[Buford T Scoggins]

I keep hearing all this bullsh*t from environmental wackos that we shouldn't drive SUVs cause they use too much gas. I say that's nothing but horse manure. I had the answer to this "gas crisis" long ago. We just make nuclear-powered SUVs. And motorhomes too. Then we take all the nuclear waste and drop it on them Arabs. Kind of like killing two birds with one stone.

I really think that President Bush should hire me as a technical advisor. I got lots of good ideas.

YIC,
Buford

[Nobar King]

Or you can breed mosquitos in them (for your pet frog).

[Roberta]

OMG--a new hot rod from the Orient! Anybody familiar with the term "hoon"? This is a perfect hoon-mobile for the chosen!

It comes with an eight-speed torque converted automatic tranny, 300 watt stereo and driver's side Shiatsu. Two reverse gears enable it to self park in 27.3 seconds.

http://editorial.autos.msn.com/artic...umentid=502256

The IS F can run lap after lap around a track and not break a sweat, but it immediately reveals softer responses (including steering feel) than you would expect from the hard-edge sport sedan it is touted to be. Cornering is quite stable and balanced, although the car can both quickly rotate and the rear axle step out if you brake hard or late enough into a corner. This might explain why we were not allowed to switch the stability system completely off during our track stint.

In fact, the IS F felt happiest and most capable in the point-and-shoot world of city driving, where it can — and will — take full advantage of the slightest gaps in traffic while letting you enjoy the full benefits of a cushy Lexus cabin.

[Buford T Scoggins]

It's just occurred to me that in this thread, we've racially insensitive and have neglected the needs of ethnic minorities.

So, in the interests of racial harmony, here's a classic favorite for the darkies (note the whitewalls):



The trunk isn't very spacious, but is big enough for carrying crack cocaine and watermelons.

Hopefully, this post will assuage the hurt feelings of the jungle bunnies who accidentally wander into this web site.

YIC,
Buford

[Marshall]

Well friends I am engaged in negotiations for my first Daytona! A beautiful red one at that needing minimal cleaning and dusting to appear new outside, inside and underneath. I am mighty thankful to Jesus Christ for granting me this car as a reward for spreading His Good News across the Godless Interweb like a good True Christian™ is supposed to.
Granted it's not a Hemi like Christ would have owned, but she's a still rare six pack car so I won't be complaining.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

If SUV's weren't God's favored ride, why would the liberal MSM be so motivated to attack them at every opportunity?

From The Washington False Christian Post:

SUV Drivers Burned Twice: At the Pump, on the Car Lot
Some Unload Vehicles for Less Than They Owe

Americans' love affair with 22-inch rims, eight cylinders and four-wheel drive wrapped in an 8,000-pound package is over. And the breakup is going to cost.

With $4-a-gallon gas coming between drivers and their very large vehicles, consumers are dropping their once-beloved rides, fast. But not fast enough, it seems. As the price of gas has gone up, the value of sport-utility vehicles has gone down.

* * *

For those determined to swap their fuel-thirsty behemoths for gas-sipping subcompacts, the glut increasingly means taking a financial hit. In the worst cases, declining SUV values leave owners owing more money to the bank than their vehicle is worth.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters

If SUV's weren't God's favored ride, why would the liberal MSM be so motivated to attack them at every opportunity?

From The Washington False Christian Post:
SUV Drivers Burned Twice: At the Pump, on the Car Lot

And then a third time by Washington Post readers. Acting on direct orders from Baraq Hussein Osambo, no doubt.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Here in Texas, back in the frontier days you could get hanged if you stole a man's horse. The idea was that a horse was vital to your survival.

Nowadays, SUVs have replaced horses. So any eco-terrorist who would burn a blessed SUV or pickup truck also oughta be hanged.

I've been seeing some of those eco-terrorists riding around on sissy gay electric scooters. I think it's time for some payback.

[papparat]

I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by papparat

I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!

I don't understand a word of that, except that you demonstrate your hatred of America by buying eurotrash cars.

[Roberta]

Originally Posted by papparat

I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!

Have you no loyalty to the Empire? Why aren't you driving a Tata?

[papparat]

When I bought it was part of the CHRYSSLLEEEER Group! Closest thing you can get to having Christ on a car, also The song "Oh Lord won't you get me a Merceedees Benz inspired me"

[papparat]

Should add I further blessed it with a colonial, er I mean, American sound system, a BOSE.

Car was Guaranteed made by people of pure Aryan stock when I collected it from the Factory in that Conquered Nation of Germany, then drove it home to the Motherland

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins

Well done. I've even had my hood painted so that they still have an opportunity to repent, in the last split-seconds of their lives:

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

EDIT TO ADD: I love cars that look angry. Cars that look like Hannibal-Lector style psycho killers all chained up and masked. Cars that say "I'm ready to rub a rusty cheesegrater across a newborn's face while crushing a kitten's skull with my teeth".

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

The 2009 car issue is coming soon. On the cover will be Pastor Deacon Fred's new gold Porsche: