[Elmer G. White]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

I do apologize, I meant to think that, not post it.

Dear Sinner,

You are ignorant of the Bible. If you had actually studied the KJV you would know that, as sins, thoughts are exactly as bad as actions.

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Matthew 15:19-20
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are [the things] which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

As you can see, mere thoughts have defiled you. And you actually deliberately meant to think that! Everyone can understand how Pastor Ezekiel's manly demeanor and good looks can lead the thoughts of a vile sinner to sodomistic interludes, but your blatant wanton "meaning to think that way" is very disturbing. I'll try to find the strength to pray for you but you also need to do some heave repenting yourself. Ignorance is common but that's no excuse.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

It's tremendous how certainties are downgraded by popes and Romish priests.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel, I read your post thoroughly and saw that spending time with “Altar Boys” is a requirement. No doubt the TC status will protect you from catching the homer disease by spending time with them. I did, however, want to ask if a safer workaround would be to convince some of your Filipino houseboys to join you in the undercover journey to be Pope. Induct them into that Catlick cult and sign them up as altar boys. The color of their skin would make it easy for them too. That way, you’d be spending time with altar boys you can TRUST as opposed to the risk of coming into contact with a homer.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

The Pope has been slipping more and more into liberal territory recently. I think people are ready to hear a fresh conservative voice telling them the same old ideas. The current incumbent seems highly vulnerable to a flanking maneuver from the right - I can create an action group, the Axis for Catholic Holy See Excommunication (or Achse for short), to firm up the conservative base over in Italy. Then you do a little speech, we pull on the buffalo horns and march to the Vatican. Game over for the RINOs and their illegitimate Pope. Peacefully tho.

[MitzaLizalor]

[highlighting mine]

Didn't the other "one true Church" (various orthodoxes collectively) already excommunicate Rome a millennium ago? It didn't stop the bloat, of course. Earlier when the Germans (continuing with Spark Notes..)

Some Germans began to come into contact with Roman civilization at border garrisons. They greatly admired the material aspects of Roman culture, such as arms, domestic wares, etc. Small numbers were accepted for service with Roman legions, and small scale German-Roman trade relations emerged involving cattle and slaves.

Gradually, changes occurred in the tribes over the next 250 years: A) B) C) D) E) Increasing numbers of Germans began to serve as Roman auxiliary forces just beyond the Roman borders, learning new tactics, acquiring better materials, coming to admire Roman society even more. Some even underwent a process of partial Romanization. F) Some, the Visigoths in particular, were gradually converted to Christianity from the 340s by Ulfillias, son of a captured slave. Converting to the Arian form of Christianity soon to be branded heresy, the Visigoths slowly communicated it to the Ostrogoths, Vandals, and Burgundians. Roman-Barbarian dynamics remained normal until 375. In the mid-360s the pagan back-sliding emperor Julian the Apostate undertook a large Sassanid campaign, taking elements of the Rhine and Danube armies with him.

https://www.sparknotes.com/history/european/rome4/section3/

Whether early Roman "christianities" were any more Christian than the German-dominated empire that followed is not for me to say; but if any of them are to find Redemption, someone willing to put themselves last, to make sacrifices, to preach The Gospel and get rid of those pagan idols (is there any other sort?) needs to step forward. I was reminded of a young Samuel:


Eli's sons had been showing off:

I Samuel 3:10-14 And the LORD came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth. And the LORD said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.


Whosever sons the ticks infesting Rome may be today, their triple tiara seems to lead rather than restrain where matters of doctrine are concerned. "Idols," they ask? "Certainly, your grace, which one did you have in mind?" and with a hefty price tag too for persons so eminent as these – but their impoverished minions, some of whom half starved themselves to pay for a dead child's removal from Limbo, get so much less.

By now they've discovered that Limbo is not real. Well, discovered is not quite the word because they'd only made it up themselves in the place, but dead babies never went there and all that impoverishment to get them out was a wasted effort [excuse me your eminence could you pass the port?] extorted for no reason. And clearly if the place never existed, any messages informing grieving parents that their prayers had worked were lies. There can be no message from a place that doesn't exist. Perhaps ..a refund ..would

Nathan came to David and said:

II Samuel 12:1-6 There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: but the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him. And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: And he shall restore the lamb fourfold because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

Nathan had been describing David. David continued:

Psalm 51:5-14 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.


