The Holy Bible is Very Clear: True Christians™ Don't Do KETO

[Mary Etheldreda]

KETO is a new diet fad. Short for Ketosis or Ketogenesis, the diet claims that one must "eat fat to lose fat." Now, ignoring for the time being just how silly it is to suggest homeopathy works for diets, let's look at what the Holy Bible says about fat:

All the fat is the LORD's
Leviticus 3:16

I think it's sufficient to say this means the FAT is the best part of any cut, and no one deserves the best but the BEST.

But what a gracious LORD! He generously offers this same delicacy to those who Fear and Obey Him (Ecclesiastes 12:13)!

And take your father and your households, and come unto me:and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land
Genesis 45:18

Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared:
for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10

Fat is synonymous with strength and power and glory.

The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness
Isaiah 34:6

And it is a gift True Christians™ graciously accept.

And ye shall eat fat till ye be full
Ezekiel 39:19

It is a public affirmation of righteousness.

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing:
but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
Proverbs 13:4

He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife:
but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Proverbs 28:25

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat.
Psalm 92:12-14

The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul:
but the belly of the wicked shall want.
Proverbs 13:25

Let's see what God's Blessings looks like in the world today!




Reverend Jerry Falwell, blessed by God to be one of the original Televangelists as well as very rotund.




Reverend John Hagee, one of Jesus' favorite preachers, not afraid of showing off his fat face.




Defender of the faith and of Christmas, President Trump show the Blessed Junk of his Trunk!





Vice President and Mother Pence compare their big bellies of righteousness to the hungry bellies of the heathen.




This preacher has Jesus in his heart, as well as comfy pillows of cholesterol for the LORD to rest His Sweet Head for sure!




Girth above, Christian conviction below



Map of the United States which shows the Truest Christians™ are the fattest.




Author of article, God Loves My Fat Body As It Is


YES HE DOES!

[crazyjack13]

Re: The Holy Bible is Very Clear: True Christians™ Don't Do KETO

Oh, dear.It seems that I have some work to do. I've always been more on the skinny side, but I didn't realize until now that it was because of my previous life as a Heathenous Atheist. I now believe that I should take the proper steps moving forward to let myself go some more. I will also make sure that my lovely wife and children are being fed properly to attain godly levels of fat.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Holy Bible is Very Clear: True Christians™ Don't Do KETO

Thanks for this post!