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Reload this Page Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!
Valentine's Day, AKA Treason Season! Where we discuss the evils of this pagan holiday.

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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 12:27 AM

[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
And your issue with that is what exactly?


I believe we are all equal. Race does not make you a bad person. Those who denounce thier race are wrong. I don't believe anyone was put on this earth to be a slave. Black or white man or woman. Or any other ethnic orgin.

Quote:
We follow the Holy Word of God. If you don't like that, take it up with Him!
Hey, If you believe so then fine. But I have seen no propf in what you have shown me that Cannan was black.

Is this the post that got me this infraction
Dear TrueJuggaloMaMa,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Being a Sassy-Mouthed Feminazi Bitch


Is it proper for a preacher to use this kind of language. Wow my preacher does not dare use language like that.

But thank you by the way. That word does not borther me as I say to others who call me that
"Thanks for noticing I work hard at it"
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 12:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post


I believe we are all equal. Race does not make you a bad person. Those who denounce thier race are wrong. I don't believe anyone was put on this earth to be a slave. Black or white man or woman. Or any other ethnic orgin.
Can you back that up with Scripture?

You might want to take a look at THIS thread on the Biblical origin of the races.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 01:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
I believe we are all equal.
I believe you are an idiot. Feel better now?


5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Can you back that up with Scripture?

You might want to take a look at THIS thread on the Biblical origin of the races.
Show me you proof first.

Cranky Old Man
You have the right to believe what you want.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 01:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
Cranky Old Man You have the right to believe what you want.
I also believe you are heading straight for hell.

How little we care about your insults: Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Why you need to follow the entire Bible: 2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"

Why we must judge you to save your soul: Leviticus 19:15 "In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour." John 7:24 "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment."

Why it is very important to avoid hell (you are heading straight for it at the moment): Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"

Being an idiot is not an excuse: Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."


5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Thumbs down Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 02:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I don't believe those negroes and their T-Shirts. I think they are lying. They still look like savage beasts from the jungle.
I think being racist is wrong.
If that is truly your opinion then yo mama comes from the jungle.


Calum
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 02:34 AM

BTB is not from the steamy dark jungle, she's an angel from the golden plains of Iowa.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-27-2010, 03:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post

A negro that's given up fornicating?

Surely this is a mistake.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-28-2010, 05:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
Show me you proof first.

Cranky Old Man
You have the right to believe what you want.
So you don't believe in the Bible? Why not. God wrote it for a reason, you know.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 02-28-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob View Post
A negro that's given up fornicating?

Surely this is a mistake.
I'm guessing he's also given up being a negro. It happens.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-02-2010, 03:57 PM

hey do you guys print those shirts in black?

Raven
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-02-2010, 05:40 PM

We do not sell 'goth clothes'.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-02-2010, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
We do not sell 'goth clothes'.
I don't look good in the brightest of colors so i was just wondering. atleast something like navy blue?
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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 09:07 AM

Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?

Cheers.



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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 09:19 AM

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Originally Posted by True Sinner View Post
Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?

Cheers.
It is very brave of you to confess to being an obese self-abuser, but unfortunately we don't stock the required shirt.


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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 09:56 AM

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Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?
You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.


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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 10:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.
The both hands bit could be difficult... I suppose I could chew the other one off.

Does it have to be a chainsaw?

Does this mean god is an Evil Dead fan?


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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 10:42 AM

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Originally Posted by True Sinner View Post
Does it have to be a chainsaw?
A chainsaw is recommended due to ease of self-amputation; remove one hand, and then strap the chainsaw to your stump in order to remove remaining hand. Using an ax would be too laborious -- especially when hacking off the remaining hand.

Quote:
Does this mean god is an Evil Dead fan?
Now that's just silly.


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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-06-2010, 06:43 PM

Wouldn't a table saw be easier? I mean you just turn it on and lean in.

Just trying to be helpful.


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Default Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in! - 03-22-2010, 10:58 AM

Why are you arguing about self-mutilation? Surely none of you are planning on doing this. A chainsaw is designed to not function unless both hands are being used, hence the dead-man's brake and the trigger. A conventional, man powered saw would prove to be useless, as most people do not have the willpower to go through with it. There are cases, however, of people cutting off extremities while using a table saw, though.

I would advise against all of these courses of action. All of them would only end in your pain and suffering, and God does not want His children to suffer. He loves each and every one of you and only wants you to be with him after your time on this Earth has come to an end. Please stop arguing and suggesting ways to hurt one's self. Someone already hurt himself so that you may live forever. Please do not forget Him...


"Evil triumphs when good men do nothing." - A Very Wise Man
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