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  • #1

    In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

    Friends, I want you all to know I love you very much. But the more I think about birthdays, the more I think they should not be celebrated.

    I've been meditating on Jeremiah 20:14-18 a lot lately:

    14 Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.

    15 Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee; making him very glad.

    16 And let that man be as the cities which the Lord overthrew, and repented not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide;

    17 Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me.

    18 Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?

    Sounds to me like God is saying we should curse the day of our birth, and curse our parents for bringing us into this sinful, fallen world.

    I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be in Heaven with Jesus, and not down here, rutting around like a pig in slop.

    So, anyway, please don't be offended if you don't get an expensive birthday present from me this year. I might pay your parents a visit and curse them out instead.

    Yours in Christ,

    FM
    WARNING:
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    Tags: birthday, birthdays, jeremiah, scripture
  • #2
    Re: In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

    Maybe Jeremiah cursed his birth because he knew he was a Jew and would likely always be a Jew because the Messiah hadn't come in his time and he was getting impatient.

    Just a thought.

    I would hate being a Jew, is pretty much what I'm saying. I thank Jesus every day of my life that I'm not a Jew or a Muslim or Hindu or Pagan or any one of those other false religions that exist only because people open their hearts to Satan and know how to brainwash their young children into believing their religion is the only one that makes sense.

    But thank you for letting us know it's not that you're being cheap or think less of us, but that you're trying to follow God's Word wherever it leads you. Which may be a totally different place than where it leads me. Which is fine because He is God and we are not and it doesn't have to be consistent, or even make sense.

    Glory!
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Re: In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

      Just remember, Brother Faith: the J-Dubs do not celebrate their birthdays. Do you want people to think you're a hell-bound J-Dub?
      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
      Amen and Amen

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      • #4
        Re: In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

        But, conversely, it's worth noting that in his vile Satanic Bible, Anton Szandor LaVey asserts that for Satanists, their own birthday is the most important day of the year!

        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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        • #5
          Re: In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
          But, conversely, it's worth noting that in his vile Satanic Bible, Anton Szandor LaVey asserts that for Satanists, their own birthday is the most important day of the year!

          Brother Faith, dear Brother In Christ!

          Would you neglect Jesus's Sweet Birthday?! If it is acceptable, no, required, of us to Worship Him on His Birthday and Celebrate His Sweet Incarnation, why would it be sinful to celebrate the birthdays of His closest friends, us?

          Matthew 2:1
          Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,

          I do know that the vilest of the vile sinners used to have birthday parties, as well.

          Mark 6:21
          And when a convenient day was come, that Herod on his birthday made a supper to his lords, high captains, and chief estates of Galilee;

          How could we do less than the abominable Herod or the Pharaoh (Genesis 40:20) who was like the Queen of England of those yonder-year days.


          Yours in Christ,

          Elmer
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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          • #6
            Re: In case you're wondering why I haven't wished you a happy birthday

            Elmer, I have read the Bible from cover to cover, and the word "Christmas" doesn't appear in it even once.

            Christmas is nice and all, but the most important day in my year is EASTER, the day we celebrate our risen Lord!
            WARNING:
            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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