That was a millennium before Christ. He died a miserable death selflessly to set us free. All that's required is to praise and glorify His name forever. Hosanna! A millennium later though, spurned by other denominations, what happened in Rome? They all excommunicated one another and a millennium after that [now] the bloat continues. A bloat fuelled by every parent's anguish, desperate for their ewe lamb to be redeemed from a Limbo every heretic knew was a lie from the beginning. Of course they won't pay anything back!

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

...I'll be listening to confessions next! Looking forward to some juicy stories to share with our pastors and Church Elders!

Half of the stories you want to share will be from the mouths of your own Pastors and Elders who have been coming to confession for decades. While your cultists going to confession is by no means a new phenomenon, what they have to say of late does take things into an even stranger place and trust me, we have heard pretty much everything before.

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? She was jumping for you like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch yet it seems even the times she had you over for dinner and accidentally forgot to get dressed, you paid her no attention or affection. She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Lovely woman, bit of a town mattress but so was your mother so she'd of been a fine beard for you too.

Don't start me on your Rev Osborne who came to visit on an exchange programme and refused to leave without soiling every one of our Maplethorpe's like C.K. Lewis in a greenroom full of B-list actresses.

He kept doing it, running to confession and then rinsing and repeating like Melania washing the Trump skank off whatever part of her Dolt .45 actually got to touch. I consider Rev Osborne something of a friend so I won't tell you what he kept saying in his confessional defence but it had to do with stand-up 69'ers in the outhouse behind your little Fema trailer 'Church' in Iowa. Funny how your name comes up so often during these moments.

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.




Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo






.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? ... She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.
Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo.

I think it's unfair to bring up personal things in Pastor Zeke's past. He condemns sin better than any Cat'lick alive.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

Half of the stories you want to share will be from the mouths of your own Pastors and Elders who have been coming to confession for decades. While your cultists going to confession is by no means a new phenomenon, what they have to say of late does take things into an even stranger place and trust me, we have heard pretty much everything before.

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? She was jumping for you like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch yet it seems even the times she had you over for dinner and accidentally forgot to get dressed, you paid her no attention or affection. She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Lovely woman, bit of a town mattress but so was your mother so she'd of been a fine beard for you too.

Don't start me on your Rev Osborne who came to visit on an exchange programme and refused to leave without soiling every one of our Maplethorpe's like C.K. Lewis in a greenroom full of B-list actresses.

He kept doing it, running to confession and then rinsing and repeating like Melania washing the Trump skank off whatever part of her Dolt .45 actually got to touch. I consider Rev Osborne something of a friend so I won't tell you what he kept saying in his confessional defence but it had to do with stand-up 69'ers in the outhouse behind your little Fema trailer 'Church' in Iowa. Funny how your name comes up so often during these moments.

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.




Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo






.

I keep wondering when we're finally going to see an audit of the Vatican's finances - the world's largest for-profit not-for-profit scam.

I'm expecting to see the final balance sheet - noting the unfunded liabilities for the past 50 years of buggering young altar boys, placing the Vatican as having a negative net worth.

Perhaps this explains your fake pope Berglolio's secret agreements with the commie Chinese - they're bailing out the Vatican. I hope you like dispensing those wafers with chop sticks.

Bless you too, Comrade Mo.

[handmaiden]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

. . . this explains your fake pope Berglolio's secret agreements with the commie Chinese - they're bailing out the Vatican. I hope you like dispensing those wafers with chop sticks.

Bless you too, Comrade Mo.

"Wafers with chopsticks", I like that. They may start making the wafers out of tofu in an effort to eradicate the last vestiges of flavor from those benighted disks of falsehood and delusion.

[Adam Fag]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

What sort of duties would be involved?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

With Pastor Zeke making himself available for the Pope position there is little doubt he will be successful. No doubt he will be able to maintain his position here at Landover Baptist just as he did as an advisor to President Trump.

What we here at Landover Baptist need to do is ensure his success. We want Catholics world wide to revere Pope Zeke as they have other Popes.

I'd like to suggest one first step. I think we should buy the best Papal Tiara now in the Vatican museum. These are the towering hats worn by Popes until the 1960's. Our young handsome Pope Zeke would dazzle the world in one of these.

The Vatican needs money so surely we could make a deal. It could remove and sell separately the sapphires and emeralds. We could just pin on some dime store jewelry, looks the same.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

One form of idolatry is to make a complicated looking object that seems as though it could do something. Then murder anyone who says that it can't. There are many such objects not only in Rome but in the citadels of false religions everywhere. How much wealth they're sitting on is proportional to how assiduous they were regarding the murders. One such category is the human figure, surely by now numbering in the trillions from manufacturing efforts in India and China alone, many of which are grossly distorted as though of toadstools the carvers had drunk. Which in India is almost certain. Multiple arms and beaks with teeth and claws and ninety heads and eyes everywhere. Ew! If only they had read The Bible they would have seen how ridiculous it all is.

Habakkuk 2:18-19 What profiteth the graven image that the maker thereof hath graven it; the molten image, and a teacher of lies, that the maker of his work trusteth therein, to make dumb idols? Woe unto him that saith to the wood, Awake; to the dumb stone, Arise, it shall teach! Behold, it is laid over with gold and silver, and there is no breath at all in the midst of it.

HERE ARE SOME OBJECTS

I have no idea what they're supposed to do but do know, because The Bible expressly states it, that they can't do it. Whether stone or wood, gilded, silver, brass or gold, no matter how complicated they look, whether you point them at someone and go, “Oogle-boogle mumbo-jumbo namby-pamby bang!” nothing will happen. Popes' hats, whether worn or not, have a similar function (in the minds of the deluded) bestowing some very specific authority which gets filtered down through cardinals and bishops enabling them to project "extreme unction" as follows:

As administered in the Western Church today according to the rite of the Roman Ritual, the sacrament consists (apart from certain non-essential prayers) in the unction with oil, specially blessed by the bishop, of the organs of the five external senses (eyes, ears, nostrils, lips, hands), of the feet, and, for men (where the custom exists and the condition of the patient permits of his being moved), of the loins or reins; and in the following form repeated at each unction with mention of the corresponding sense or faculty: "Through this holy unction and His own most tender mercy may the Lord pardon thee whatever sins or faults thou hast committed [quidquid deliquisti] by sight [by hearing, smell, taste, touch, walking, carnal delectation]". The unction of the loins is generally, if not universally, omitted in English-speaking countries, and it is of course everywhere forbidden in case of women. To perform this rite fully takes an appreciable time, but in cases of urgent necessity, when death is likely to occur before it can be completed, it is sufficient to employ a single unction (on the forehead, for instance) with the general form: "Through this holy unction may the Lord pardon thee whatever sins or faults thou hast committed." By the decree of 25 April, 1906, the Holy Office has expressly approved of this form for cases of urgent necessity.

In the Eastern Orthodox (schismatical) Church this sacrament is normally administered by a number of priests (seven, five, three; but in case of necessity even one is enough); and it is the priests themselves who bless the oil on each occasion before use.

https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/05716a.htm

All rather complicated sounding, just like those objects – and equally useless. God had already explained everything before they made all this up but more significantly, if the Romish schism were to end, the question of what to do with all the jewellery has also been covered.

Haggai 2:8-9 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts. The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace.

[Didymus Much]

Re: I'm Studying to Be the Next Pope

...I'm now doing my apprenticeship in a Chicago "diocese"...

So if you're off doing that, and Mistress Cookie () is still on that extended personal leave, who's actually running like Sunday services and whatnot? No wonder you've got tin tithers parking up in the paved lot.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Covfefe! It's happening. Frances is writhing on their (I know me pronouns!) deathbed and soon the Sixteenth Chapel will se another meeting and white smoke. I'm well-prepared and MVGA (Make Vatican Great Again) will be a reality. No more wedding dresses worn by men but just tailored suits, clean-cut young Caucasian youth as cardinals and my 14-yo FIlipino houseboys will supp+lement the Curia. ALl Vatican archives will be opened including all the nasty detailed reports of altar boy fornication. No more Papist tongues of Latin or Eyetalian but the pure original KJV. Great times ahead!

[MitzaLizalor]

Covfefe! . . . No more wedding dresses worn by men but just tailored suits . . .

In another thread there was a photo from one of their freak shows. It looks like there are several layers worn over the suit. One detail that struck me was the overly-ornate "hem stitch" identifiable from linen bedsheets—I was ironing some yesterday—together with gold wire braid. (For that it needs to be 24 carat, which can be drawn very fine.) The amount of work in any such stitch is very high and the hem as shown seems to have quite a complicated version: it needs to be hand done.



This stuff is quite costly and could be repurposed for either tablecloths or items of clothing. Personally I do not find men wearing tablecloths ..that is to say, invariably they have nothing of value to say. The gold wire braid could be used for millinery, or in some other way, but not to make a dunce's hat. Of all ludicrous frippery, that eggshell shaped "triple tiara" must qualify for the hall of fame!