiteful. It comes from the whole getting molested thing, I think
Nice_Canadian: saying that is sterotyping me
Nice_Canadian: i never was
MoonFlower13: I was never molested and I grew up Catholic
MoonFlower13: and I was even an alter girl
Nice_Canadian: good
Jeb_Thurmond: Catholic priests aren't attracked to females
Nice_Canadian: i was an alter boy
MoonFlower13: YAY!
Nice_Canadian: and i was never ever molested
MoonFlower13: me niether.
Wash_O--39-Hanley: or did the father just tell you never to tell
Jeb_Thurmond: True, many of them concent when under the influence of the communion wine
MoonFlower13: I had very nice priests...they'd probably burn me at the stake if they met me NOW...but they were nice back then.
Pagan_Prince has joined.
MoonFlower13: OH
MoonFlower13: MY
MoonFlower13: GOD
Jeb_Thurmond: Pagans, wiccans, and Catholics, it's a regular black mass here
Nice_Canadian: boy jeb
Nice_Canadian: you utterly abor me
Jeb_Thurmond: Only because Jesus orders me to
MoonFlower13: you be nice jeb...you're out numbered
Pagan_Prince: Jeb_Thurmond: I bet none of you even own guns
Can I buy you a beer Moon?
Pagan_Prince: I have some, Jeb.
Nice_Canadian: none
Nice_Canadian: moonflower you gave words of wisdom
MoonFlower13: I'll take some New Castle your majesty
MoonFlower13: why's that Canada?
Jeb_Thurmond: Didn't you know? Canada has gun control. That's why it's a dictatorship and criminals control the streets
MoonFlower13: But they're so peaceful
MoonFlower13: they never start oil wars...oops...
MoonFlower13: they never start wars.
MoonFlower13: they keep to themselves.
Pagan_Prince: A cold one, coming up ....................................
Pagan_Prince: Canada hasn't even kicked the British out yet.
Nice_Canadian: were not a dictaorship
MoonFlower13: TY Prince
Nice_Canadian: becaause were not gun caryers who shoot someone we hate
Pagan_Prince: Technically the president still has to be installed by the queen, right?
Jeb_Thurmond: Nonsense. Guns are needed to keep dictaroships from taking over. Since you Canadians are disarmed, it's obviousy what has occured. I know the liberal-bias media doesn't talk about it much, but its' obvious
MoonFlower13: Can't we all just get along?
Nice_Canadian: i wish
MoonFlower13: I'm scared of guns
MoonFlower13: that's why I have 4 cats.
Nice_Canadian: me 2\
MoonFlower13: they attack on command
Nice_Canadian: i have 1 cat
Nice_Canadian: and 2 dogs
MoonFlower13: technically, I have 4.5
Nice_Canadian: my cat will warn me
Jeb_Thurmond: Pagan where are you from? It's possible you might still be saved™
Nice_Canadian: i got a kendo stick though
MoonFlower13: the .5 is a foster kitten named ....Prince. seriously
Wash_O--39-Hanley: Quick pagan, give me your social security number!
Pagan_Prince: I live on the Right Coast of America. I was already saved once but I didn't feel anything.
Pagan_Prince: Anybody got a doobie?
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: straight edge
Nice_Canadian: don't do drugs or booze
Pagan_Prince: Hey that's reminds me of an old song...
Pagan_Prince: Don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do?
Nice_Canadian: work on cars play soccer
Nice_Canadian: watch my kids
Nice_Canadian: make candice my wife feel special
Nice_Canadian: i love so much
Jeb_Thurmond: Pagan what state are you from?
Pagan_Prince: Your wife, is she a go-er?
Nice_Canadian: ya
Nice_Canadian: she amzing
Nice_Canadian: so smart
Nice_Canadian: i also love to cook
Nice_Canadian: i make great vegan tacos
Pagan_Prince: I have lived in 6 different states and my SS# is 15.
Pagan_Prince: Only on the Left coast for 6 months
Jeb_Thurmond: A vagrant. I should have known. Always getting run out of town by decent God-fearing folk.
Pagan_Prince: Yes that's exactly how it was Jeb!
MoonFlower13: Are you Wiccan or just pagan, love?
Pagan_Prince: Plain old pagan, I love the Earth and life.
Nice_Canadian: i love life too
Pagan_Prince: Nothing supernatural like goddesses
Pagan_Prince: I like to dance on the solstices
MoonFlower13: ah
MoonFlower13: WOOHOO!
MoonFlower13: as do all pagans
Nice_Canadian: great day today
Pagan_Prince: Know any good drum circles on the east coast?
Nice_Canadian: god loves us all
MoonFlower13: the miccossukee tribe has them
Father_Maurice_Lester has joined.
MoonFlower13: 2 catholics, 1.5 pagans, and 2 TC's
Father_Maurice_Lester: Thre are only a billion of us!
Wash_O--39-Hanley: I leave for 10 minutes and I come back to a Catholic Hell!
Nice_Canadian: father mo my favorite person here how are you
Father_Maurice_Lester: Please, ease up on the histrionics
Jeb_Thurmond: So tell me, father, what nonsense your pope has ordered you to do today
Father_Maurice_Lester: Fine son, thanks for asskissing.
Nice_Canadian: Jeb please why do hate us catholics
Father_Maurice_Lester: Good question
Jeb_Thurmond: You know what? I'm too tired to list the reasons, so how about I just refer you to http://www.jesus-is-lord.com
Father_Maurice_Lester: If it says so on the internet it MUST be true!!
Pagan_Prince: Moon, are you only half pagan?
Jeb_Thurmond: You're saying stuff on the internet too, and I don't belive you
Father_Maurice_Lester: My point indeed.
Pagan_Prince: Hello father Mo!
Father_Maurice_Lester: Moon is Pagan anything she can!
Father_Maurice_Lester: Hello "Prince"...how is Morris Day?
Nice_Canadian: so jeb your a sherrif right
Father_Maurice_Lester: Far right
Jeb_Thurmond: So father, has the Pople finally decided in favore of sperm-murdering condoms for married couples, or is he still flip-flopping
Pagan_Prince: Hey, that guy is no longer known as Prince!
Father_Maurice_Lester: Explain favore
Father_Maurice_Lester: Spanish maybe?
Pagan_Prince: I think Jeb's drunker than me
Father_Maurice_Lester: Good bet.
Pagan_Prince: and that's saying something
Jeb_Thurmond: Those sperm have souls just like you and me! And your Pope is willing to murder them, just to keep some wife from getting aids!
Father_Maurice_Lester: He has been at the Pub Italia maybe? Looking at a certain waitress?
Nice_Canadian: it's good to prevent aids
Nice_Canadian: ya jeb lay of the bud
Pagan_Prince: I can't stand condoms
Jeb_Thurmond: It was abortions and sperm murders who caused 9/11! That's the truth fromthe mouth of Pat Robertson himself!
Father_Maurice_Lester: Nuff said.
Nice_Canadian: and pat robertson is an %%%%%%%
Nice_Canadian: and how can thatt cause it
Father_Maurice_Lester: Pat is a few quills short of a porcupine.
Pagan_Prince: The fact that Robertson hasn't been assassinated is proof that his view of the world is warped.
Jeb_Thurmond: What was that Pagan? A death threat?
Nice_Canadian: Father that is agood point
Nice_Canadian: or as i say a few fries short of a happy meal
Nice_Canadian: and you don;t make them
Nice_Canadian: well jeb
Pagan_Prince: I bet he'd take it as such
Father_Maurice_Lester: I few rocks shy of a curling match.
Pagan_Prince: Now it's your responsibility to tell him I said that.
Jeb_Thurmond: Do they even have Mcdonald's in Canada?]
Nice_Canadian: ya
Nice_Canadian: plenty
Nice_Canadian: i eat salads there
Jeb_Thurmond: Of course,meat must be illegal in Canada
Nice_Canadian: im vegan the only one in my family
Father_Maurice_Lester: Toronto? Good food bad Hockey eh?
Pagan_Prince: Yes they do have McD's in Canada
Pagan_Prince: I spent the night at one once, when the Young Men's Christian Van broke down.
Father_Maurice_Lester: Oh -oh
Father_Maurice_Lester: Learned what a big mac was the hard way?
Nice_Canadian: ya
Nice_Canadian: leafs are driving me mad
Nice_Canadian: goleafs
Father_Maurice_Lester: Satan is a Leafs fan
Pagan_Prince: 5 men and a very large dog sleeping in 1 van
Jeb_Thurmond: leafs? that's what they call pot in Canada? isn't it legal there?
Nice_Canadian: satan is a montreal fan
Nice_Canadian: and cena fan
Jeb_Thurmond: Pagan I don't want to hear you brag about your sexuial exploits
Nice_Canadian: maple leafs a GODLY hockey team
Pagan_Prince: Later tonight I'm going to piffle a christian
Father_Maurice_Lester: God has foresaken the Laffs.
Jeb_Thurmond: better than 4 other men and a large dog. disgusting
Nice_Canadian: hhave fun
Nice_Canadian: jeb your a sherrif right
RaptuAIRe has joined.
Jeb_Thurmond: THANK THE LORD!
Jeb_Thurmond: A fellow blood-bought baptist to clear out this den of iniquity1
RaptuAIRe: GLORY! Praise the LORD for burning all Homers, Eurotrash, Cattylickers, and Canucks in HELL FIRE!!!
Father_Maurice_Lester: I always do.
RaptuAIRe: Especially those cattylickers
Father_Maurice_Lester: Wow..four babptists...a;most a full set of teeth!!
Nice_Canadian: father that was a great one
RaptuAIRe: Wow a cattylicker, a canuck, and a pagan... almost 1 full IQ point
Father_Maurice_Lester: HEhehehe
Nice_Canadian: ok i gotta use the toilet
RaptuAIRe: they have those in Canadia?
Jeb_Thurmond: Father Maurice, don't you have to go put on a dress, sit alone in a room, and listed to someone talk about their sex life?
RaptuAIRe: I thought you just cut holes in the GOD-forsaken ice
Jeb_Thurmond: "confession" I believe is the euphanism you use?
Father_Maurice_Lester: Yes Jeb, that is part of my job.
RaptuAIRe: Bro. Jeb: You know why they wear those dresses, don't you?
Nice_Canadian: ya
Nice_Canadian: don't you have outhouses
RaptuAIRe: no, we've had actual sanitary rooms where we can do our sinful business for over a century now
Jeb_Thurmond: I happen to have a 2000$ military surplus toilet from the Pentagon, as a matter of fact.
RaptuAIRe: I have a beautiful Rapture Ready toilet
Father_Maurice_Lester: Bedrooms?
Nice_Canadian: hows the landover high school team
Nice_Canadian: the hockey team
RaptuAIRe: hockey is a simplistic homer sport
Jeb_Thurmond: Why can you think about nothing but hockey? Why the obsession?
RaptuAIRe: barbaric
Jeb_Thurmond: It's all the men "bodychecking" each other by bumping and sliding around, isn't it?
Nice_Canadian: hockey, soccer, basketball, baseball, football, arena football, bowling, golf, and Auto Racing i compete or competed in
RaptuAIRe: however, our Witch Burning team is the best in the country, our Stoning squad is #1 in the world, and we have one of the top 5 kneegrow head bashing teams in the entire country
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has joined.
Nice_Canadian: nnow only hockey, soccer, and auto racing
Father_Maurice_Lester has left.
RaptuAIRe: GLORY to GOD!!!!
Nice_Canadian: ya your stoners are HiGH in the rankings
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Lookit.....I have just got the DOF report on the Canuck. He is a kid. No wife, no kids, he made it all up.
RaptuAIRe: ahhhhhh
RaptuAIRe: Thank you Pastor Pistle! GLORY!
Nice_Canadian: how can you find canada
RaptuAIRe: The U.S. owns Canada
Nice_Canadian: no
RaptuAIRe: and has for years, we just haven't cleansed it yet
Jeb_Thurmond: Of course Bro rap is talking about SIMULATED head bashing and such. We don't break the law here. But once the laws are changed, you sinners had better be good long distance runners..
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Go North until you smell bear-poop. You are there.
Nice_Canadian: i got a fast auto racing car
RaptuAIRe: that's correct, Brother Jeb
RaptuAIRe: Simulations for now, until Plan:JESUS is put into effect, GLORY!
RaptuAIRe: I have a fast hellicopter with gun attachments
Nice_Canadian: what is plan jesus
Jeb_Thurmond: Speaking of long distance runners, those pagans in Darfur are really quick. Most of them are too dumb to zig-zag though, makes aiming easy
RaptuAIRe: I can destroy your car within seconds of hitting the trigger
RaptuAIRe: *longs for the day when personal nuclear missiles will finally be legalized*
Nice_Canadian: ya then i'll go to hevan
Nice_Canadian: and you guys have a dof
RaptuAIRe: I doubt it
Jeb_Thurmond: Golf is a good sport. If you play golf, canuck, it's possible for your soul to be saved™
RaptuAIRe: Landover is the Only True Church™
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Then who are you talking to?
RaptuAIRe: yeah, I play golf
Nice_Canadian: and hockey baseball and auto racing
Jeb_Thurmond: Wait, ti's just minigolf, isn't it?
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: regular gl=olf
Nice_Canadian: golf
RaptuAIRe: I play golf only for the purposes of making business arrangements so that I can increase my tithing
Jeb_Thurmond: I guess you just hit stones into lemming holes or something
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has left.
Nice_Canadian: no golf balls into golf hols
Nice_Canadian: holes
RaptuAIRe: they are too ignorant to play golf in Canadia
BibleThumpinBlonde has joined.
RaptuAIRe: GLORY to GOD!!!!
Jeb_Thurmond: Nice euphemism for it, M.F.
RaptuAIRe: SISTER THUMPER is here!!!
Nice_Canadian: i cooked dinner toniight my kidsloved it
Jeb_Thurmond: Poutine and beaver's tales I bet. Gross
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: vegan food
RaptuAIRe: when was the last time you used the rod on your children?
BibleThumpinBlonde: GLORY!
Nice_Canadian: never
Nice_Canadian: whywould i do that
Nice_Canadian: i ground them
MoonFlower13: you liked that Jeb?
BibleThumpinBlonde: Hello Brothers and Sisters
Jeb_Thurmond: "Spare the Rod and spoil the child" - God
MoonFlower13: lol
RaptuAIRe: You HATE your children????
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: you told me to break there bones
Jeb_Thurmond: "he that spareth the rod hateth the child" - God
Pagan_Prince: We are all children of the earth
RaptuAIRe: GLORY!!!
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh right, but as a catholic you don't obey the Bible
BibleThumpinBlonde: if you don't beat your children you hate them and want them to go to hell
Nice_Canadian: that whhole what if my child quits sports is wrong and so is any of your child rearing rules
RaptuAIRe: yeah, perverted canuck
BibleThumpinBlonde: a good beating shows your love for them
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: they will fear you and hate you
Jeb_Thurmond: It's not OUR child-rearing rules, it's GOD'S child rearing rules! read the Bible1
RaptuAIRe: our Child Rearing rules come from GOD
Nice_Canadian: my kids love me
BibleThumpinBlonde: yessir Eh-hole
BibleThumpinBlonde: don't you read the bible?
RaptuAIRe: GOD is an expert on Child Psychology!
RaptuAIRe: He CREATED them!
RaptuAIRe: HE has given us the perfect plan for rearing our children
Nice_Canadian: i will never forget them ever
Nice_Canadian: i love them
Nice_Canadian: i love everyone
RaptuAIRe: you must not love your children
BibleThumpinBlonde: oh yeesh he's a vegan too
Jeb_Thurmond: Where in the Bible does it say that "go to your room" is an appropriate punishment? Where?
BibleThumpinBlonde: JESUS spits in the faces of vegans
RaptuAIRe: Prov 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
BibleThumpinBlonde: he made animals for us to eat and use thier skins
Pagan_Prince has left.
BibleThumpinBlonde: Amen Brother Jeb and Rap
RaptuAIRe: Gen 1:28 "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."
Nice_Canadian: Proverbs 8-19 ban iolnce
Nice_Canadian: violence
Nice_Canadian: 1: 8-19
BibleThumpinBlonde: a good beating is not violence. Is loving guidance
BibleThumpinBlonde: even women deserve a good beating now and then
MoonFlower13: are we praying?
Nice_Canadian: no
Nice_Canadian: i never beat candice
MoonFlower13: I see bible verses everywhere
Nice_Canadian: BTB what is your job
BibleThumpinBlonde: is she a stripper?
BibleThumpinBlonde: I'm a homemaker
BibleThumpinBlonde: only whores work outside of the home
RaptuAIRe: Deut 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
RaptuAIRe: that's pretty clear, isn't it, friend?
Nice_Canadian: na shes a teacher in high school
Nice_Canadian: hs teacher
Nice_Canadian: she teachs biology
RaptuAIRe: Luke 19:27 -- But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.
Jeb_Thurmond: The Bible forbids women to teach!
RaptuAIRe: she teaches Evilution?!?!?!?!?!
BibleThumpinBlonde: with a name like Candy she sounds like a stripper
Nice_Canadian: moonflower i will apoliizze for them they have too much bible here
BibleThumpinBlonde: she probably needs to be stoned too
Nice_Canadian: candice
Nice_Canadian: no
RaptuAIRe: Friend
Nice_Canadian: my daughter is a great hockey player
RaptuAIRe: Too much BIBLE???
RaptuAIRe: You can't have too much BIBLE!!! It isIMPOSSIBLE
RaptuAIRe: you obviously don't have enough
BibleThumpinBlonde: Proverbs 23: 13: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14: Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
BibleThumpinBlonde: sounds like you are raising your daughter to be a lezbean
RaptuAIRe: if you don't have your Vitamin BIBLE you've got a deficiency that will send you STRAIGHT TO HELL
RaptuAIRe: 250 MPH into the lake of fire
Nice_Canadian: no
Jeb_Thurmond: Proverbs 8:19 My fruit is better than gold, yea, than fine gold; and my revenue than choice silver. HOW DOES THIS BAN VIOLENCE?
Nice_Canadian: i read the bible
RaptuAIRe: satan already has his bed ready for you to get in so that he can rape you
Jeb_Thurmond: You said Proverbs 8-19 bans violence, but it has nothing to do with it!
Nice_Canadian: Proverbs 1: 8-19
BibleThumpinBlonde: and Satan doesn't use lube
RaptuAIRe: of course, your priests have already been prepping you for that
Nice_Canadian: jeez im made mistake
Nice_Canadian: and u don't
RaptuAIRe: Actually, do we make mistakes, Bro. Jeb?
Jeb_Thurmond: By the way, right next dor is proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to **hate*** evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
BibleThumpinBlonde: I've never seen one
RaptuAIRe: GOD made me Truly Saved™... WHY AREN'T YOU?
Nice_Canadian: how are you truly saved
RaptuAIRe: GOD gave me 7 SUVs, 2 Helicopters, a private jet, and 3 yachts, WHY NOT YOU?
BibleThumpinBlonde: because he refuses to follow GOD'S word - thats why
Nice_Canadian: god you sure like giving money to dickhead cheney
RaptuAIRe: GOD gave me a business that brings in BILLIONS a year. WHY NOT YOU?
Nice_Canadian: beacause you hicks hate me
Nice_Canadian: jesis loves me
RaptuAIRe: GOD made me a Platinum Level Tither™ and gave me a massive house, why not you?
BibleThumpinBlonde: your wife has to work. You should be ashamed
RaptuAIRe: because you make mistakes!
Nice_Canadian: i work too
Nice_Canadian: i build custim cars
RaptuAIRe: Your wife should NEVER have to work outside the home
RaptuAIRe: custim?
Nice_Canadian: any one want a god ride
Nice_Canadian: custom
RaptuAIRe: I wouldn't buy a car from you
Nice_Canadian: with cross spinners
RaptuAIRe: you might repaint "Hummer" to say "Hummus"
Jeb_Thurmond: By the way about your sinful wife Candice....1 Tim. 2:12 forbids women from teaching
BibleThumpinBlonde: my dear departed husband left me millions after I accidently killed him in that unforttunate gun cleaning accident
RaptuAIRe: which is practically an abomination
Nice_Canadian: i hate hummers
Nice_Canadian: Carlos works on those
RaptuAIRe: I only own 3, or I'd pray for GOD to smite you right now
Nice_Canadian: and Jai
RaptuAIRe: my Navigators have stained-glass, cross-shaped sunroofs
Nice_Canadian: what's so bad about hating hummers
RaptuAIRe: they are gold outside
RaptuAIRe: and blood red interior
RaptuAIRe: Hummers help keep our economy afloat in America
RaptuAIRe: its proof of Trickle Down Economics!
BibleThumpinBlonde: PRAISE!
RaptuAIRe: GLORY!!!
Nice_Canadian: too much car for me
Nice_Canadian: i like corvettes
BibleThumpinBlonde: I drive a hummer too with a giant picture of JESUS painted on the sides
Jeb_Thurmond: Proverbs 8:21 That I may cause those that love me to inherit substance; and I will fill their treasures.
Nice_Canadian has left.
BibleThumpinBlonde: oh dear, you probably have tattoos and a mullet, don't you
RaptuAIRe: LOL, I guess we runned him off
Nice_Canadian has joined.
RaptuAIRe: OH
MoonFlower13: canada left...hmmm
Nice_Canadian: hey what happen
RaptuAIRe: you are back for more?
BibleThumpinBlonde: wb Sinner
Nice_Canadian: i hit button
RaptuAIRe: JESUS smote your internet connection, SINNER
BibleThumpinBlonde: your browser booted you. Probably has demons in it
BibleThumpinBlonde: Tithe and they will go away
Nice_Canadian: yes halle berry's on conan
Nice_Canadian: ah hell im gone
RaptuAIRe: Sister Thumper: He's in Canada. Naturally there are demons
Nice_Canadian has left.
Jeb_Thurmond: By the way Canadian, doesn't your law force you to speak in French half the time? yet you haven't said a single french word tonight. You must be a criminal
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