ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

As many of my blessed brothers and sisters in Christ are well aware, I've spent the last few years in deep, deep prayer. Our church leaders were able to procure a bride for me, and as all good Christians know, it is time for a baby. This part turned out to be much more of a trial than I had anticipated (but praise Jesus for this test).

11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Fortunately our strongest Brothers in Christ, Pastor Zeke and even Pastor Deacon Fred have counseled us deeply. Many long, sweaty hours in the prayer closet have finally paid off, and with deep concentration and a helping hand from my Church Brothers, I have lain with my wife and she is with child! Praise Jesus--this ordeal is behind us for another 9 months! I'm not sure who is more relieved, me or my wife.


Please join me in a thankful prayer, and we look forward to putting another arrow into Jesus' quiver.

[handmaiden]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

Best wishes for a boy! If it's not, then let's hope you won't have to wait as long as Abraham.

[Isabella White]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

Oh, my! A blessed event is about to happen in your happy household, dear Brother Dr. Ville, and I am so pleased to have received your good news. Now, I would like to make a wee gift for the little one, a knitted blanket, and a sweater and booties. I'll make them in either a pale yellow or green shade, just to be sure they can be used for either a little baby boy or girl. But, who knows, perhaps you and your dear wife will have twins?

May the dear bless you and your good wife at this time of great happiness:

John 16:21 "A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world."

A blessed day to you, dear Brother Dr. Ville,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

Good news indeed, Brother Dr. Ville, Sir! I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Ville, but hope to fellowship (or should that be fillyship? I don't know the appropriate term for ladies - my husband says it's "gossip") with her as soon as she has recovered from her lying-in.

I will pray that she is safely delivered of a son. Sister Isabella is quite correct to quote John 16:21, which tactfully does not mention the continuing anguish following the birth of a female child.


YiC
Joanna

[Dana723]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

Congratulations! I shall pray that your wife is delivered safely of a male child!

[JamesH.B]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

Congratulations, Doctor! It warms my heart to see another True Christian(TM) couple following Genesis 1:28. My family and I will be praying that your wife is carrying a son.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

How wonderful that your seed was viable enough to find purchase in your spouse's naughty place. I hope you are over the experience of enduring the marital act and that the deed produces a strong, healthy, masculine, well-built and handsome young boy with wiry muscles, picture-perfect pectorals, and rock hard abs.


When do you plan to purchase his first automatic rifle? Sadly, my father did not bond with me in this way but I had the support of other men who helped me learn to shoot my gun. Say, if you're too busy to spend time with the new young lad, I'd be willing to help train him in all things manly. Excellent references provided.


Oh: Just one more thing. I can vouch for Sweet, Precious, Dear, Loving Sister Great Granny Isabella's handcrafting ability. The one she made for me resembles Snuggies. I had her make mine in both green and yellow although I could have had it just in blue since I am obviously a man. Young, handsome, intelligent, well-built, and with multiple talents in horse and donkey dentistry, poetry, song writing, and showing love through Christ to homers. I love to share with the gaywise the truth about being a laborer for the Lord.


Again, congrats! I've gone on and on like a woman. I assure you there's nothing weak and frail about me, good sir. Have a super sparkly day!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

My condolences. Kids are horrible. The sex needed to make them is horrible. I cannot wait for Jesus to finally kill me.

[James Hutchins]

Re: ANNOUNCEMENT: Big News in the Ville Household

I'll pray for you do have a son and not be cursed with a daughter.



The next nine months you must be extremely careful not to upset God lest he causes the child to be expressed from your wife's loins a female. I found when I kept myself away from the incessant complaining of my wife (you might remember her, Mrs. Hutchins) she repeatedly bore me a son.
Accordingly I am happy to provide you with the keys to one of my condos to do my part in the granting of Gods love by providing you with useful progeny.