Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page Christian News update for 01-28-19! Anthony Davis, Scary Mommy, Atlanta snowflake kills dozens, and more!
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,410
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Exclamation Christian News update for 01-28-19! Anthony Davis, Scary Mommy, Atlanta snowflake kills dozens, and more! - 01-28-2019, 09:57 PM

Your #1 End-Times news source! News and rumors of News!

Anthony Davis
Anthony Davis has told Pelicans he won't re-sign, agent says
Liberal-bias sports is now naming teams after a strutting bird that swallows slippery, writhing cylinders alive. No, obviously no homosexual subliminal messages there. .
Prodigy
This 11-Year-Old Crocheting Prodigy Is Your New Hero
No, my heroes are still Donald Trump, Donald Trump, and DonaldTrump.
Scary Mommy
Scary Mommy
Wasn't this sister Sarah's new guide to child discipline?
Classroom
Madison teachers prepare to bring Black Lives Matter into the classroom
They think Hillary lost Wisconsin because white kids don't get beaten up enough there.
Atlanta weather
Some metro Atlanta express lanes to close ahead of winter weather
Bless their souls, but what a bunch of wimps southerners are, bless their souls. If General Sherman had really wanted to mess Atlanta up, he should have brought a handful of snow with him.
Periodic table
16 Elements: Berkeley Lab's Contributions to the Periodic Table
Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory
16 elements? Their humanities wing discovered 160 genders in the same time period. Step up your game, STEM-nerds.
Snake
Hyderabad: 50% of rescued snakes are Cobras, numbers increasing
Great, the snakehandlers have missionaries in India now. My next tech support call is just going to be lots of hissing.
IRS
IRS: Welcome Back, Opportunity Zones Need Your Attention
Is that what they're calling China these days?
Drive
13-year-old girl shot when bullets fly into bedroom during drive-by in ...
Bullets are flying now? Does the FAA know this? Or dose the media need to learn that guns don't kill people, blacks kill people.
Rolling Loud 2019
Kid Cudi, Travis Scott, and Migos to Headline Rolling Loud Miami
I don't know who they are, so how about they stay there.
Clever
The Clever Thrill Ride of “Russian Doll”
"Thriller" is film-snob code for "boring movie".
J. Cole
J. Cole leaves message for all generations in 'Middle Child'
Birth order - the newest battlefield for the oppression Olympics.
Epic
Metro Exodus is the latest game to ditch Steam for Epic's game store
There's nothing epic about sitting in your mom's basement playing with your wii. How about a Basement Exodus?
Scratch
Iredell woman wins $277777 in scratch-off lottery game
Wins first class ticket to HELL for gambling.
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton runs to Puerto Rico, not the White House
...
Rockets
Agent: Marquese Chriss wants opportunity with Rockets or a trade
If you want opportunity, how about you pick up some skills beyond running after balls like a dog.
NOAA
NOAA asks mariners to avoid group of 100 endangered whales south of Nantucket
You know who is really endangered? Anyone who tells me where I can or cannot sail my Yacht.
Challenger explosion
Remembering the 'star voyagers' who died 33 years ago when the Challenger exploded
Who?
Birds of Prey
First Birds of Prey footage has the entire cast in costume
If they swoop down and eat the cast of Cats, I'll watch this.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 1,335
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Nebraska, Land of the Sodomite Damned
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Guns Re: Christian News update for 01-28-19! Clinton Crime Family - 01-29-2019, 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton runs to Puerto Rico, not the White House
...
Looks like she's decided to drop the flimsy pretenses and just live openly as a criminal. Godzillary makes Pablo Escobar look like an amateur.




"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Social Construct's Avatar
Social Construct Social Construct is offline
Unsaved trash
Social Justice (false) Christian

So much snowflakeyness he needs an avalanche warning.
 

Barney Marxist Special Snowflake Commmmmunnissss Parking Lot Tither Cherry-picker Democrat

 
Posts: 103
Join Date: Jan 2019
Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Social Construct is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Christian News update for 01-28-19! Anthony Davis, Scary Mommy, Atlanta snowflake kills dozens, and mo - 01-30-2019, 02:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
guns don't kill people, blacks kill people.

They promise they'll stop once you give them fifty acres and a mule just like the constitution promises. Since I have a lot of freckles, I'll take 3 square inches and a guppy, thanks.


Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

MOD NOTE: click here for a Wokish-To-English Dictionary.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
hillary clinton, puerto rico, short attention span, soundbite news

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved