[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

As you know, the Republican Party has long been God's staunchest allies in the global war on visual depictions of post-pubescent female breasts.

Georgia Congressman Paul Broun, has launched a new crusade on behalf of our crusaders in Iraq. Surveying the dangerous situation abroad, the slow progress in Iraq, and the ever-increasing number of American casualties, Broun has, after careful consideration, decided that the problem is playboy magazine.

Republican Congressman Paul Broun, the representative from Georgia's 10th District, wants to stop the sale of Playboy and Penthouse at military bases around the world, invoking an argument...that consuming even soft pornography makes men more prone to committing sex crimes...

Broun, who is 61, wants to take away the board's discretion by inserting into the old law some new language delineating terms like "sexually explicit." ...It defines nudity, for instance, as the display of "human genitals, pubic area, anus, anal cleft, or any part of the female breast below a horizontal line across the top of the areola."

Note that by outlawing the "anal cleft, or any part of the female breast" we can support our troops by freeing them from the tyrannical side-boob and bum-cleavage of Britney Speers and her fellow-travellers.

"Allowing the sale of pornography on military bases has harmed military men and women by: escalating the number of violent, sexual crimes; feeding a base addiction; eroding the family as the primary building block of society; and denigrating the moral standing of our troops both here and abroad."

We've been saying for a long time that the troops are sexually immoral and finally the mainstream Republican Party has caught up with us. As usual we are ahead of our time.



Here are the bill's co-sponsors:

Rep Akin, W. Todd [MO-2] - 4/16/2008
Rep Bartlett, Roscoe G. [MD-6] - 4/16/2008
Rep Bishop, Rob [UT-1] - 4/16/2008
Rep Chabot, Steve [OH-1] - 4/16/2008
Rep Forbes, J. Randy [VA-4] - 4/16/2008
Rep Fortenberry, Jeff [NE-1] - 4/16/2008
Rep Goode, Virgil H., Jr. [VA-5] - 4/16/2008
Rep King, Steve [IA-5] - 4/16/2008
Rep Musgrave, Marilyn N. [CO-4] - 4/16/2008
Rep Pence, Mike [IN-6] - 4/16/2008
Rep Pitts, Joseph R. [PA-16] - 4/16/2008
Rep Roskam, Peter J. [IL-6] - 4/16/2008
Rep Sali, Bill [ID-1] - 4/16/2008
Rep Shays, Christopher [CT-4] - 4/29/2008
Rep Smith, Christopher H. [NJ-4] - 4/16/2008
Rep Souder, Mark E. [IN-3] - 4/16/2008
Rep Wittman, Robert J. [VA-1] - 4/23/2008

While liberals has been offering nonsensical reasons for casualties in Iraq (failure to win Iraqi hearts and minds (as if Iraqis possess either), lack of body armor, and so on) the reason 4000+ Soldiers and contractors have died in Iraq, with 10,000+ crippled for life is simple: God is punishing them for viewing visual depictions of post-pubescent female breasts.

By denigrating the moral standing of US troops - turning them into immoral sex-maniacs - porn opens soldiers to God's wrath. Once self-abuse, and the viewing of post-pubescent female breasts, have been banned from the armed forces, the Great Crusade Against Islamofascism will be easily won.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Great post! These soldiers need to get off the pornography and do the Lord's work by killing twice as many enemy soldiers. Perhaps that might make up for their sinful thoughts of fornicating with women in magazines.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

You're right to point out that playboy magazine is Al-Queda's number one weapon against America. I can't even count how many times I've heard someone looking at a picture of the "furry triangle of doom", only to get blown up by an Iranian E.I.D. within hours. If you ask me (and you should) I say that the real "Sunni Triangle" that's killing and maiming our troops is the "Fuzzy Triangle" that the publishers are Playboy magazine have been using to destroy the morality of our troops.

I'd like to suggest that not only should selling Playboy to soldiers be banned, but the current "don't ask, don't tell" policy on self-abusers be ended. Once the draft is reinstated, we will need to have special units to separate the self-abusers from the rest of us. They can be used for mine-clearing, ordinence disposal, and similar jobs, if you get my idea.

Next to get rid of: drug parafanalia. For example, the Haji shops in the green zone sell these weird smoking devices. They claim they're for smoking tabacco, but people who sell pipes say the same thing. Also, microsoft windows has to go. Have you ever seen "windows media player"? It has these things called "visualizations" which is the most blatant advertising for LSD I've ever seen. No wonder there's been an increase in no good pot-headed drunk veterans lately.

[Marshall]

Soldiers are immersed in perversion while in the Godless Middle East. I too noticed Playboy and other porn was sold there though I never submitted before the Devil and looked inside one.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

So it's been 6 years, side-boob and bum-cleavage have still not been banned, and everything has happened as predicted: our soldiers are still a bunch of rapacious, family-destroying, immoral addicts.

I'm glad I escaped when I did.

The WMD are still on the loose, the Muslims still strut around the Middle East like they own the place, and I still haven't gotten my parade.

Apart from turning the Pentagon into the world's largest strip-club, I blame porn for the decreased combat efficiency of today's soldiers. Back before porn, you had to build up a "spank bank" by staring at chicks, but of course you couldn't stare to long or too obviously or you're busted. In short, to get your rocks off you had to practise sniper skills. You'd learn to anticipate their actions, when are they going to bend over, or take another lick of the lolipop

Anyway, porn makes it too easy, like shooting fish in a barrel (I mean that purely as an expression). That's all I'm saying.