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Default Day 105. 2 Kings 7-9 - 01-14-2008, 06:45 PM

2 Kings 7-9

Today we get:

The end of the Syrian siege
The return of the woman and her zombie son
The end of Joram; the beginning of Jehu

2 Kings 7

Remember, Samaria is under siege from the Syrians. People were buying dove poop and ass heads for food; and eating their young.

1 Then Elisha said, Hear ye the word of the LORD; Thus saith the LORD, To morrow about this time shall a measure of fine flour be sold for a shekel, and two measures of barley for a shekel, in the gate of Samaria.

I'd imagine after a diet of head, shit and long pig that flour and barley would be a welcome change.

2 Then a lord on whose hand the king leaned answered the man of God, and said, Behold, if the LORD would make windows in heaven, might this thing be? And he said, Behold, thou shalt see it with thine eyes, but shalt not eat thereof.

The "lod on whose hand the king leaned" later became the gate keeper for the king. This guy was a disrespecter. He didn't believe that it was possible that after the time of starvation, that they would be able to have real food, and at such cheap rates.

In the mean time, there were 4 lepers who were looking for a place to die. They thought they could either die outside the city; die inside the city; go and be killed by the Syrians; or hopefully, they could go to the Syrians, and they would have compassion and feed them.

Well, they decide their best option is to go to the Syrians, and when they get there, the Syrians have deserted the place. Just ran away. Didn't take anything with them. So the lepers eat, and steal some stuff, then they go back to town and tell people.

10 So they came and called unto the porter of the city: and they told them, saying, We came to the camp of the Syrians, and, behold, there was no man there, neither voice of man, but horses tied, and asses tied, and the tents as they were.

The king thinks it's a trap, so they send a couple of people out to check, they find the place empty and not a Syrian in sight, so the people go out and loot.

16 And the people went out, and spoiled the tents of the Syrians. So a measure of fine flour was sold for a shekel, and two measures of barley for a shekel, according to the word of the LORD.

So, if everyone in town was taking stuff from the Syrians, why were they selling flour and barley?

17 And the king appointed the lord on whose hand he leaned to have the charge of the gate: and the people trode upon him in the gate, and he died, as the man of God had said, who spake when the king came down to him.

I'd imagine it quite a funny sight. The lord of the land standing there, telling the people to leave in an orderly fashion, and then they just run over him; stomping him to bits under their feet.

2 Kings 8

1 Then spake Elisha unto the woman, whose son he had restored to life, saying, Arise, and go thou and thine household, and sojourn wheresoever thou canst sojourn: for the LORD hath called for a famine; and it shall also come upon the land seven years.

Elisha was nice to tell the lady to leave as they would starve in town. Perhaps he should have had her do the oil trick again?

She went to live in the Philistine land for the 7 years of famine.

3 And it came to pass at the seven years' end, that the woman returned out of the land of the Philistines: and she went forth to cry unto the king for her house and for her land.

Apparently while she was gone, squatters took over her house and land.

4 And the king talked with Gehazi the servant of the man of God, saying, Tell me, I pray thee, all the great things that Elisha hath done.

Why would Gehazi be allowed in front of the king? Remember the leprosy of Naaman that was passed to Gehazi? Wouldn't it be odd to have a guy covered in white sores standing in front of the king?

5 And it came to pass, as he was telling the king how he had restored a dead body to life, that, behold, the woman, whose son he had restored to life, cried to the king for her house and for her land. And Gehazi said, My lord, O king, this is the woman, and this is her son, whom Elisha restored to life.

That's great timing.

6 And when the king asked the woman, she told him. So the king appointed unto her a certain officer, saying, Restore all that was hers, and all the fruits of the field since the day that she left the land, even until now.

How nice it must be to have the LORD looking out for you. Imagine, you are told to move away and then the LORD restores all that you missed. God is GREAT!

7 And Elisha came to Damascus; and Benhadad the king of Syria was sick; and it was told him, saying, The man of God is come hither.

Why is Elisha traveling in Syria?

The king sends a Hazael with a bunch of gifts to Elisha, who tells the man that the king will recover from his sickness, but then will die.

Then Elisha gets all emotional, because he knows that Hazael will become king of Syria and will kill lots of Israelites.

15 And it came to pass on the morrow, that he took a thick cloth, and dipped it in water, and spread it on his face, so that he died: and Hazael reigned in his stead.

Jehoram becomes the next king of Judah.

18 And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab: for the daughter of Ahab was his wife: and he did evil in the sight of the LORD.


He was bad, like most of the previous kings.

20 In his days Edom revolted from under the hand of Judah, and made a king over themselves.

Remember the Edomites lived inside the borders of Israel, and they were forced to pay tribute to the people of Israel. They were probably forced to wear little patches on their arms signifying they were Edomites. They probably had graffiti placed on their storefronts claiming "EDOMITE".

21 So Joram went over to Zair, and all the chariots with him: and he rose by night, and smote the Edomites which compassed him about, and the captains of the chariots: and the people fled into their tents.

We aren't told if they were put onto trains and taken to camps and then killed there slowly.

25 In the twelfth year of Joram the son of Ahab king of Israel did Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah begin to reign.

He was similar to the rest.

27 And he walked in the way of the house of Ahab, and did evil in the sight of the LORD, as did the house of Ahab: for he was the son in law of the house of Ahab.

Joram went to war with Hazael, and got wounded.

29 And king Joram went back to be healed in Jezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah, when he fought against Hazael king of Syria. And Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah went down to see Joram the son of Ahab in Jezreel, because he was sick.

2 Kings 9

1 And Elisha the prophet called one of the children of the prophets, and said unto him, Gird up thy loins, and take this box of oil in thine hand, and go to Ramothgilead:

He gives the man specific instructions on what to say and do to Jehu.

3 Then take the box of oil, and pour it on his head, and say, Thus saith the LORD, I have anointed thee king over Israel. Then open the door, and flee, and tarry not.

Say "Thus saith the LORD, I have anointed thee king over Israel" then leave.

The young man gets there and asks for Jehu, takes him to a back room and starts the ceremony.

6 And he arose, and went into the house; and he poured the oil on his head, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I have anointed thee king over the people of the LORD, even over Israel.

And then he left...?

7 And thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master, that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel.

And then he left...?

8 For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel:

Then he left???

9 And I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah:

Then he surely left?

10 And the dogs shall eat Jezebel in the portion of Jezreel, and there shall be none to bury her. And he opened the door, and fled.

Finally, that's a rather long winded version of "I anoint thee king over Israel".

Jehu then goes out and his buddies ask what the guy said, and he said; "you know what he said" and they were like "no!" and he's like "yeah" and they were like, "no, really?" and he's like "fer sure" and they are like "whoo hooo"

13 Then they hasted, and took every man his garment, and put it under him on the top of the stairs, and blew with trumpets, saying, Jehu is king.

It's awesome when your drinking buddy is suddenly proclaimed king!

Then Jehu decides it's time to get his kingdom. So he makes a plan to get Joram.

16 So Jehu rode in a chariot, and went to Jezreel; for Joram lay there. And Ahaziah king of Judah was come down to see Joram.

Ahaziah was visiting Joram.

17 And there stood a watchman on the tower in Jezreel, and he spied the company of Jehu as he came, and said, I see a company. And Joram said, Take an horseman, and send to meet them, and let him say, Is it peace?

Jehu replies back to the guy; "What hast thou to do with peace; turn thee behind me". Which means... NO, if you don't want to die, get in line!

So Joram sends out another rider, who asks about peace, and again is told the same thing.

21 And Joram said, Make ready. And his chariot was made ready. And Joram king of Israel and Ahaziah king of Judah went out, each in his chariot, and they went out against Jehu, and met him in the portion of Naboth the Jezreelite.

Joram himself is finally going out to ask Jehu if he's there peacefully.

22 And it came to pass, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of thy mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many?

NO PEACE WITHOUT JEZEBEL BEING KILLED!!!

Joram then fled.

24 And Jehu drew a bow with his full strength, and smote Jehoram between his arms, and the arrow went out at his heart, and he sunk down in his chariot.

But not fast enough.

27 But when Ahaziah the king of Judah saw this, he fled by the way of the garden house. And Jehu followed after him, and said, Smite him also in the chariot. And they did so at the going up to Gur, which is by Ibleam. And he fled to Megiddo, and died there.

Jehu has taken out BOTH the king of Israel and Judah in the first hours of his kingship of Israel.

30 And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tired her head, and looked out at a window.

Jehu asks if anyone is on his side, and there were a few eunuchs who decided they were, so they chucked Jezebel out the window.

34 And when he was come in, he did eat and drink, and said, Go, see now this cursed woman, and bury her: for she is a king's daughter.

When you take over a nation, you should always have a party. As an afterthought, you should clean up the bodies of the dead left in your wake.

35 And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands.

Apparently their forensic scientists were really good back then that they could make a positive identification of her, based on her skull, feet and hands.

37 And the carcase of Jezebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field in the portion of Jezreel; so that they shall not say, This is Jezebel.

PRAISE JESUS!!!

So what have we learned today?

1. If you are made king, it's ok to kill anyone or anything in your way.
2. God works on his own time; if he wants to make people eat ass skulls and babies before He drives away the enemy and has them leave perfectly good food behind, that's His prerogative.
3. Did Gehazi mention his leprosy as one of Elisha's great acts when he was standing in front of the king?

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Day 105. 2 Kings 7-9 - 01-15-2008, 01:10 AM

2 Kings 8 presents an interesting situation, in which Elisha instructs Hazael, a messenger sent by Benhadad king of Syria, to tell king Benhadad that the king would recover from an illness, even though the LORD had shewed Elisha that Benhadad would surely die:

And Elisha said unto him, go, say unto him, Thou mayest certainly recover: howbeit the Lord hath showed me that he shall surely die. 2 Kings 8:10

This leads us into a little theological conundrum, for aren't all liars condemned to Hell?

... all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Revelation 21:8

Sounds like Hell to me. How are we to resolve this puzzle? One simplistic answer would be that Elisha wasn't a Christian, and therefore was damned to Hell anyway, so why not lie like the Jew that he was? But that doesn't excuse him, since even the Old Testament has prohibitions on lying (see, e.g., Exodus 23:1, Thou shalt not raise a false report), and Elisha was a man beloved of God.

I wish I could give you a full answer, but if I were to try, then I would be lying. Note, however, that several OT and NT verses qualify the prohibition on telling falsehoods:

Neither lie to one another. Leviticus 19:11
Lie not one to another. Colossians 3:9
Wherefore put away lying, speaking every man truth with his neighbor. Ephesians 4:25

Why did God feel the need to add the condition "to one another" or "with his neighbor?" Surely God is not one to waste words (parchment was very expensive back then), so these phrases must have some meaning.

My answer is that God prohibited lying to other Jews in the OT, and that this rule has carried forward into the NT as a prohibition on Christians lying to other Christians.

Moreover, Elisha's lie was necessary, as it lead to the death of Benhadad, thence to the crowing of Hazael as king, and finally to the slaying of young Hebrew men with the sword, and dashing of Jewish children (don't want to be there for that day of Hebrew school), and the ripping up Jewish women with children. Which was God's plan. Glory!

So, to summarize, you can probably lie (a) to non-Christians or (b) if the purpose is to inflict violence upon the Jews. But it's better to be safe and aviod lying whenever possible, just in case I am wrong about this.


Edomites, Edomites Everywhere

...Edom revolted from under the hand of Judah unto this day. 2 Kings 8:22

How could this have happened, since Joab had recently killed every Edomite male in 1 Kings 11? Simple--it was the Edomite women who rebelled in 2 Kings, while they were busy repopulating a new generation of Edomite men.



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Default Re: Day 105. 2 Kings 7-9 - 01-15-2008, 01:28 AM

Two and twenty years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign. 2 Kings 8:26

Seems about right to me, but there is a very puzzling verse in 2 Chronicles 22 that seems to contradict this:

Forty and two years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign. 2 Chronicles 22:2

How, you might wonder, could Ahaziah be 42 years old when he began to reign, when he began to reign when he was 22? I have a theory about this--I believe that Ahaziah was in a coma for 20 years, and that in 2 Kings his age is given referring to the number of years he had been ambulatory, whereas in 2 Chronicles 22 it is given in the number of years since his birth.

Sure, it sounds crazy, but here's some supporting evidence. Jehoram, Ahaziah's father, was 32 years old when he began his reign, and his reign ended in his death 8 years later.

Jehoram was thirty and two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem. 2 Chronicles 21:5

Thirty and two years old was he [Jehoahaz] when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years. 2 Chronicles 21:20

There's no way, absent some sick fertility experiment probably not possible with Biblical age technology, that a man who dies at 40 has a 42 year old son waiting in the wings to become king. However, if his son is only 22 but in a coma, that son could easily snap out of the coma 20 years later, having ruled in absentia for those two decades.



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Default Re: Day 105. 2 Kings 7-9 - 01-15-2008, 01:40 AM

A little note or two on 2 Kings 9, then I'm done.

And when thou comest thither, look out there Jehu the son of Jehoshaphat the son of Nimshi, and go in, and make him arise up from among his brethren, and carry him to an inner chamber; Then take the box of oil, and pour it on his head, and say, Thus saith the LORD, I have anointed thee king over Israel. Then open the door, and flee, and tarry not. 2 Kings 9:2

As you will recall from 1 Kings 19:16, God instructed Elijah to annount Jehu sone of Nimshi as king: And Jehu the son of Nimshi shalt thou anoint to be king.

Setting aside the fact that God took Elijah up into Heaven before Elijah could annoint anyone King (by passing the mantle, that duty fell upon Elisha), was Jehu Nimshi's son or Jehosephat's son?

There is only one way to resolve this. Nimshi must have been both Jehu's mother and Jehosephat's mother. While this sounds like an incestual union (actually, it doesn't just sound that way, it IS that way), inbreeding is a time-honored tradition among royal houses. Just look at Prince Charles of England for an example of royal breeding gone terribly wrong.

Wall Pissers

I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall.... 2 Kings 9 As I have been warning for some time now, DO NOT PISS AGAINST WALLS!



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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